# Married Dopers: Do you think you would remarry?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [March 21, 2007, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861 "2007-03-21T14:21:03Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2007, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/41 "2007-03-21T23:13:26Z")
[QUOTE=delphica]
One of the ways I knew Mr. Del was The One was because he didn’t make me feel good about being a couple, he makes me feel good about being myself.
[/QUOTE]
This is sweet, and something to aspire to in any relationship.
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### Author:  [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2007, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/42 "2007-03-21T23:54:36Z")
Pretty sure that I would remarry…even though I’m in my 60’s. Of course trying to get the right person (needs to have very poor sight 🙂 ,and the right balance of freedom vs responsibilities might make this impossible.
I’ve benefited greatly over the past 43 years, and I think my wife has too…teamwork…
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### Author:  [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)
#### Post date: [March 21, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/43 "2007-03-21T23:56:00Z")
I think not. My marriage has been pretty difficult, and I have completely lost confidence in my ability to judge the character of others and determine who would be a good fit for me.
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### Author:  [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/44 "2007-03-22T00:34:48Z")
Yes. I’m good at married.
But I am almost intolerably spoiled, so I’d have to search long and hard to find a man who could 1) tolerate me and 2) indulge me. \*\* Drachillix\*\* has long done both.
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### Author:  [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/45 "2007-03-22T02:27:20Z")
I know you only wanted responses from married people, but things seem to be a bit lopsided in the voting, so as a divorced woman, let me say that even though my marriage was rocky and I quite possibly will have some trust issues to work out next time a relationship comes around, I would definitely get married again. In fact, I felt I was ready to get married again about a year after my divorce. Too bad I couldn’t find anyone to date, much less marry. In talking to the older women that I know, each and every one of them says she would not do it again (now, we’re talking women over 65) because they are tired of having to take care of ailing or elderly husbands, and don’t want to go through that loss again.
But I say, bring it on…I want to have someone to take care of, and to do things for. This single business sucks. I want to be responsible, and to have someone worry about me, and to care when I walk in the door.
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### Author:  [@Sam\_I\_Am](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_I_Am)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/46 "2007-03-22T03:08:50Z")
I used to think not, because I am very introverted, and as such I often find it hard to always have someone around.
Lately, I think yes. I have always valued the connection I have with my husband, but lately I am seeing even more just how much our relationship gives me strength, and buffers me against the crap we wade through in life. He’s been out working (a conference) for a 17-hour day today; I am exhusted from dealing with the kiddo and a migraine alone all day, but I am waiting up for him simply because I want a hug and an “I love you” before we both pass out. It’s what makes the struggle of the day worthwhile.
I think what we have is pretty special, though, and I’m honestly not sure whether I would find it again.
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### Author:  [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/47 "2007-03-22T03:31:44Z")
Probably not, as it’s taken us the first nine years just to knock marriage into a shape that Mr. Wild and I are comfortable with, and I’m not at all sure that I’d find someone else who wanted what we have now, and who was also the marrying kind. And I wasn’t the marrying kind in the first place, it just worked out that way.
I would, however, want a valet. Probably a valet/driver. I’d like him to be something of a cross between Jeeves and Bunter. If I had a valet/driver I could live further out and afford a bigger place and we could probably even fit a lady’s maid into the staff. Then I’d have people to do for me, and people I was responsible for, without the other things. 😃
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### Author:  [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/48 "2007-03-22T04:39:48Z")
I definitely would. I’m not sure what people are talking about here when they say how hard marriage is…for me it has made my life much easier to have a partner with the same goals as I have. We do things for each other all the time and rarely fight. I love being married. I would do the same thing next time as I did this time, though, and live with the potential husband for at least a year before tying the knot.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/49 "2007-03-22T05:14:40Z")
I think I would probably re-marry. Which is kind of funny based on my personality - like **Anaamika** , I don’t care much about the rest of the world, and like **Autumn Almanac** , I am a very solitary person who makes an exception for my husband. I like being married to him; I can barely tolerate most people for more than a couple of hours, but him I like having around all the time. Falling into our married routine seemed easy for us; if I could find this kind of compatibility again, I can see marrying again. I wouldn’t get married just to be married, though.
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### Author:  [@Mrs\_Johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Johnson)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/50 "2007-03-22T06:13:18Z")
We’re not married yet, but Mr J and I had this conversation just a few days ago. Like a few others have said, I don’t think I could find \*this \*again. However, if Mr J passes away and I do find another relationship worthy of spending the rest of my life with, I certainly wouldn’t pass it up.
