# Mark Wahlberg on 9/11 Plane: I Would Have Beat Terrorists, Landed It Safely **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 18, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939 "2012-01-18T21:19:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/1 "2012-01-18T21:19:31Z")
For all who don’t know, [Mark Wahlberg](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Wahlberg) is a real life scumbag: > [@](#): > > Wahlberg claims to have been in trouble 20–25 times with the Boston Police Department as a youth. By the age of 13, Wahlberg had developed an addiction to cocaine and other substances.[7][8] At 15, he harassed a group of black school children on a field trip by throwing rocks and shouting racial epithets.[9] > > When he was 16, Wahlberg approached a middle-aged Vietnamese man on the street and, using a large wooden stick, knocked him unconscious (while calling him “Vietnam fucking shit”). He also attacked another Vietnamese man, leaving him permanently blind in one eye, and attacked a security guard (again using racist language).[10][11] > > For these crimes, Wahlberg was charged with attempted murder, pleaded guilty to assault, and was sentenced to two years in jail at Boston’s Deer Island House of Correction, of which he served 45 days.[10][12] In another incident, the 21-year-old Wahlberg fractured the jaw of a neighbor in an unprovoked attack.[13] Commenting in 2006 on his past crimes, Wahlberg has stated: “I did a lot of things that I regretted and I have certainly paid for my mistakes.” He said the right thing to do would be to try to find the blinded man and make amends, and admitted he has not done so, but added that he was no longer burdened by guilt: “You have to go and ask for forgiveness and it wasn’t until I really started doing good and doing right, by other people as well as myself, that I really started to feel that guilt go away. So I don’t have a problem going to sleep at night. I feel good when I wake up in the morning.”[14] But all that happened a long time ago. I suppose people can change, mature, and become more sensible. Most don’t. Cue Mr. Wahlberg. At first, he just said things that were merely delusional (ie. I could knock out [Manny Pacquiao](http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2010/12/mark-wahlberg-says-he-could-knock-out-manny-pacquiao.html)). Also note that link has him discussing fighting people at Jets games. He stated he kicked a guy in the lower back so hard, he “probably broke his back”. I suppose most of that stuff is somewhat comical so long as you never run into him in person. But then Wahlberg ups the ante with this [gem](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/18/mark-wahlberg-on-911-plane_n_1213029.html): [QUOTE=Mark Wahlberg] If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did," he tells the magazine. “There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’” Wahlberg has spoken before of the near-miss, and the action he would have taken had he been on the flight. “We certainly would have tried to do something to fight,” he said in 2006. “I’ve had probably over 50 dreams about it.” [/QUOTE] Really Mark Wahlberg? Really? I know you think tuning up drunk guys at Jets games, and playing make believe in movies makes you a trained assassin, but this notion that you alone would have not only subdued several terrorists, but also landed the plane safely is preposterous. Even for a stupid, entitled actor. I have to give you credit for being from a poor area of Boston, and not choosing to become bank robber, but I think you have truly lost it sir. And if that were not enough, he doubles down with some weird stuff about how he doesn’t masturbate because he wants to lead a “clean and pure life”. ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/2 "2012-01-18T21:28:32Z")
His assumption that the passengers on those planes sat calmly and allowed the attacks is baffling to me. Is he a moron? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/3 "2012-01-18T21:30:31Z")
> [@Alias](#): > > Is he a moron? Re-read the OP and you’ll have your answer. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/4 "2012-01-18T21:31:17Z")
Mark was originally booked on flight 11. I can understand why he dreams of it. Maybe it would have helped having someone bad tempered jump those bastards? If that encouraged the other passengers to join in then … maybe history would have been different. It only takes one guy to lead a revolt. The passengers on the other plane did fight back, got in the cockpit and almost saved the plane. From what I read they came really close. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/5 "2012-01-18T21:34:25Z")
Yeah. I think he would have done exactly what everyone else did: stay seated, don’t say a word and hope for the best. None of the passengers knew that the planes were going to crash into the twin towers. From the passengers’ perspective the planes were returning to Logan, or landing at JFK (I forget) and that one of the hijackers on each had a fucking bomb strapped to him. (Not a real bomb, but the passengers didn’t know that.) I’m sure he would have tried his best on flight 93, because by then the passengers did know what was going to happen. ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/6 "2012-01-18T22:17:24Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Mark was originally booked on flight 11. I can understand why he dreams of it. > > Maybe it would have helped having someone bad tempered jump those bastards? If that encouraged the other passengers to join in then … maybe history would have been different. It only takes one guy to lead a revolt. > > The passengers on the other plane did fight back, got in the cockpit and almost saved the plane. From what I read they came really close. And what makes you think Wahlberg would have actually done anything? I suppose he could slapped those terrorists with his Dirk Diggler prosthetic penis, then jumped aboard the pod form Planet of the Apes, but I don’t think there is anything in Wahlberg’s background to support the belief he is capable of anything but bullying the weak and defenseless. This is a guy who bragged about kicking a guy in the back. A guy who blinded an Asian guy by beating him with a wooden stick in a racially motivated attack. Nothing in his character screams “selfless hero willing to get into real danger”. Not to mention that stopping the terrorists doesn’t land the plane. At least if John Travolta had made such a claim, he could rest on the power of Zenu and a commercial pilot’s license. Wahlberg just has a tough guy rhetoric. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/7 "2012-01-18T22:24:42Z")
For all of the nonsense in his statements, the part that puts it over the edge for me is that he works in the mention that he was seated in FIRST CLASS. Because that was really my concern, you know? What if the poor guy was stuck in economy? I do sincerely have sympathy for anyone who was booked on one of those flights, it must be something that weighs heavily upon them. But his comments to the interviewer are poorly worded, at best. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/8 "2012-01-18T22:28:58Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > Not to mention that stopping the terrorists doesn’t land the plane. At least if John Travolta had made such a claim, he could rest on the power of Zenu and a commercial pilot’s license. Wahlberg just has a tough guy rhetoric. As the \*Mythbusters \*have demonstrated, anybody can land a plane safely when being talked through the motions by a competent ATC. Especially a large commercial liner - unless I’m very much mistaken, their landings are fully automated these days. The pilot’s just there in case something important conks out or an emergency landing is required. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/9 "2012-01-18T22:37:22Z")
I predict we’ll elect him POTUS in 15-18 years, tops. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/10 "2012-01-18T22:43:42Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > As the \*Mythbusters \*have demonstrated, anybody can land a plane safely when being talked through the motions by a competent ATC. Especially a large commercial liner - unless I’m very much mistaken, their landings are fully automated these days. The pilot’s just there in case something important conks out or an emergency landing is required. Patrick Smith, an airline pilot who has a column at Salon, has thoroughly debunked both the “autopilot doing all the flying” and “the anyone can land a plane with some instruction from the control tower” myths. I did see the Mythbusters episode about the latter, but Smith said that they oversimplified what such scenario would entail. Here’s a link to his column about the episode. > **[Ask the pilot - Salon.com](https://www.salon.com/2007/12/21/askthepilot258/)** > > Can someone with no flight training safely land an airliner? Plus: Pilotless planes, overpaid pilots and other aviation myths. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/11 "2012-01-18T23:28:07Z")
Meh, I think he’s overstating things a little. Yes, autopilot definitely does not simply mean “press red button to initiate safe landing at nearest airport”, but even if there were 50 switches to toggle, somebody \*can \*tell you which switch to toggle to what when. As for aligning the plane at such and such altitude, such and such speed and such and such heading before the autolander can kick in - it’s not really rocket science once you’re told where the throttle is and which dials to read. Hell, you could even configure the autopilot to get you there, too. So, yeah. I know it’s more complicated than “press button, relax” (Falcon 4.0 taught me that much), but it’s not “thoroughly impossible task that nobody could ever achieve without years of experience and a blood compact with a lower Celestial” either. At worst, it’s “teaching a computer illiterate grandmother to install Debian over the phone” difficult. Nothing to sweat, really ! 🙂 And now I kinda want to try it for myself. _sigh_ Though I’ll certainly agree with him that for a complete non-pilot, opening a radio channel with the ground to begin with would be the big stumper. ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2012, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/12 "2012-01-18T23:52:29Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Meh, I think he’s overstating things a little. > Yes, autopilot definitely does not simply mean “press red button to initiate safe landing at nearest airport”, but even if there were 50 switches to toggle, somebody \*can \*tell you which switch to toggle to what when. As for aligning the plane at such and such altitude, such and such speed and such and such heading before the autolander can kick in - it’s not really rocket science once you’re told where the throttle is and which dials to read. Hell, you could even configure the autopilot to get you there, too. > So, yeah. I know it’s more complicated than “press button, relax” (Falcon 4.0 taught me that much), but it’s not “thoroughly impossible task that nobody could ever achieve without years of experience and a blood compact with a lower Celestial” either. At worst, it’s “teaching a computer illiterate grandmother to install Debian over the phone” difficult. Nothing to sweat, really ! 