# Married Dopers: either you or your spouse may be restored to your physical prime. Pick one. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 11, 2014, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569 "2014-06-11T21:08:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/41 "2014-06-13T12:06:48Z")
My fiancee is in incredible physical shape. She’s in her late 30s and has the body, constitution and stamina of a woman of maybe 21 years old. Don’t ask me how; she doesn’t exercise that much. Her health is perfect. She has literally not one single condition of any concern, not even hay fever. Honestly, the only thing physically “Wrong” with her is her hair is greying, which can be fixed at a salon. She’s already had some sort of divine gift, or a deal with the devil, I don’t know. She’s in impossibly good shape. (Why she’s with ME… well, even my own parents have asked what the hell she’s doing with me.) I’m not even close to what I was - better than a few years ago but not in the shape I was at 20. I also have the wear and tear on my joints one would expect from a guy who carried too much weight and played a lot of baseball - the right knee is creaky, my throwing shoulder is in bad shape. I have some early signs of carpal tunnel, and I am sure my heart is not as healthy as it could be. I’m also four and a half years older. So it makes sense for me to take it. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/42 "2014-06-13T13:10:42Z")
It’s all for me, me, me! My health is terrible and my daughter will need care from me throughout her adult life. My GF’s health is OK, she’s five years younger than me and she’s not my daughter’s caregiver. No contest. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/43 "2014-06-13T19:10:45Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > **kaylasmom** is blind from birth, due to retinopathy of prematurity. Does this problem get reversed? The nectar won’t restore what your wife never had. But you’re dealing with Athena, not Odin. I’m sure She’d agree to give your wife sight instead–unless… > [@](#): > > I’m not sure her brain would be prepared to process information from her optic nerves. Me either. But again, since Athena isn’t a malevolent genie or a pretend-benevolent sky god, you might as well ask; if it’s a bad idea, She’ll tell ya. > [@Not\_Carlson](#): > > Hmm. Tricky. > Looks like my wife is planning to leave me, so I wouldn’t be able to taste the fruit of her rejuvenation, as it were. > On the other hand, my own prime was never much to boast about, and in some ways I think I’m in better condition now than I’ve been for much of my life. > > I think I’ll ask the goddess to restore my wife to her prepartum condition. After giving birth to three kids, I figure she deserves it. > > . . . Wait, you say the nectar is made from babies’ blood!? > FORGET THAT SHIT! > You’re sick, Athena! Practical but SICK! > I’m outta here! (Please don’t set your dogs on me.) Athena didn’t make the nectar and refuses to make any more. She just didn’t destroy it when she took over, as that would have helped no one. Why are you blaming her for what _Zeus_ did? ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/44 "2014-06-13T20:54:12Z")
Different boon or pass. The blood of newborn babies bit … Neither I or my wife would want to benefit from that even though passing would not undo the damage done. I’m pretty much with **Not Carlson** on this albeit I understand that Athena was not culpable and understand Athena’s position of that the damage is done and tossing it does not undo it. Still. Another boon if you please or if not well your thanks is enough, I did not do it for the boon and know that serving you Athena will never do me wrong. If forced to choose, my wife, so long as it does not recreate past health issues she has now gotten past. While she is in good shape (and lookin’ fine I must say) her joints are starting to act up and it is pretty probable that another 5 years and beyond will be bringing on some increased aches and pains. Me, as bragging as this may sound, I am actually in about as good of condition as I’ve ever been, pretty dang fit, and expect to age well and live long. I don’t want, or feel I need, any cheats to having dodged the family destinies of early heart disease and diabetes by having kept up with a healthy lifestyle and want to see if I got that one great grandpa’s genes at all (who lived to 106 pretty healthy up to close to the end). So yeah no thank you but appreciate the offer. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/45 "2014-06-13T21:15:54Z")
Complicated. We are both in our early '50’s, but I got good genes and the women in my family generally live well into their 90’s in good health. I’m still in good health but I look my age. My husband has had a much rougher time physically and emotionally with the aging process, so I would offer it to him if he wanted it. If he refused, I would give it back with thanks to Athena for the offer. If he took it, I doubt our marriage would survive - I would not feel good looking like his mother and would not want to inflict my aging self on his hot young self for very long. He’d soon have all those 25-year-old thoughts about younger women and I’m not inclined to hang around knowing that he might still love me, but would almost certainly lose physical interest in me pretty quickly. Not trying to make him sound shallow because he certainly isn’t - my own insecurities in that situation would drive me away before he had a chance to make a decision. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/46 "2014-06-13T21:26:51Z")
If you made my wife 20 years younger, I don’t think anyone would be able to tell. Me on the other hand, chronic pain and losing my marbles… How about I delegate the choice to her, and let’s see what she says. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/47 "2014-06-13T21:26:57Z")
No babies’ blood for us thank you, next boon please! Now to answer the question I thought was posed when I clicked on the thread, the “no one was harmed in the making of this potion” youth giving nectar goes to my husband. We’re both about to turn 45, but he has had two heart attacks and I haven’t had any. Even before the heart attacks he’s always had a premonition of his early death. Not to sound braggy, but it has been suggested that I have already made some sort of deal with the supernatural. I don’t look as good as I did at 25, but I sure don’t look 45. I’m healthy and come from long-lived stock and fully expect to live so long that it will be a problem how long I am living. I’ll need him around and strong and earning just to bankroll all these years stretching out ahead of me. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/48 "2014-06-13T21:29:29Z")
> [@carlotta](#): > > No babies’ blood for us thank you, next boon please! > > Now to answer the question I thought was posed when I clicked on the thread, the “no one was harmed in the making of this potion” youth giving nectar goes to my husband. The problem with that stipulation, of course, is that it brings up the question “Why doesn’t Athena make another dose?” ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/49 "2014-06-13T21:41:14Z")
