# marriage and last names
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [March 31, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558 "2003-03-31T22:01:09Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@ShadiRoxan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadiRoxan)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/1 "2003-03-31T22:01:09Z")
i know that in the middle east when a woman gets married her name does not change. i was wondering what other cultures do this? also what started women changing their names and why?
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### Author:  [@robcaro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robcaro)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/2 "2003-03-31T23:31:37Z")
Here in Colombia, many women keep their maiden names. For example: Maria Garcia Arias was her maiden name. Where Garcia is her Father’s name and Arias is her Mothers name. After marriage, usually the name would be something like: Maria Garcia Arias de Velasquez. But, she continues to go by Maria Garcia even though she is married to Velasquez. Does that make any sense?
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### Author:  [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/3 "2003-04-01T01:48:59Z")
In Italy a woman keeps her birth name all of her life. Children take their father’s last name.
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### Author:  [@MrO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrO)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/4 "2003-04-01T02:05:14Z")
In Korea, it’s the same as Italy, apparently. Women almost always keep their name, and the kids have the father’s family name.
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### Author:  [@Rusalka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rusalka)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/5 "2003-04-01T02:09:05Z")
I don’t understand why women in the U.S. change their last name. It’s stupid and confusing.
If you get married and do nothing, your name stays the same. You have to go through a _legal process_ to change your name to match the husband’s. Why do women bother?? Unbelievable! If nothing else, you’d think most of them would keep their old name through sheer laziness. Maybe a married woman can enlighten us.
I’m a woman, if I ever get married I wouldn’t dream of changing my last name. Your last name is part of who you are. Why would you abandon that?
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### Author:  [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/6 "2003-04-01T03:49:15Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rusalka \*
> \*\*I don’t understand why women in the U.S. change their last name. It’s stupid and confusing.
>
> If you get married and do nothing, your name stays the same. You have to go through a _legal process_ to change your name to match the husband’s. Why do women bother?? Unbelievable! If nothing else, you’d think most of them would keep their old name through sheer laziness. Maybe a married woman can enlighten us.
>
> I’m a woman, if I ever get married I wouldn’t dream of changing my last name. Your last name is part of who you are. Why would you abandon that? \*\*
I would have no idea if there are any statistics on this, but quite a few American women today no longer change their name, and many hyphenate it.
I suppose it depends on where you go. For instance, when Bill Clinton ran for governor of Arkansas in 1980, it was claimed he lost among many voters because his wife kept her maiden name. This did not go over well in rural areas, so later when he ran and won again, Hillary Rodham became Hillary Clinton. I doubt if people in New York City or California would give a damn.
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### Author:  [@ShadiRoxan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadiRoxan)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/7 "2003-04-01T04:01:20Z")
i realize that many american women are keeping their maiden names now, but i’m still wondering how the trend of changing the last name started in the first place.
in iran, as i’m sure with many of the cultures/countries listed above, a woman never changed her last name. it’s not a modern thing.
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### Author:  [@royjwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/royjwood)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/8 "2003-04-01T04:02:07Z")
I agree with Rusalka, your last name is a definite part of you, so if you love your husband, you should want to be identified with him. As it symbolises the move from your parents care to that of your husband.
However, here in East Timor, the name thing is similar to Columbia, but even more confusing. In that
first, you have a given name,
Then you have the “family” name of your father,
Then you have the “family” name of your mother,
Then you add to that the “family” name of your God-Parents.
Then when you get married, you keep your name as it is, but your children go through the same process.
But, how do you determine the “family” name of your parents?
Also, which of your God-Parent’s “family names” do you use?
Hence, my wife’s name is Juvita (given name) Berkmas (father’s “family” name) Da Costa ( mother’s “family” name) Soares (God-Parents “family” name) Wood.
It simply makes a whole lot more sense to utilise a standard family name.
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### Author:  [@Bob55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob55)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/9 "2003-04-01T04:08:51Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by mipiace \*
> \*\*In Italy a woman keeps her birth name all of her life. Children take their father’s last name. \*\*
The wife of my Italian cousin took on his last name, as did my grandmothers & great grandmothers. Maybe this practice is confined to specific regions though (my relatives are from the northeast).
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### Author:  [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/10 "2003-04-01T04:18:28Z")
Hawaii requires a woman to change her last name upon marriage. It’s the only state that does.