🙂 > > And now I kinda want to try it for myself. _sigh_ > > Though I’ll certainly agree with him that for a complete non-pilot, opening a radio channel with the ground to begin with would be the big stumper. This is what I came to say as well. I’ve heard others make such overstatements before though, and always wonder what is a specific example of a problem I would have a high likelihood of encountering that would likely cause me to crash the aircraft. Let’s assume I have a radio channel open, am a technical person who knows the basics of flight, has time to “get the feel” and learn some of the buttons, and even make a few passes to make sure I can line up and not drastically over or under shoot the runway. Forget about the autopilot. Do I really have zero chance? What are some examples of in-flight situations I’m likely to fuck up? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/13 "2012-01-19T00:05:04Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > None of the passengers knew that the planes were going to crash into the twin towers. From the passengers’ perspective the planes were returning to Logan, or landing at JFK (I forget) and that one of the hijackers on each had a fucking bomb strapped to him. (Not a real bomb, but the passengers didn’t know that.) Remember that the mindset before that day was that airplane hijackers would have the plane fly someplace, it would land, the hijackers would made some demands, and eventually everything would be resolved one way or the other. Basically no one expected a jetliner to be hijacked to be used on a suicide mission. (I’m excluding a few mentions of the idea in fiction.) The passengers on United Flight 93 heard via inflight telephone calls that other planes had been hijacked for suicide missions and that’s why they fought back. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/14 "2012-01-19T00:41:34Z")
**Mark Wahlberg** would have wrestled John Wilkes Booth to the ground! **Mark Wahlberg** would have stormed Auchwitz, freed the prisoners and forced the Nazis into the ovens! Single-handed! **Mark Wahlberg** would have gotten Bix Beiderbecke, Elvis and Judy Garland into rehab and kept them alive for decades! **Mark Wahlberg** would have recounted the votes in Florida! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/15 "2012-01-19T00:58:44Z")
FTR, Wahlberg has already apologized and put $50 in the douchebag jar. As for those bringing up his sordid past, it seems to me that he’s worked very hard to transform himself into a better person. He’s stayed out of trouble for many years and earned a reputation for being a dedicated, hard working actor. He speaks often of trying to be a good father to his kids. So I’ll give him a pass on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/16 "2012-01-19T01:12:16Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > **Mark Wahlberg** would have wrestled John Wilkes Booth to the ground! > > **Mark Wahlberg** would have stormed Auchwitz, freed the prisoners and forced the Nazis into the ovens! Single-handed! > > **Mark Wahlberg** would have gotten Bix Beiderbecke, Elvis and Judy Garland into rehab and kept them alive for decades! > > **Mark Wahlberg** would have recounted the votes in Florida! Chuck Norris comes to Wahlberg when he decides something is too tough for him. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/17 "2012-01-19T01:12:43Z")
> [@iamnotbatman](#): > > This is what I came to say as well. I’ve heard others make such overstatements before though, and always wonder what is a specific example of a problem I would have a high likelihood of encountering that would likely cause me to crash the aircraft. Let’s assume I have a radio channel open, am a technical person who knows the basics of flight, has time to “get the feel” and learn some of the buttons, and even make a few passes to make sure I can line up and not drastically over or under shoot the runway. Forget about the autopilot. Do I really have zero chance? What are some examples of in-flight situations I’m likely to fuck up? You mean forget about using the autopilot? If so you will quite likely fail to manage the inertia of a large aeroplane travelling at 4 miles per minute. You would probably, at some point in the approach, get too slow and not pick it up in time to recover. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/18 "2012-01-19T01:17:25Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > **Mark Wahlberg** would have wrestled John Wilkes Booth to the ground! > > **Mark Wahlberg** would have stormed Auchwitz, freed the prisoners and forced the Nazis into the ovens! Single-handed! > > **Mark Wahlberg** would have gotten Bix Beiderbecke, Elvis and Judy Garland into rehab and kept them alive for decades! > > **Mark Wahlberg** would have recounted the votes in Florida! Mark Wahlberg is an eight foot two ton monster who can palm a medicine ball. Mark Wahlberg sheds his skin once a year. Mark Wahlberg will eat a homeless person if you dare him. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/19 "2012-01-19T01:28:34Z")
> [@standingwave](#): > > Mark Wahlberg is an eight foot two ton monster who can palm a medicine ball. > > Mark Wahlberg sheds his skin once a year. > > Mark Wahlberg will eat a homeless person if you dare him. Mark Wahlberg lives vicariously through himself. Sharks have a week dedicated to him. ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/20 "2012-01-19T01:32:12Z")
Why do I hear Breckin Meyer’s Robot Chicken Boba Fett voice when I read that? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939.md?page=2)