I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t redefine the hypothetical to suit my own preferences and answer the question I wanted to be asked. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/50 "2014-06-13T21:52:04Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > > [@Namkcalb](#): > > > > As for my partner, I love her, but she takes way too many gambles with her safety to consider 120 a given. Besides she is under 25 so I doubt she’d appreciate me giving her a few more wrinkles overnight. > > Now that is something that I did not consider…can I change my vote? 😃 Couldn’t you just look both ways when crossing the road like everybody else?? ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/51 "2014-06-13T21:54:20Z")
Presuming that it’s just in a vial or whatever, why not save it and it goes to whoever lives longer. (I.e., “Take it when I die, if I die first, and have a second life.”) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2014, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/52 "2014-06-13T21:57:56Z")
I’d give it to my wife. She’s falling apart a lot more rapidly than I am. ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/53 "2014-06-14T03:26:53Z")
I read this to my wife and we arrived at the same answer, which was “give it to my spouse”. We then realized we’d be at an impasse, as neither of us would be willing to take it at the others expense. So I picked “ask for a different boon”. Edited to add: I thought of another option: I would see if I could give it to my niece, who is 8 years old and has palsy. Then she would have a normal life, be able to walk, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/54 "2014-06-14T03:34:27Z")
> [@carlotta](#): > > I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t redefine the hypothetical to suit my own preferences and answer the question I wanted to be asked. Right, but suppose you found yourself in a world where you couldn’t redefine the hypothetical, would you refuse the nectar just to kill yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/55 "2014-06-14T04:56:48Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I take it that you’re in your early 30s at most, since you see the boon as only a few years of aging. Am I right? Also, you’re not being offered a simple reversion, but additionally a cessation of further aging for the rest of your life. Yeah, I get that, but I’m not 30 yet, and there are so many better boons to be had. I mean, I’ll take it if it’s all I can get, but otherwise, I want some sort of omniscience or wealth or something. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/56 "2014-06-14T05:23:57Z")
I will take the nectar for myself. Some people already refer to my partner as “Dorian Gray,” since he hasn’t appeared to have aged much since we met. Plus, he’s 20 actual years younger than I am. I, on the other hand have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, plus other assorted problems. And I’ve already had open-heart surgery. I look forward to being a physically-fit 25-year-old. And I look forward to being the younger guy in this relationship, for a change. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/57 "2014-06-14T12:13:02Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Right, but suppose you found yourself in a world where you couldn’t redefine the hypothetical, would you refuse the nectar just to kill yourself? We would both refuse the nectar because babies’s blood! We’d just be right where we are now with the possibility of some other goddess given gift. Though I picture a scene in some sort of Olympus package pickup where a minion is looking into a closet saying, “No babies’s blood huh? mmm. hmmm” “no…no…no…” " how about this sandwich? It’s made from thin-sliced, locally sourced unicorn" ---
**Author:** ![Not\_Carlson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc79bd/32.png) [@Not\_Carlson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_Carlson)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/58 "2014-06-16T15:45:22Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Athena didn’t make the nectar and refuses to make any more. She just didn’t destroy it when she took over, as that would have helped no one. Why are you blaming her for what _Zeus_ did? I’m not blaming hypothetical Athena for what hypothetical Zeus did. But hypothetical me would have a very visceral reaction to being offered a snort of babies’ blood. And so I understand \*\*carlotta’s \*\*desire to redefine the hypothetical and focus only on the quandary of who gets the magic elixir, without adding an extra layer of moral dilemma. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > The problem with that stipulation, of course, is that it brings up the question “Why doesn’t Athena make another dose?” And now I see why you added that detail. Still, I think it kind of complicates the hypothetical with a bunch of other moral/ethical issues. Interestingly, this (off-topic) dilemma is paralleled in real life by the controversy surrounding embryonic stem cell research. Although it’s not such a hot topic now, when that debate was raging, although I could appreciate both sides, I actually thought, “well, better to use the embryonic tissue for research that could heal people in need than to waste it.” So, my gut reaction to Athena’s offer is not only blasphemous, but also rather hypocritical. Guess I’m dog chow, right along with Actaeon (and without even catching a glimpse of divine boobage). Anyway, to take a page from carlotta’s book, I choose to imagine that the secret ingredient of the magic elixir is something super rare but not repugnant, and the goddess can’t make any more because, . . . shoot, I don’t know, . . . she lost the recipe book? New improved baby-free diet nectar goes to my wife. PS. Now my screen ads are prompting me to “Get Athena Pheromones!” ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2014, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/59 "2014-06-16T15:57:11Z")
My first thought was that my wife is pregnant, and “restored to the prime of her life” might include miscarrying the child, so that’s a no-go. In that case I’d ask for something else from the storehouse. If it was the case that she’d be in excellent health and the baby would come along fine, then she gets it. She has a lot harder time staying in shape than I do so it would put us on even footing for quite a while. ---
**Author:** ![Neo-Calredic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/96bed5/32.png) [@Neo-Calredic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neo-Calredic)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569/60 "2014-06-16T16:49:24Z")
I’m 37 and my wife is 26, so it would make sense for me to take it. It wouldn’t do much for her if it, in fact, returns the imbiber to age 25. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-either-you-or-your-spouse-may-be-restored-to-your-physical-prime-pick-one/690569.md?page=4)