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### Author:  [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/51 "2007-03-22T06:28:13Z")
> [@Renee](#):
>
> I’m not sure what people are talking about here when they say how hard marriage is…for me it has made my life much easier to have a partner with the same goals as I have. We do things for each other all the time and rarely fight. I love being married.
Are you me? I feel exactly the same way. Yes, marriage takes some work. But certainly not as much work as being single does (especially with kids!) In so many ways, he makes my life easier. I make his life easier. We’re happy. The hard part, I’d think, is finding someone else I could be so comfortable with.
Also, I have _way_ more health issues than he does, so it’s realistic to think that he’s the one who will have to make this kind of decision, moreso than me.
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### Author:  [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/52 "2007-03-22T10:37:16Z")
My wife made me swear that if - God forbid - something happened to her, I 'm to remarry as soon as is respectable. She says that I shouldn’t be alone, that I thrive in marriage, and that I need someone to look after me and our son. I tend to agree with her.
I also suspect (although she won’t admit to it) that she had her best friend swear to marry me, if needed, and if she’s available. Which is a bit weird, although I \*do \* like her best friend a lot.
Not that that would be neccessary. Most widowers I’ve known had to beat off scores of marriage-minded women with a stick. For some reason, they’re considered a valuable commodity.
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/53 "2007-03-22T10:45:42Z")
[QUOTE=Renee]
I definitely would. I’m not sure what people are talking about here when they say how hard marriage is…for me it has made my life much easier to have a partner with the same goals as I have. We do things for each other all the time and rarely fight. I love being married. I would do the same thing next time as I did this time, though, and live with the potential husband for at least a year before tying the knot.
[/QUOTE]
I’d remarry too, for the same reasons - assuming I found the right guy. My husband is my best friend, and though we have had to do some work, it’s not the struggle that others have mentioned. In fact, I find that everything else far outweighs any effort/compromise, etc., and it’s a wonderful feeling to know that I have someone who “has my back,” who’ll be there for me and supports and loves me. It’s always a wonderful feeling to come home to him. I hope I’ll never have to make this decision, but if it happens, I think I’ll feel the same way.
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### Author:  [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/54 "2007-03-22T10:59:18Z")
If my wife passed away then I would consider remarrying (if the right person came along etc). In other words, I have no objection in principle in such a case.
If we were to get divorced I don’t think I’d remarry… it’d feel odd saying the whole “till death us do part” vows for the second time while she was still around.
I sometimes introduce my SO as “my first wife”… just to keep her on her toes. 😉
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### Author:  [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/55 "2007-03-22T14:54:05Z")
I’m not married, but I might as well be.
I’m still pretty young - 24. It’s an awful thought to contemplate, and I also feel like the thought of adjusting to someone else seems like an almost impossible effort, and I’m sure I wouldn’t be interested for a while, but, yes, I think I eventually would want to find someone else. I’m in the companionship crowd - I LIKE being in a relationship.
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### Author:  [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/56 "2007-03-22T19:39:54Z")
I would hope to find someone I would love as much as my husband even though it seems impossible and daunting to think about starting over again. But I would keep myself open to that possibility. Life is a lot of work and it’s nice to have someone to share everything with, physical and emotional stuff, and also raising kids is tough by yourself. A bad relationship is worse than none, but a good relationship is the best of all, IMO. I would keep searching for that.
I would want my husband to remarry too if he found someone he loved and who loved our kid(s).
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### Author:  [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)
#### Post date: [March 22, 2007, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/57 "2007-03-22T19:40:37Z")
I’m in love with my husband and I hope he outlives me. If he dies first, I don’t think I’d re-marry. But you never can tell. I can think of two men who’d marry me tomorrow if I were free.
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### Author:  [@gfloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gfloyd)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2007, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/58 "2007-03-23T01:58:29Z")
I’m getting married soon, and I think I would, as I hate being alone. Although it’s funny, I never thought I’d get married until I met him, but now I can’t think of not being married in the future. Granted, before him, I had sworn of men, too, so take that for what it’s worth.
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2007, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-do-you-think-you-would-remarry/396861/59 "2007-03-23T02:02:21Z")
I wouldn’t. Hell, it took me 49 years to find her. I somehow doubt that should something happen, I would find another even close to her before I croaked.
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