# Marital Rant (LONG) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 4, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-rant-long/24514 "2000-07-04T02:22:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-rant-long/24514/61 "2000-07-08T03:59:50Z")
They’re really good, really thoughtful and really intelligent. Well-put, SmoothOperator and Scottchier. ---
**Author:** ![Lazarus7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/67e7ee/32.png) [@Lazarus7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazarus7)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-rant-long/24514/62 "2000-07-08T06:18:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > > Thank you for proving my point, you son of a bitch. \*\* I think leveling insults at my mother while she lies on her bed dying of cancer (30% survival rate over 3 years … I won’t even tell you about the stats for the next 5 years) - wasting away to a fraction of her original self as I am forced to watch … not to mention my having to leave town for several months in the middle of this … is a little low. Say what you want about me but I will not have you level insults at my mother ---
**Author:** ![Brunetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/839c29/32.png) [@Brunetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brunetter)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-rant-long/24514/63 "2000-07-08T06:28:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > \*\*Only you can make the call, but I have to say that if you are not of the opinion that your husband is abusing you, posting your frustrations on this board was NOT the way to make a bridge to better communication. Please think about this, and decide whether you should have invited the kind of posts you have gotten concerning your marriage, and broken trust with your husband. If you do NOT feel you are being abused, then you **have** broken trust with your husband. > > Scotti \*\* Uh-oh. Better re-read the OP, Scotti. I never invited anyone’s advice or comments in any way, shape, or form. Not that I shun them - far from it, this is a message board! - But I was not “crying out for help” or asking for anyone’s input. To put it in the vernacular - This is the fucking Pit, and someone needed to be Barbecued. I realize that a lot of people have jumped on the “spousal abuse bandwagon” and that’s perfectly alright. I feel very cared about and I appreciate that. HOWEVER, I did not come to the Pit to search that out. If I was looking for sympathy, I would have gone to MPSIMS and posted something like “Please Advise Me on My Crummy Marriage” or whatever. There are constantly ranting threads in the Pit about things that ONLY apply to the Poster - Crummy jobs, getting ripped off by someone, being pissed off at friends or parents, etc - and no one claims that these people are “breaking trust”. I look upon you all as a group of my friends - rightly or wrongly. Granted, I pay more attention to some of you than others, but I treat this board as an interaction between friends. And as such, I ranted (as many Pit-izens do) about something that was on my mind that night. As for Lazarus and I, NO I do not feel I am being abused, but I AM taking steps to ensure that this doesn’t become the case. That’s all for now… Brunetter ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-rant-long/24514/64 "2000-07-08T18:27:21Z")
Laz - Last I checked, calling someone a son of a bitch insulted THEM. But nice try on the “everyone feel sorry for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” ploy. And you claim you’re not manipulative? BULLSHIT. And if it’ll make you feel better, I take it back. You’re a yak-felching, goat-squicking putz. Better? ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-rant-long/24514/65 "2000-07-08T21:14:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Uh-oh. Better re-read the OP, Scotti. I never invited anyone’s advice or comments in any way, shape, or form. Not that I shun them - far from it, this is a message board! - But I was not “crying out for help” or asking for anyone’s input. To put it in the vernacular - > > This is the fucking Pit, and someone needed to be Barbecued. > > There are constantly ranting threads in the Pit about things that ONLY apply to the Poster - Crummy jobs, getting ripped off by someone, being pissed off at friends or parents, etc - and no one claims that these people are “breaking trust”. > \*\* Brunetter- Sorry if you feel I was out of line. In my opinion, posting ANYTHING on this board is inviting comments and advice. When I start a thread, I expect or hope to have people respond with both of those things. My feelings about breaking trust have to do with the fact that when you post a “rant” about your spouse, it is somewhat like raking him/her over the coals in front of a {very} large group of people. Again, this is my personal opinion, but unless this will help the situation in some way that I can’t understand, it feels to me like breaking trust. I would personally have chosen to “rant” to a close friend who could be trusted to help, or just listen while I vent my anger. However, you know your own situation best, and maybe starting this thread did not make the problem worse. In any case, I hope that the two of you work this out and that working through it ultimately makes your relationship stronger and closer. Sending my best- Scotti [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marital-rant-long/24514.md?page=3)