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### Author:  [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/11 "2003-04-01T04:27:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Bob55 \*
> \*\*The wife of my Italian cousin took on his last name, as did my grandmothers & great grandmothers. Maybe this practice is confined to specific regions though (my relatives are from the northeast). \*\*
No, I lived in Friuli Giulia, near Venice for 6 years (Northeast)and no one I knew had their husbands last name. Same for where my former husband came from in Lomardi (near Milan) and in the South where I have many freinds. Perhaps changing her name is a regional custom but no Italian woman I have ever known changed her name.
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### Author:  [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/12 "2003-04-01T04:28:32Z")
Japan doesn’t require the wife to change her name, but it does require that the couple have the same last name. 95% of the time, that means they use the husband’s name, but sometimes the husband will change his name to his wife’s, which their children will then also use.
There are regular votes in the parliament to allow separate names, but so far it’s been shot down every time.
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### Author:  [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/13 "2003-04-01T04:29:39Z")
A second thought I changed my name because I wanted to share my name with my children. I kept it after I was divorced simply because I like the way my name sounds - it’s very alliterative.
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### Author:  [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/14 "2003-04-01T05:09:14Z")
When I married my husband, he insisted that we have the same last name. He said he would change his to mine if I wished, but he thought we should have the same last name. (It cuts down on confusion.) I chose to take his because he has a interesting-sounding German name that pairs with my first name very well. (Though I am doomed to spell it repeatedly to dentists, doctors, credit card companies, the pizza man, etc. for the rest of my days.)
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### Author:  [@presidebt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/presidebt)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/15 "2003-04-01T05:22:20Z")
I hated my last name, so I changed it. It costs $20 (in KY) if you want to change one of your names or all of them, so I opted for all of them. Now I say, “it’s a perfectly good last name, I paid $20 for it, I think I’ll keep it.” It’s actually a maiden name from five generations back on my mother’s side, so it has sentimental value as well.
The perfect guy would offer me $10 bucks and change _his_ name to _mine_. \
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### Author:  [@Arturas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arturas)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/16 "2003-04-01T05:30:11Z")
In Lithuania, women change their last name because to be, say 30-35, with one’s parent’s name is a definite turnoff for men (they are less likely to take a first look). It is far more attractive to be divorced, after all it might, or probably was the husband’s fault. The idea of spinsters being those women who are unable to get along with anyone enough to even get married is very strong. And this custom is very long standing. Married women also used to wear different headwear. (Incidently, men who have not married by about the same age are also not attractive for the same reason, just they don’t announce it with their last name.)
But a word about last names. Here the ending of a woman’s last name indicates her marital status. -aite, -yte, -iute means unmmaried, -iene means married. It is unimportant whose name preceeds that ending, so sometimes the husband takes the wife’s last name (with a masculine ending, of course) and the wife changes the maiden ending to the married ending. It is also possible to take one of the grandparent’s last names or mother’s maiden names but both bride and groom have to do so (A member of the band, ZAS, recently went from Mazeika to Karalius, but we forget where the name came from.) And then I have a good friend whose did not change her last name at all.
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### Author:  [@ShadiRoxan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadiRoxan)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/17 "2003-04-01T05:33:06Z")
i understand wanting to have the same name as your children and preventing confusion, but the question still remains, how (and possibly when) did this custom start and why does it seem to only happen in the west?
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/18 "2003-04-01T05:37:29Z")
I have no longer have a familial last name and even if I did, the love of my wife would in no way prevent me from adopting her surname.
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### Author:  [@Rusalka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rusalka)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/19 "2003-04-01T06:09:34Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Reeder \*
> \*\*Hawaii requires a woman to change her last name upon marriage. It’s the only state that does. \*\*
I find that rather hard to believe, simply because in this country, you’re allowed to have whatever name you chose to call yourself. I imagine that rule would have been overturned a long time ago by the Supreme Court. Do you have a cite?
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### Author:  [@msgotrocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msgotrocks)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-and-last-names/165558/20 "2003-04-01T06:28:52Z")
With apologies to ShadiRoxan, because I know she really wants an answer (and so do I)…
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rusalka \*
> **If you get married and do nothing, your name stays the same. You have to go through a _legal process_ to change your name to match the husband’s. Why do women bother?? Unbelievable! If nothing else, you’d think most of them would keep their old name through sheer laziness.**
I found out about five minutes after my marriage ceremony that I could choose use either surname at any time. According to the laws of the state we got married in, the marriage certificate was all the legal proof I needed. Paying $55 for a license and saying “I do” wasn’t really the harrowing legal process you make it out to be.
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