# Married Dopers - how long did you know your spouse before marriage? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2016, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108 "2016-12-07T13:57:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/1 "2016-12-07T13:57:45Z")
In the arranged marriage thread in GQ I mentioned that I knew my wife less than 10 months before we were married. In fact, I proposed to her about two months after our first face-to-face meeting. We recently celebrated our 16th anniversary. I know such a brief pre-marriage relationship is not unheard of, but I suspect it is an outlier. How long did you two know each other? And how long has the (or did the) marriage last? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/2 "2016-12-07T14:06:36Z")
Not married but: A set of great-grandparents, slightly over ten years but they hadn’t had contact at all during most of that time. Another, he’d been married to her older sister for eight years; he married sister #2 after being a widower for two years. So at least ten years (marriage, plus widowhood, plus the official courtship to sister #1). The official courtship to sister #1 had been a year, but they’d known each other vaguely for some five years before that. Those two sets were the paternal side. The two sets from the maternal side, both got married in less than a year. Paternal grandparents, about two years IIRC. Maternal grandparents, about the time it took him to realize she wasn’t letting him pull her panties down without a ring. Parents, 8 years. 1.brother, 7 years. 1. brother… over 30 years. They met when his age was in single digits and expect to get married next spring, with the groom aged 40. All of the above lasted until death made them part or still last. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/3 "2016-12-07T14:10:20Z")
I chose the second, but in fact, it was barely 6 1/2 months. Still going strong in the 53rd year. We met on a blind date. ---
**Author:** ![justanothermike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c2a13f/32.png) [@justanothermike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justanothermike)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/4 "2016-12-07T14:14:25Z")
4 months. Been married close to 17 years. ---
**Author:** ![DaphneBlack](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daphneblack/32/5389_2.png) [@DaphneBlack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaphneBlack)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/5 "2016-12-07T14:15:49Z")
I selected 5-10 years – it was 6 years (almost exactly) before we got married, 5 til engagement. But we started _dating_ pretty much immediately after we met. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/6 "2016-12-07T14:34:10Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > 1. brother… over 30 years. They met when his age was in single digits and expect to get married next spring, with the groom aged 40. That’s the kind of story that would make my wife swoon. She’d find it incredibly romantic. Sometimes I tease her that she would like some terrible misunderstanding or tragedy that separates us, just so she can enjoy a romantic reconciliation in 25 years. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/7 "2016-12-07T14:43:34Z")
Two years, two months, and 15 days. Approximately. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/8 "2016-12-07T14:45:26Z")
Had an on again off again relationship spanning 11 years. Got married. Been married going on 25 years next June. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/9 "2016-12-07T14:45:48Z")
We met in January of 1981, taking a creative writing class together. I didn’t pay much attention to her, since I was married, but she had something of a crush on me (because I was married, since that meant it would stay a crush from afar). By the end of the class in April, my first wife left me. That’s when I noticed her, since we both had a love of writing and science fiction in common. After the separation agreement, I asked her out. After the divorce came through, I asked her to marry me (say, April 1982). We married in August. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/10 "2016-12-07T15:04:42Z")
Just under a year. We met the Saturday after President Obama’s first inauguration. We’ve been married almost 7 years. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/11 "2016-12-07T15:05:20Z")
We ‘knew’ each other on an internet forum for perhaps five years before really starting to talk. Did a long distance thing for maybe 18 months before she moved here. Lived together for two years, going on ten years married. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/12 "2016-12-07T15:09:04Z")
Married at about the 7th month mark. About to celebrate 11 years. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/13 "2016-12-07T15:11:01Z")
We knew each other for awhile as friends before we started dating. After we started dating we were married about two years later. We’ll celebrate out 22nd anniversary this May. ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/14 "2016-12-07T15:27:09Z")
I met her 8.21 years ago, and we started dating. We became engaged 5 years ago and continued dating. We wed just 2 weeks ago. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/15 "2016-12-07T15:31:10Z")
We were together a bit over a decade, and finally he planned everything and told me all I ahd to do was pick out a dress and show up. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/16 "2016-12-07T15:45:47Z")
Talked marriage after twelve days. Proposed and moved in after four months. Married on the one-year anniversary of our third date. Currently married 7.5 years. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/17 "2016-12-07T15:48:56Z")
We met in January of 1984; we married in August of 1992. However…the meeting in '84 was a one-time thing (introduced by a friend of a friend); we didn’t see each other for another 5 1/2 years after that. 🙂 We met up again in July of '89, and started dating at the end of that year. We were pretty sure we would get married after about a year of dating, but it took another six months or so before we actually got engaged, and then another year from engagement to wedding. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/18 "2016-12-07T15:51:58Z")
About 5 years. It didn’t help. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/19 "2016-12-07T16:23:15Z")
6 years of dating and engagement. She was a high school junior when we met, we waited until she graduated college to tie the knot. We’re in our 28th year of marriage. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/20 "2016-12-07T16:39:56Z")
We met on Halloween, 1983 - it was the first night of the sailing class and he was the instructor. Our first date was November 12, 1983. We eloped December 9, 1983. So we knew each other just under 6 weeks. Friday will be our 33rd anniversary. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108.md?page=2)