# "Marriage Friendly" counselors--appealing?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-friendly-counselors-appealing/591963>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 8, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-friendly-counselors-appealing/591963 "2011-08-08T17:21:03Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-friendly-counselors-appealing/591963/21 "2011-08-09T15:02:55Z")

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To me someone who goes out of their way to call themselves “Marriage Friendly” sounds pretty christ-y. If that’s what you’re into, go for it, but I’d rather get myself someone who is going to look at the relationship objectively.

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**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-friendly-counselors-appealing/591963/22 "2011-08-09T15:23:12Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Also, don’t be surprised if, even after you work out everything prior to the wedding, 6 months to a year after, issues you thought were resolved crop up.

This is true. I’ve got a good friend who’s a therapist, and she thinks that instead of premarital counselling, everyone should be required to go to a marriage counselor between six months to a year after being married, when the issues start to crop up. She’d like to see a lot of churches require it instead of the premarital deal, when you get a lot of starry-eyed, “Oh, but we’ll _never_ argue!”.

I think that would be awesome and that she’s brilliant.

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**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\
**Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marriage-friendly-counselors-appealing/591963/23 "2011-08-09T15:51:39Z")

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To me, it would depend on what you’re seeking the premarital counseling for. Are you committed to getting married and just looking for insights on how to make that marriage work better, or are you uncertain whether or not you should be getting married? (I’m asking rhetorically; please don’t feel obliged to answer). If the former, then I wouldn’t have a problem with a marriage-friendly counselor.

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