# Married Dopers: Do you have a "back up plan?"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-a-back-up-plan/527554>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [February 3, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-a-back-up-plan/527554 "2010-02-03T17:54:08Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 43

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**Author:** ![MitzeKatze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@MitzeKatze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MitzeKatze)\
**Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-a-back-up-plan/527554/43 "2010-02-03T22:25:33Z")

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> [@jsgoddess](#):
>
> I’m guessing that the majority of divorced people said the same thing at some point in their marriages.

You know, I am not really so sure of that. My first marriage I had all kinds of “just in case” plans in mind, and what I would do and wouldn’t do in the event of divorce and made sure that all “my” stuff was separate and accessible only to me even though I truly loved my husband…and we ended up divorced. Had you asked me at the time I would probably have said something like, “I don’t plan to divorce, but you never know what might happen” and it kept it as a possibility at the back of my mind any time things weren’t going just how I wanted them to be. All of the planning and preparing made it very easy to divorce, otherwise I might have worked more on the marriage itself.

This time I threw caution to the wind so to speak, never considered the possibility of divorce and it is a laughable suggestion to both me and my husband, still going strong more than 10 years later.

I know that anecdotes are not data but I do wonder how much of divorce is a self-fulfilling prophecy for those who over-think it and plan a bit too much, if you know what I mean.

> [@breaking-reality](#):
>
> Then again, I’ve always had savings and a solid grip on my finances.

I think this is the key both within a marriage and the dissolution of one.

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