# Marital aids: Which one is the favorite? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 21, 2002, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842 "2002-11-21T01:13:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/1 "2002-11-21T01:13:30Z")
Inspired by this thread title: [Martial arts: Which one is the deadliest?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=145250) Given the wide variety out there, are there any clear favorites among the dopers? **For the ladies (mostly)** Artificial Penis (dildo) Vibrator Vibrator with clitoral stimulator internal vibrating egg Externally worn clitoral stimulator Inflatable guy Ben Wa balls Sybian (the ultimate sex machine?) **For the guys (mostly)** Artificial vagina whoopee pump inflatable gal **for either** Anal beads oral sex simulator The list is not meant to be exhaustive, it’s just what I could think of off the top of my head. So vote for your favorite! QtM ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/2 "2002-11-21T01:17:44Z")
Well, we haven’t gotten one yet, but thinking about it… You know those swing things you can hang from the ceiling? I’m thinking about one of those… Would not only be great on my knees, but would provide for an interesting range of positions… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/3 "2002-11-21T01:19:37Z")
Two cans of whipped cream, a slide rule, and a fuchsia. Party on! ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/4 "2002-11-21T01:32:22Z")
fuchsia 😕 [Google](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=fuchsia&btnG=Google+Search) says it is a flower. Is that right? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/5 "2002-11-21T01:38:26Z")
Well, Q, it depends on what you’re after and when you plan on using it. Those little vibrating eggs and/or externally worn clitoral stimulators with the wireless remote are very amusing for a night out on the town. 😉 A fuschia is a flower. I want details on the slide rule. Noodles, you’re strange. ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/6 "2002-11-21T01:39:05Z")
Um, nevermind. I think **Arnold** was just exacting his revenge on me (on behalf of Michael Jackson, see MPSIMS) and I have been whooshed.:o ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/7 "2002-11-21T01:53:02Z")
Or Noodles is by far the kinkiest of the moderators. ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/8 "2002-11-21T01:56:20Z")
😉 That could be. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/9 "2002-11-21T01:57:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*Or Noodles is by far the kinkiest of the moderators. \*\* Pfffft. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/10 "2002-11-21T01:59:49Z")
I’ll second **Arden Ranger** on the radio controlled vibrating eggs. Once while we were out, however, I made the mistake of letting another couple play with the remote, and now my GF won’t “wear” it out anymore. I’ve never used any toys on myself, but the “bunny rabbit vibrator” has got to be near the top. It vibrates, wiggles, has rotating beads in the shaft, and a little latex vibrating clitoral stimulator. She’s gotten a lot of use out of that one, and absolutely loves it when I use it on her. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/11 "2002-11-21T02:02:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by manhattan \* > \*\*Pfffft. 😉 \*\* Talk, talk and more talk. 😛 A length of rope and a posture collar do not a kinky bastard make. Just means he knows where to shop. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/12 "2002-11-21T02:04:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eleusis \* > \*\*I’ll second **Arden Ranger** on the radio controlled vibrating eggs. Once while we were out, however, I made the mistake of letting another couple play with the remote, and now my GF won’t “wear” it out anymore. > \*\* Heh. I don’t blame her. Now if you had mentioned to her on your way out the door that you were possibly going to do that, well, that would have been different and might have been a turn on in and of itself. ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/13 "2002-11-21T02:13:15Z")
Well, she mentioned it first, and didn’t mind when our female friend played with it, but the boyfriend enjoyed it a little too much and kept switching it on and off - abusing the priviledge. I shouldn’t say she _won’t_ wear it anymore, just that she hasn’t since that incident, about 2 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/14 "2002-11-21T02:21:57Z")
But **Arden** dear, which is the fave? Which gets the title of “Mr. (or Ms.) Happy” or “busy buzz-buzz”? Myself, it’s the solar powered pith helmet. But I always did walk on the wild side. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/15 "2002-11-21T02:33:00Z")
nun-chuks and star blades. Oh, _marital_ aids! ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/16 "2002-11-21T03:06:34Z")
Call me old-fashioned, but the best marital aid around these parts is coming home to find flowers on the table, ice cream in the freezer, and a CLEAN HOUSE. Ok, it’s mostly the clean house, but let me tell ya, I _really_ get in the mood then. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/17 "2002-11-21T03:33:48Z")
Not being married, I’d never use such a thing. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/18 "2002-11-21T04:09:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qadgop the Mercotan \* > \*\*But **Arden** dear, which is the fave? Which gets the title of “Mr. (or Ms.) Happy” or “busy buzz-buzz”? But I still say it depends. I love the Sybian, but I can’t very well take that out to liven up parties. Well, I could, but we don’t have many of those kinds of parties in Stillwater. Damn the Bible Belt. If you’re going to be a meanie and make me chose ONE, then I will go for the wireless remote clitoral stimulators because they are fantabulous for those “I’m being naughty in front of all these people and they have no idea” ocassions and if you’re into light bondage, they can be used for properly exquisite torment at home. > [@](#): > > Myself, it’s the solar powered pith helmet. But I always did walk on the wild side. \*\* You’re an animal, Q. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/19 "2002-11-21T07:08:45Z")
Well, first off, don;t make the mistake I made of buying a strap-on for your wife. The girls at the shop did not believe my (true!) story about my wife having a girlfriend. “Which do you like, ribbed or smooth?” YIKES! The best fun we had was with the remote-control panties. Only because the hotel maid found them and looked at us REAL funny. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842/20 "2002-11-21T07:13:55Z")
Dear God…I just realized I haven’t heard of just about ANY of this stuff… I think I’m scarred for life. [sub]They _make_ remote controlled hidden vibrators??[/sub] :eek: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-aids-which-one-is-the-favorite/137842.md?page=2)