# marriage advice?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-advice/388479>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [January 18, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-advice/388479 "2007-01-18T18:13:47Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![FRDE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e68b1a/32.png) [@FRDE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FRDE)\
**Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-advice/388479/41 "2007-01-22T12:20:25Z")

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[QUOTE=pope\_hentai]  
sorry i dissappeared, my wife found this threap while puttering around here on tha dope, and we had a long talk, and got alot of things worked out finally, i’m making adjustments and so is she, so things are lookin up in the hentai household!  
[/QUOTE]

Out of interest, did you kind of anticipate that ?

If so a smart move

- also, if she is poking about here, then she has redeeming qualities.

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-advice/388479/42 "2007-01-22T16:52:14Z")

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Well, now we know what she’s doing all day… 😉

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**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\
**Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-advice/388479/43 "2007-01-22T18:21:21Z")

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[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster]  
First, insist she go to a physician. Go with her to the appointment and tell the doc that you think she might be depressed. There are other conditions that would also cause her to sleep so much and be tired so much and she needs a full physical workup. Her physician should also be able (having done the differential diagnosis) to determine if she is depressed.  
[/QUOTE]  
How do you get someone who doesn’t want to go, and probably doesn’t think there’s a problem, to a doctor? I imagine the scenario playing out like this -

“Sugarboodle, there’s something wrong, maybe you should see a doctor”  
“Why? I’m fine, just tired/sick/whatever”  
“No, really. Maybe just see if your meds can be changed”  
“What are you saying? Are you implying that there’s something wrong with me?”  
“No, I’m just worried about you, you lay in bed all…”  
“Gawd, I’m sorry I’m not up to your standards Mr/Mrs f\*c!ing perfect!”

That or total apathy.

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-advice/388479/44 "2007-01-23T18:45:32Z")

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That sounds about like the way it’d go, **bobo**. You can’t make anyone do anything, even if it is for their own good. She has to get her own shit together, for her own reasons. I know it’s frustrating as hell, but that’s the way it is. Of course, when you’re married, you should love the person enough to want to make their life better, even if that means changing some of the ways you do things.

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