# Married Bait and Switch **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 7, 2014, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005 "2014-08-07T05:17:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/41 "2014-08-10T01:10:35Z")
I think this happens on both sides, and to some degree it is inevitable. But there are ways to keep a marriage fresh. They just take work. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/42 "2014-08-10T02:07:15Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > I know several divorced ladies who sure look a hell of a lot better than they did while married. Gone are the mom jeans and short haircuts and permanent frowns, replaced by summer dresses long flowing hair and easy smiles. It might be bait and switch, it might also be a direct result of removing a large source of stress from their lives. It’s also being forced to actually get dressed up if you want to attract someone and get laid. The fact of the matter is that when people are single, they have a shit-load of free time. And they spend a significant amount of that time working on their “brand” (for lack of a better term) so as to attract a partner. Clothes, hair, going to the gym, planning all sorts of fun parties and outings. Marriage is also mostly a shit-load of shared chores. Particularly if you have kids. Doesn’t leave much time for planning fancy dates with the SO. Also, the fact of the matter is that you and your wife aren’t 26 any more. Everyone always fantasizes that if they were single, they’d be living in some sweet loft in SoHo (or whatever your equivalent), partying every night and banging all sorts of chicks (or dudes). But there gets to be a point in life when you go to the bar and instead of seeing a wild party, you see a bunch of sad middle-aged drunks and losers./ Your wife isn’t preventing you from fucking a bunch of college co-eds. She’s the one preventing you from sitting in Appleby’s by yourself. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/43 "2014-08-10T05:25:43Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > “But not as good as her brother.” > > Regards, > Shodan Bawahahaha Win… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/44 "2014-08-10T05:30:10Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > Although this thread may not want a serious answer, I will try one anyway. My mother always said two things about marriage and I told them to my wife before we were married and have lived by them, as has she. > > Marriage is not a reform school. > > The most important person in your life is your spouse. More than your parents, siblings, childred, or friends. > > Moreover she respected the fact that my wife was more important to me than my mother, although it was hard for her to. And for 50+ years my wife and I have lived by this. YMMV My Mother’s Mother told her that if her husband wanted her to go somewhere with him, to do it because it won’t take many 'No’s before he will find someone who will. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/45 "2014-08-10T05:35:24Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > A single man comes home, sees what’s in the fridge, and goes to bed. > > A married man comes home, sees what’s in the bed, and goes to the fridge. > Or so I’m told. I’m the same weight I was when I got married. 🙂 My Mother wore her wedding suit on her 50 wedding anniversary. The only times up until the day she died that she could not wear it were the 8 times she was pregnant. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/46 "2014-08-10T20:48:16Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > My Mother wore her wedding suit on her 50 wedding anniversary. > > The only times up until the day she died that she could not wear it were the 8 times she was pregnant. 😃 My 70-year-old mom is still pretty close to the same size she’s always been. Both of my younger sisters outweigh her by a large margin. Mom had three kids, the older of my sisters has two, and my youngest sister has had none. Both sisters were quite slender when they were younger. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/47 "2014-08-11T20:16:27Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > My Mother wore her wedding suit on her 50 wedding anniversary. My Mom wore her birthday suit. The nursing home staff were not pleased… [sub]The above is a lie, it did not happen. Would have been funny though, assuming I didn’t see it.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/48 "2014-08-11T20:35:01Z")
It would be a sad commentary if any of us in our forties were no different than we were in our twenties. Of course everyone changes. Your best hope is to look for somebody who seems like they really get that. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/49 "2014-08-11T20:48:35Z")
I don’t think the thread is about people who change as they get older. It’s about people who drastically change within a short time after getting married. For example, I know three women who went from rather attractive to well into obese within about 4 years, because they gained an excessive amount of baby weight and didn’t lose it after. Frankly, I feel sorry for their husbands. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2014, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/50 "2014-08-11T20:52:02Z")
Yeah, you’re right. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2014, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005/51 "2014-08-12T07:44:01Z")
Marriage is hardly a prerequisite. I knew a 30-32 year old woman who was going through the office - while on her third marriage. I left that job and moved on - ran into her on the street (chilly day) and she immediately whips open her coat to reveal the “thin” version. Having passed on my chance at her (I don’t do marrieds - I’m nobody’s side dish), I was free to comment: “So, back on the market again?”. She didn’t much like that. Turned out to be true. Knew another woman who, at 18, was probably hot stuff. Her “boyfriend” dumped his first wife when she got “too old/fat/whatever” and hooked up with her. She turned 30 and put on 20 pounds. You’ll never guess what he did - he found another 18 year old bimbo. Poor Lynda didn’t take kindly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-bait-and-switch/695005.md?page=2)