# MARRIED BY AMERICA??? The institution of marriage is dead! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 3, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750 "2003-03-03T14:28:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/21 "2003-03-03T22:13:40Z")
On this show, would it be possible to hook up two women (or two men)? That would be _immensely_ amusing. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/22 "2003-03-03T22:29:34Z")
So I’m curious about the tone of the thread here. Ok, yeah, it could be “dissin’” the “institution of marriage” here to have it made by complete strangers watching a tv show. (but hey, we can’t just let gay people marry, that would devalue it, but Vegas is ok…and so are common-law marriages. Hmm, to that I would say “fuck you”. Let the GLBTs marry as they please.) But arranged marriages really aren’t anything new. In fact, haven’t they been around longer than marrying whom one pleases? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/23 "2003-03-03T23:47:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spooje \* > Because it’s done for the entertainment of the idiot masses. Decided by people who have no care for or no ties to the betrothed, and may want to fuck them up just to see what happens. Actually, I’ve been trying to get a bunch of people to watch and all vote for the worst match… How did you know? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/24 "2003-03-03T23:54:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spooje \* > Because it’s done for the entertainment of the idiot masses. Decided by people who have no care for or no ties to the betrothed, and may want to fuck them up just to see what happens. Actually, I’ve been trying to get a bunch of people to watch and all vote for the worst match… How did you know? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/25 "2003-03-04T00:20:42Z")
[I agree with the OP](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=164111) ---
**Author:** ![NotWithoutRage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NotWithoutRage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotWithoutRage)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/26 "2003-03-04T03:27:38Z")
That being said, I though the show was kind of entertaining. In a very look at the freaks sort of way. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/27 "2003-03-04T07:11:57Z")
Sorry **Jack**. I’m not very observant. Especailly when I’m in the grip of moral indignation. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/28 "2003-03-04T12:19:32Z")
I understand. I just feel strongly about this travesty too, so I was ringing my own gong a little. ---
**Author:** ![Alereon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alereon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alereon)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/29 "2003-03-04T12:20:40Z")
And they cancelled Boston Public for it! Murderous rage… ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/30 "2003-03-04T18:00:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FDISK \* > **And they cancelled Boston Public for it!** Actually, that’s the only good thing about that stinking show. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/31 "2003-03-04T18:39:12Z")
Shows I have never watched: MTV’s_The Real World_ MTV’s_Road Rules Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire Survivor The Mole The Bachelor The Bachelorette_ The one where the potential mate has to meet the parents _Joe Millionaire Married by America_ I’m a better person than all of you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/32 "2003-03-04T18:46:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Or perhaps, since we can’t get married and destroy the institution directly, it’s really 'Mos who are making all these shows, starting with Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire, in an effort to undermine the whole thing covertly. Three weeks and the petition link’s in your inbox. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/33 "2003-03-05T00:46:13Z")
It’s a statistical fact[sup]\*[/sup] that fully one half of all reality shows end in divorce. [sub][sup]\*[/sup]It probably isn’t, but what the hell.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/34 "2003-03-05T00:54:37Z")
> [@](#): > > From the OP’s link: > Executive producer Ted Haimes says arranged marriages are only foreign to Americans. He says, “In different parts of the world, in Japan and India, people get together in marriages. They’ve been put together by their family and friends and it actually turns out that they’re happy.” Dear God. Arranged marriages are _only_ foreign to Americans? What planet’s this asshole from? And when your family and friends pick a bride/groom for you, at least they know you, and arguably act in your best interests (not that I agree to the notion of arranged marriages). This is a step _below_ that: having complete morons decide who your partner-for-life is going to be. Disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/35 "2003-03-05T04:16:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \* > \*\*Shows I have never watched: > > MTV’s_The Real World_ > MTV’s_Road Rules > Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire > Survivor > The Mole > The Bachelor > The Bachelorette_ > The one where the potential mate has to meet the parents > _Joe Millionaire > Married by America_ > > I’m a better person than all of you. 😃 \*\* I don’t watch television at all! Nyeh! 😛 Well, 'cept Spongebob Squarepants… ---
**Author:** ![Philosophocles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Philosophocles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philosophocles)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/36 "2003-03-05T07:10:23Z")
Sure, Fox is sleazy, but is it any more sleazy than some primitive tribal herder who exchanges his daughter for livestock? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/37 "2003-03-05T10:16:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\* > And when your family and friends pick a bride/groom for you, at least they know you, and arguably act in your best interests (not that I agree to the notion of arranged marriages). This is a step _below_ that: having complete morons decide who your partner-for-life is going to be. > > Disgusting. \*\* Actually, we used to have arranged marriages here, many moons ago. Usually, a trade of cows was involved. That’s STILL a step up from this crap. The sad thing? There are more and more ‘reality’ shows on the way. Once network execs get a truly bad idea they tend to run with it. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/38 "2003-03-05T10:17:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Philosophocles \* > \*\*Sure, Fox is sleazy, but is it any more sleazy than some primitive tribal herder who exchanges his daughter for livestock? \*\* Don’t be so sure your geart grandparents weren’t hooked up that way. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/39 "2003-03-05T12:35:56Z")
[quote"In different parts of the world, in Japan and India, people get together in marriages. They’ve been put together by their family and friends and it actually turns out that they’re happy." [/quote] Speaking for Japan, anyway, they’re not arranged marriages so much as blind dates set up by the parents. The couples meet each other, date for a while, and decide for themselves whether or not they’re compatible enough to get hitched. The only difference is that the ‘meet the parents and get their approval’ is done by the first date. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750/40 "2003-03-05T13:11:01Z")
For that matter arranged marriages **do** happen in the United States. I have a Korean-American friend (female) who’s sister was placed in one. It didn’t last. And my pal fled Cleveland to escape another one. She’s currently developing a dot-com business from an ‘undisclosed location’. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-by-america-the-institution-of-marriage-is-dead/158750.md?page=3)