# Mark Wahlberg on 9/11 Plane: I Would Have Beat Terrorists, Landed It Safely **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 18, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939 "2012-01-18T21:19:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/41 "2012-01-19T12:41:59Z")
“I’m the guy who defeats teams of hijackers and lands airplanes. You must be that other guy.” ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/42 "2012-01-19T12:47:40Z")
[Mark Wahlberg apologizes for 9/11 comments > [@](#): > > In his apology, Wahlberg said to speculate was “ridiculous to begin with.” He said that to suggest he “would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible.” ]([http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US\_PEOPLE\_MARK\_WAHLBERG?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-01-19-06-48-49](http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_PEOPLE_MARK_WAHLBERG?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-01-19-06-48-49)) [ > [@Mark Wahlberg](#): > > I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention. ]([http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/18/mark-wahlberg-apology-911/#.TxgQk5jSN38](http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/18/mark-wahlberg-apology-911/#.TxgQk5jSN38)) ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/43 "2012-01-19T13:02:21Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > 1. You’re assuming that an airplane that has already been hijacked, people killed, and the flight crew murdered will have _nothing else_ go wrong? Um… _really?_ Sure, why not ? If the plane was hijacked, as opposed to bombed outright, the hijackers obviously intend to drive it somewhere. It would make little sense for them to cripple their own ride. I’m not aware there was anything wrong mechanically with any of the 9/11 planes. Not until their idiosyncratic landings, anyhow. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/44 "2012-01-19T13:29:37Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > That airline pilot link has a link to [this picture](http://www.airliners.net/photo/1190987/L/) of a typical cockpit. I don’t think it would be easy at all for someone (an air traffic controller, who’d be your contact, not a pilot, unless they had time to get a pilot in to help before you crashed the plane - seconds can make all the difference) to direct a passenger around all those knobs and levers, even if said passenger managed to remain cool and collected in such a stressful situation. It looks daunting, but most of these knobs and bits control things that, while you need to master if you intend to take that plane from A to B and back again hundreds of times a year without the maintenance boys inventing horrible nicknames for ya, and face any amount of unplanned accidents or failures confidently ; are of very little import when your sole purpose is to ground the bitch more-or-less safely once. Stuff like the electrical systems, trimming, de-icing, oil temps, oil pressures, fuel systems & dumps, fire extinguishers, engine controls, nav lights, nav beacon tools, nav planning, transponders, cabin pressure & air conditioning, radio doodads etc… What you _really_ need to figure out with a quickness is how to read the artificial horizon so you don’t run headlong into the ground or veer off course, find the altimeter and climb/drop rate, the airspeed reading, and the compass. Which are all helpfully labelled (I think I found most of that on the provided picture). With this info alone, after some fudging around, you should be able to get the plane straight and level on a designated heading _relatively_ painlessly. And from that point on, the tower has some time to fetch someone to tell you how to rig up the autopilot to get you properly aligned with a convenient airstrip, then how to rig it up for a descent that looks almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a correct landing pattern. This all assumes clement weather and ample fuel reserves of course. Absent that, is there a religious man on board, or do we have to improvise the prayers too ? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/45 "2012-01-19T13:49:47Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Chuck Norris comes to Wahlberg when he decides something is too tough for him. Feh– **Mark Wahlberg** makes Chuck Norris look like Truman Capote! **Mark Wahlberg** can make ladies pregnant just by saying his name out loud: "_ **MARK WAHLBERG!"** _ See? Now you’re all _pregnant!_ ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/46 "2012-01-19T13:50:01Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Sure, why not ? If the plane was hijacked, as opposed to bombed outright, the hijackers obviously intend to drive it somewhere. It would make little sense for them to cripple their own ride. I’m not aware there was anything wrong mechanically with any of the 9/11 planes. > Not until their idiosyncratic landings, anyhow. I was thinking more along the lines of human panic, arguments among the survivors as to who should try to fly it, etc. Seriously, it’s NOT just about the mechanical integrity of the airplane. The only way a non-certified-for-airliner pilot is going to get the airplane on the ground with survivors is for everything to go perfectly correct, no hesitations at critical moments, no mistakes, doing something they’ve never done before under an enormously stressful situation. I place the odds of survival extremely low. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/47 "2012-01-19T14:28:55Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Feh– **Mark Wahlberg** makes Chuck Norris look like Truman Capote! > > **Mark Wahlberg** can make ladies pregnant just by saying his name out loud: "_ **MARK WAHLBERG!"** _ > > See? Now you’re all _pregnant!_ Damn, you’re right! And I’m a dude! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/48 "2012-01-19T14:32:04Z")
