# Married Dopers: if your partner suggested a three-way, would you be worried? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 2, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482 "2011-05-02T15:57:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![californiagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@californiagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/californiagirl)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/101 "2011-05-10T21:31:49Z")
wow, I’m surprised, i thought i was old fashioned and closed minded but i recently told my husband i will, he just has o find a woman we don’t know thats willing, not a friend, don’t want her around afterward! I guess it depends on your relationship and the fact i know he just wants to fulfill a lifelong fantasy ---
**Author:** ![californiagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@californiagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/californiagirl)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/102 "2011-05-10T21:34:37Z")
any other suggestions to keep it clean? ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2011, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/103 "2011-05-10T22:06:50Z")
Everybody should get tested beforehand. Deeply unsexy, but that’d be my biggest stipulation. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2011, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/104 "2011-05-10T23:35:06Z")
I’d jump at at, but it is extremely unlikely. I’ve participated in 3-ways before and enjoyed it, but then I was the third. My experience might have been different if I was part of the couple. I have done a fantasy with my wife about a particularly sexy friend of our and she was into the fantasy, but at this stage of our lives, it is never going to happen in real life. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/105 "2011-05-11T15:18:31Z")
> [@californiagirl](#): > > this is interesting to me because i am in a very good marriage, my husband is very devoted but I have always known his ultimate fantasy is a three way, I recently told him I will go for it if we can find someone unfamiliar to us with certain other restrictions, very similar to what you suggest. I don’t think we would do it regularly but i’m willing to try it and if it fulfills his fantasy I don’t see a problem, hes great and I trust him and I know he would never cheat. I say someone unfamiliar because I don’t want to have issues thinking a friend may still be walking around wanting him or something. So I say sure if your in a good relationship with lots of trust, why not try, you can always stop! Re-read the OP. It’s your husband asking you to participate in a three-way with another man. Does he have a fantasy about that you’re willing to try? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/106 "2011-05-17T01:10:24Z")
Inspired by this thread, I just asked the wife for a threesome with a second hot lady. She said: “I told you to stop asking me this.” ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/107 "2011-05-17T01:56:55Z")
But is that a “yes” or “no”? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/108 "2011-05-17T03:47:00Z")
Dunno. I’ll go ask again! ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/109 "2011-05-17T22:59:46Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Inspired by this thread, I just asked the wife for a threesome with a second hot lady. She said: “I told you to stop asking me this.” I’ve heard the following conversation recalled by more than one Farung: Fiancée: Sweetie, one of the fringe benefits of living in Thailand is that you can have a hot _mia noi_. A few years later… Husband: I’ve been thinking about that _mia noi_ … Wife: Let me tell you what we use for duck food in this country. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/110 "2011-05-17T23:06:57Z")
To it’s the Thai equivalent of “I just had the best blowjob of my life” “I just gave the last blowjob of my life”? ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfyre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shadowfyre/32/9972_2.png) [@Shadowfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfyre)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/111 "2011-05-18T15:54:36Z")
My wife and I have had threesomes before, all MFF and with the same girl. My wife is bi and is turned on by her friend. She’s pretty good looking and I am turned on by her as well. The friend is bi as well. My wife suggested the threesome to me and I jumped at it. I knew the friend had bi tendencies, but wasn’t gay. Therefore there was no worry that my wife would dump me for her friend. My wife suggested another friend that I outright declined. This friend is a lesbian and would have no interest in doing anything with me. Even worse, I felt that she had plans to get my wife to leave me for her. There has been talk about how you should finish with your partner in a threesome. My wife explicitly told me to always finish with her friend so that her friend would enjoy the experience more and want to do it again. And doing it with a friend isn’t so weird. In our case, it actually helped the friendships. We’re all much closer now than we were before we started hooking up. My wife and I have been married for over 12 years and we were together for almost 5 years before that. I am not, nor have I ever been concerned for our marriage. We’re in it for the long haul. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482/112 "2011-05-18T16:30:53Z")
Theoretically I _might_ be interested, but I’d be incredibly worried about who this imposter pretending to be my wife was. Her not being completely repulsed by the idea is inconceivable. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-partner-suggested-a-three-way-would-you-be-worried/580482.md?page=5)