# Marriage contract?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-contract/345383>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [February 20, 2006, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-contract/345383 "2006-02-20T22:04:22Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![zelie\_zelerton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/59ef9b/32.png) [@zelie\_zelerton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zelie_zelerton)\
**Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-contract/345383/41 "2006-02-23T21:05:40Z")

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> [@missbunny](#):
>
> Aside from the fact the guy kidnapped his wife, the bdsm community - at least the ones in it who use or believe in these types of “contracts” - thinks this one was was quite tame and very “beginner.”
> 
> If his wife wasn’t into it too, that’s another issue. But the contract itself - meh, the bdsm community says. Not weird, not very demanding, not very restrictive, definitely not psycho. Quite “nice,” on his part, in fact. And nowhere near as specific as it could have been. You think the stuff he wrote was “controlling” or down into the minutia of what he could possibly expect regarding sex? Man, you gotta find some real hardcore d/s practitioners and ask them what their lives are like - there aren’t enough of these smilies :eek: on earth to express what you’d think of their rules!

It’s not really that anyone is saying there are not contracts. It’s just that this isn’t a contract - not any kind of contract i’ve ever seen anyway. There are degrees of BDSM activity and i’d certainly be pretty squicked over but if adults are into it and agree to it then i’m not gonna judge them. But this doesn’t look anything like an agreement between two adults. I have to say i tend to agree with Maastricht’s take that it’s mostly a written fantasy.

**The Highwayman** : BDSM contracts are not intended to have any legal status. It’s more a written agreement between partners which makes clear the ‘rules’ of engagement. Personally i think the word ‘contract’ is a poor one for these documents but it’s what is commonly used so…meh.

**Maastricht** : There’s a whole \*world \* of difference between ‘domineering’ and ‘dominant’.

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**Author:** ![kaskade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@kaskade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaskade)\
**Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-contract/345383/42 "2006-02-23T23:05:56Z")

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I want to punch this guy in the face.

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