I remember reading that there was a licensed private pilot among the passengers of flight 93. I think that ups the odds somewhat; he could presumably hold the plane straight and level. That buys you time to figure out how to work the radio. He already knows the emergency frequency, how to turn, etc. I always wondered what ATC would do then. The plane was intended for a cross-country trip, so it had plenty of fuel. (Although they had been at low alititude for a while, which burns fuel faster.) Why not send them out to Edwards Air Force Base to land on the dry lake? Lots more room for error out there. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/49 "2012-01-19T14:38:06Z")
[QUOTE=Broomstick] I was thinking more along the lines of human panic, arguments among the survivors as to who should try to fly it, etc. Seriously, it’s NOT just about the mechanical integrity of the airplane. The only way a non-certified-for-airliner pilot is going to get the airplane on the ground with survivors is for everything to go perfectly correct, no hesitations at critical moments, no mistakes, doing something they’ve never done before under an enormously stressful situation. I place the odds of survival extremely low. [/QUOTE] Well, yes, but we are not discussing just any passenger doing it. It’s still **Mark Wahlberg** , the guy who played that dude in that movie, you know, the one with the thing ? If anyone can calm a hysterical crowd with a steely glare and keep cool under pressure while kicking terrorist ass at the same time, it’s him. Joke aside, though, in crowd panic scenarios, it really is often all it takes to keep people quiet - one guy to step forward, bark orders and at least looks like he knows what the hell he’s doing, even though he most probably doesn’t. The Herd is strong in our species. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/50 "2012-01-19T14:43:08Z")
Mark Wahlberg is 63.27% testicles by weight. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/51 "2012-01-19T14:43:23Z")
Markey Mark now believes his own BS! Yeah, a punk like Walberg is a “tough guy”-when rolling drnks and somebody half his size. Is this an effort to revive his failing career? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/52 "2012-01-19T14:45:55Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Mark Wahlberg is 63.27% testicles by weight. But only 22% by volume. ---
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/53 "2012-01-19T14:50:46Z")
Mark did grow up in southie… so theirs their’s the issue of inherent idiocy that he probably has to daily fight agaiinst… and throwing up the N word to some kids from Roxbury is just a way of saying hello… I’m thinking that since this isn’t the first time he’s made comments on this issue that he has some sort of issues he needs to work thru with someone who specializes in that shit… ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/54 "2012-01-19T15:00:09Z")
Mark Wahlberg doesn’t always drink beer. But when he does, he prefers Dos Equis. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/55 "2012-01-19T15:28:05Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Mark Wahlberg is 63.27% testicles by weight. The rest is abs. Note: 0% brain. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/56 "2012-01-19T15:36:51Z")
> [@Chicagojeff](#): > > Mark did grow up in southie.. so theirs their’s the issue of inherent idiocy that he probably has to daily fight agaiinst.. and throwing up the N word to some kids from Roxbury is just a way of saying hello.. > > I’m thinking that since this isn’t the first time he’s made comments on this issue that he has some sort of issues he needs to work thru with someone who specializes in that shit.. Growing up in Southie gives him some cred for being a tough kid, but he’s been living the soft life for way too long at this point. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/57 "2012-01-19T16:08:58Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Mark Wahlberg is 63.27% testicles by weight. _Each_ of Mark Wahlberg’s testicles is 63.27% of his weight. You say percentages don’t work that way? Maybe not for you, but they do for Mark Wahlberg. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/58 "2012-01-19T16:09:13Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > [Mark Wahlberg apologizes for 9/11 comments](http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_PEOPLE_MARK_WAHLBERG?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-01-19-06-48-49) > [url=[http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/18/mark-wahlberg-apology-911/#.TxgQk5jSN38](http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/18/mark-wahlberg-apology-911/#.TxgQk5jSN38)] That apology looks like something written by his manager or agent. I wonder if he himself really realizes how much of a mistake these comments are. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/59 "2012-01-19T16:10:23Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > And what makes you think Wahlberg would have actually done anything? I suppose he could **slapped those terrorists with his Dirk Diggler prosthetic penis** … (bolding mine) Why not? It works wonders in Saint’s Row the Third. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939/60 "2012-01-19T16:14:50Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Mark Wahlberg is 63.27% testicles by weight. Mark Wahlberg testicles sold by weight, not volume. Some testicle settling may occur during shipping. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mark-wahlberg-on-9-11-plane-i-would-have-beat-terrorists-landed-it-safely/609939.md?page=4)