# Married Dopers- Do you have "imaginary" celebrity boyfriends/ girlfriends? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 8, 2007, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105 "2007-03-08T15:28:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/21 "2007-03-08T18:42:57Z")
My celebrity “list” is a mixture of actors, singers, athletes, and, uh, CEO’s. Here they are, in order of how I’d do them if they all appeared on my doorstep: **Patrick Rafter** (retired Aussie tennis player) **Matthew Fox** (currently Jack on “Lost”; he’s been on the list since _Party of Five_) **Eric Dane** (aka McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy) **Marat Safin** (Russian tennis player) **Steve Perry** (former lead singer of Journey) **Barry Gibb** (of the Brothers Gibb) **Bjorn Borg** (retired Swedish tennis player) **Steve Jobs** (he founded Apple computers) **Don Henley** (of the Eagles) **Mark Wahlberg** (most recently of “The Departed”) Oddly, Scarlett Johannson isn’t on my list. If I had to choose someone of the same sex, it’d probably be Charlize Theron or Juliette Binoche. ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/22 "2007-03-08T19:09:21Z")
My secret girlfriends are Reese Witherspoon, Lacey Chabert, and Zooey Deschanel. My wife likes Jake Gyllenhaal and Viggo Mortensen. She only gets annoyed with me when I lust after a woman that she doesn’t think is good looking: “If you think that dog is hot, what does that say about me?” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/23 "2007-03-08T19:11:07Z")
**Birdman** and I have an ever-morphing list of “boyfriends” and “girlfriends” Me: Alton Brown (especially with his new beardy look, rawr!) Mike Rowe David Tennant (as The Doctor, not Barty Crouch Jr.) Seth Green Him: Scarlet Johansan Our hostess at Red Robin last night with the little button nose Allyson Hannigan I also call Clive Owen his boyfriend. Every time he sees him on screen he’s all “Now that is a handsome man!” ---
**Author:** ![2pelo\_honey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/ecb155/32.png) [@2pelo\_honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2pelo_honey)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/24 "2007-03-08T19:20:52Z")
Anthony Bourdain…chef, writer, and host of No Reservations on the Travel Channel…and just soooooooooo funny, snarky, and cool…don’t know, I’m not normally one to get “celebrity crushes”. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/25 "2007-03-08T19:24:39Z")
I am single, but was “married” to newswoman Chris Jansing on a board I used to frequent. We honeymooned in Aruba during the Holloway murder case. Back home my duties consisted mostly of making cosmopolitans and rubbing Chris’ feet. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/26 "2007-03-08T19:39:46Z")
My wife knows I’m gaga for [Lauren Freeman](http://www.click2houston.com/newsteam/8032233/detail.html), one of our local anchors. She’s understanding about it, or at least will be until I scream out “Lauren” in the throes of passion. Heh, next to her picture the button says “Enlarge”. Ummm… they’re a little late. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/27 "2007-03-08T19:59:10Z")
My Hollywood boyfriend is currently Alan Tudyk. And yes, my husband knows this. ---
**Author:** ![Running\_In\_Place](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e56c9b/32.png) [@Running\_In\_Place](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Running_In_Place)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/28 "2007-03-08T20:15:44Z")
I _knew_ I would find Alton Brown somewhere in this thread. Anyway, just putting in **my** vote for Mr. Brown. I have no idea what Mr. Place has on his list…though I’d put money down on Samantha Brown (Travel Channel-“Passport to Europe”). We apparently like that last name. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![cruel\_butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@cruel\_butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cruel_butterfly)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/29 "2007-03-08T22:07:49Z")
For me: Viggo Mortensen Clive Owen Daniel Craig Goran Visnjic For my husband: any woman with long, skinny legs and a nice rack ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/30 "2007-03-08T22:19:30Z")
Currently single, but with my most recent ex, the “hopeless crush”/“free pass” list was thus: Mine: Zooey Deschanel Michelle Trachtenberg Elisha Cuthbert Alizée Alison Lohman Hers: George Clooney Johnny Depp Tom Cruise (hey, she can have him, he’d be more interested in me anyhow) Ethan Hawke Jude Law I tried to convince her to replace Tommy-boy with Pierce Brosnan, since if someone else is gonna be banging your girl it might as well be James Bond, but no go. If I ever run into her again, I’ll ask if I’d have had more success with Daniel Craig. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/31 "2007-03-08T22:24:11Z")
