# Married Dopers - how long did you know your spouse before marriage? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2016, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108 "2016-12-07T13:57:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/21 "2016-12-07T16:45:43Z")
Almost 10 years, but we had to wait for my divorce to get finalized. For reasons too complicated and painful to relate here, that took a \*long \*time. We did, however, begin to live together after a few years of dating. ---
**Author:** ![Totenfeier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Totenfeier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totenfeier)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/22 "2016-12-07T16:48:39Z")
Mrs. T and I were a New Year’s Eve blind date. Next Dec. 22 was our wedding day. 26 years in now. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/23 "2016-12-07T16:51:38Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > That’s the kind of story that would make my wife swoon. She’d find it incredibly romantic. Sometimes I tease her that she would like some terrible misunderstanding or tragedy that separates us, just so she can enjoy a romantic reconciliation in 25 years. I assume then she’s a big fan of the old BBC sitcom _As Time Goes By_? For me, lessee… Met in August when I started working at the same place she worked. Started dating a month later and were talking about marriage by the end of December. Moved in together the following August, married a bit under 2 years after that. Been married 13+ years now. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/24 "2016-12-07T16:58:12Z")
Ten years. There was no rush. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/25 "2016-12-07T17:27:35Z")
We were together for 28 years before we _could_ get married. Thank you, SCOTUS. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/26 "2016-12-07T17:36:21Z")
The wife and I “met” on a message board devoted to _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. We interacted for a few months, then she came out to visit. I proposed one year to the day later. We got married one year to the day after that. (Proper planning. This means I only have **1** date to remember!) Been married 12 years now. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/27 "2016-12-07T17:38:40Z")
Just under 6 months, been married over a dozen years now. Engagement to marriage was less than one month. Neither of us wanted a big to-do wedding and we didn’t see the point of waiting another 6 or 12 months. ---
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/28 "2016-12-07T18:12:59Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > How long did you two know each other? And how long has the (or did the) marriage last? Met in May, living together by September, engaged in December, married the next June. We would have done it in December but most of our family are educators and so we put it off until June so it would be after the school year. And she was engaged to someone else when we met. :eek: This year is the big 25. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/29 "2016-12-07T18:27:33Z")
42 years. ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/30 "2016-12-07T18:29:59Z")
Around the two decade mark. ---
**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/31 "2016-12-07T18:33:40Z")
Wedding day was 6 months and a day after meeting; 34th anniversary of meeting is in a few days. I wonder the statistical correlation with divorce, with the gigantic if, seldom realized in social studies, that you could control for correlated social demography. That is groups more likely to dump or stick with marriages in general might be more inclined to pull the trigger faster or slower. AFAIK from the internet, many or most modern Westerners are 100% convinced that long courtships, including living together unmarried, improve the odds on a marriage. This might be true holding all else equal, but all else almost never is. ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/32 "2016-12-07T19:16:08Z")
We lived in sin from the time I was 19 until we married when I was 24. Like **FCM** we celebrate our 33rd anniversary this year. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/33 "2016-12-07T19:34:14Z")
Lessee… about a year and a half between transferring to the high school where we met and when we began dating. 6-10 months later for the proposal, 3.5 years more before the wedding. Wedding was 16 years ago, 20 years total. ---
**Author:** ![DaphneBlack](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daphneblack/32/5389_2.png) [@DaphneBlack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaphneBlack)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/34 "2016-12-07T19:59:09Z")
I forgot the second half of the question! We got married in Oct 2014, still married. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/35 "2016-12-07T23:33:04Z")
Engaged exactly six months after we started dating, married a little less than a year after that. That was ten years ago, still married. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/36 "2016-12-07T23:41:52Z")
We knew each other for a good 5 yrs. But only were only friends for like 2 yrs. And only DATED for like 2 months before running off to vegas after a pitcher of margaritas. Going on 11yrs married now. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/37 "2016-12-07T23:48:13Z")
We met in December 1990, were engaged in September 1992, and married in May 1993. ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/38 "2016-12-08T00:04:18Z")
Knew each other just over 2 years before the wedding (27 months). Just celebrated 18th anniversary last week. My high school buddy had an obvious crush on a classmate that he had known since kindergarten, but they never dated then. At our 20-year reunion they came together and let me know they’d been married about 2 years after dating 2 years. Still together at the 30-year. So that’s what… met around age 5, started dating around 34, married around 36… 31 years. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/39 "2016-12-08T00:23:28Z")
More than 30 years. (What do I win?) We first met at college sometime in the fall of 1980. At the time she was with the man she would marry when they graduated two years later. She and I knew each other (it was a small school, and pretty much everyone knew everyone else), but we weren’t particularly close at the time. I was certainly attracted to her: she was one of the most beautiful women on campus, and almost all the guys (and some of the women) were attracted to her. But I would have considered her out of my league at the time. Her marriage lasted 13 years, as did another relationship after that. I saw her once in that period: I noticed in an alumni directory that she was living at a different address than her now ex-husband, and got in touch. We met once, very briefly, but I got the impression that she wasn’t interested in me, and apparently she got the same impression from me. (The story of my life!) In any case, she was still in the middle of the second relationship, and wouldn’t have been available even if I had made my intentions more clear. In 2009 that relationship was coming apart, and a mutual friend suggested we get in touch. We had our first date in October 2009, were engaged nine months after that, and married nine months after that. It was my first marriage. So we had known each other for 30.5 years when we tied the knot, although we had only been together as a romantic couple for 18 months at the time. But knowing each other as friends and having a shared college experience made getting reacquainted and developing a romantic relationship much easier and more natural for both of us than it would have been with other people. We’ve been blissfully married for more than 5.5 years now. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108/40 "2016-12-08T00:36:44Z")
Engaged after 3 months, married after 15 months, together a total of 21 years. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-how-long-did-you-know-your-spouse-before-marriage/774108.md?page=3)