I like Tara Fitzgerald. Nice cheekbones, trace of buck teeth, small woman with husky voice. Yum. Also Hope Davis. I like unusual looks. In the realm of actresses everyone thinks is beautiful, I’d say Penelope Cruz is about the hottest thing going. Wifey likes Johnny Depp. She also likes Viggo Mortensen in LOTR, but not so much when he cleans up. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/32 "2007-03-08T22:46:19Z")
[QUOTE=2pelo honey] Anthony Bourdain…chef, writer, and host of No Reservations on the Travel Channel…and just soooooooooo funny, snarky, and cool…don’t know, I’m not normally one to get “celebrity crushes”. 😕 [/QUOTE] I’d hit that. Mike Rowe Skwisgaar Skwigelf. He’s not real, but I’m about as likely to act on a crush IRL as I am with a cartoon character. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/33 "2007-03-08T23:02:41Z")
My no-consequences list: Antonio Banderas Denzel Washington Eddie Izzard Salma Hayek Mary Stuart Masterson Will Smith The WryGuy’s list: Isabella Rosselini Jamie Gertz Nicole Kidman Jada Pinkett Smith (it’s gonna be FUN when she and her husband come over for dinner!) ---
**Author:** ![Arabella\_Flynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@Arabella\_Flynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arabella_Flynn)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/34 "2007-03-08T23:20:41Z")
David Tennant. Actually, a couple of the Doctors – Peter Davison is the same age as my father, but he was really adorably blond back when I was, y’know, busy gestating. Johnny Depp Ewan McGregor. I could go on, but I’m probably embarrassing myself with the sheer dorkness already. I’m single, so I’d be relying more on their wives and girlfriends to have _me_ on the ‘no-consequences’ list than worrying about things over on my end… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/35 "2007-03-08T23:22:50Z")
We don’t have freebie lists (I don’t think either of us is the type to stray even for George Clooney), but Jim calls [Mike Holmes](http://www.holmesonhomes.com/), [Jake Gyllenhaal](http://img211.imageshack.us/my.php?image=jakegyllenhaalnude05sq5.jpg), and [Heath Ledger](http://img211.imageshack.us/my.php?image=heathledger01ro4.jpg) my boyfriends. I guess he doesn’t know about my appreciation for the hunk of man-beauty that is [Keanu Reeves](http://img232.imageshack.us/my.php?image=mediumkeanureevesrj8.jpg). Nigella Lawson is the only girlfriend of Jim’s that I know of; I’m sure he has more celebrity crushes, but he doesn’t talk about them much. (It’s so cute to see Jim blush when I say his girlfriend’s on tv. 😃 ) Nigella’s a good one; I think she’d get a lot of leeway with me if she’d cook for both of us. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/36 "2007-03-09T00:01:19Z")
Sure - we have the 12 hour rule. If anyone on the list came to the door, the other would gracefully disappear for 12 hours. No consequences, but no leaving/divorcing. Mr. Cake favors Salma Hayak, Ashley Judd (preferably together), or Minnie Driver. I lean toward Ciaran Hinds, Paul McGann and Hugo Weaving. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/37 "2007-03-09T00:17:04Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] Ivylad has a free pass should Morgan Fairchild ever cast a longing glance his way, and he has an unexplainable crush on Jessica Simpson. Quite frankly, I think she’s too stupid for color TV, but hey, if the opportunity arises… Alton Brown is on my list. I like smart funny guys. [/QUOTE] On first read I thought that said **Morgan Freeman**! :smack: Whenever I see Marisa Tomei on TV and my wife is around, I like to go into full Costanza mode. “I wonder if she’d go out with me. She likes quirky bald men…” ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/38 "2007-03-09T00:48:15Z")
[QUOTE=FordPrefect] We do too. Scarlett Johansson is fair game for both. So is **Claudia Black.** Mrs. Prefect is more character driven in her lusts for man flesh, so the Farscape version of **Ben Browder** has her audibly calling him gorgeous as we watch the show 🙂 [/QUOTE] (Bolding mine) Either you’re me and my husband, or we have twins out there;). We both have a thing for Claudia Black (my thing first on Farscape, he fell for her on Stargate SG1). We both also have a crush on Lauren Graham, and I have a big ol’ crush on Kenneth from 30 Rock. E. ---
**Author:** ![Jammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@Jammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jammer)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/39 "2007-03-09T01:21:27Z")
My wife and I both get a free pass with Angelina Jolie. I hope we can work that one out some day. 🙂 I’m not sure who else is on her current list, but I do know she didn’t let me put the neighbor’s wife nor the hot bartender from the Coyote Ugly in Charlotte on my list. I guess they aren’t famous enough. 😛 Jammer ---
**Author:** ![Boggette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105/40 "2007-03-09T02:00:22Z")
The Bog and I have a deal. I get James Marsters and Sam Elliott. He’d like Kelly LeBrock [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-have-imaginary-celebrity-boyfriends-girlfriends/395105.md?page=3)