# Married Dopers: if your spouse asked you to give up porn indefinitely/forever, would you agree? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 4, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837 "2011-07-04T19:06:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/1 "2011-07-04T19:06:37Z")
Suggested by a zombie thread I’m too lazy to link to. Poll in a moment; the results will be private. Before voting, note that I am using _married_ as shorthand for _involved in a committed, cohabiting, monogamous relationship intended to last indefinitely, regardless of government or imprimatur or the gender of the parties._ Now to reiterate: if your spouse asked you to give up porn forever, would you agree? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/2 "2011-07-04T19:19:44Z")
Missed the edit window while posting poll, so I’ll add this. If you’re bisexual and in a committed relationship with one other person, vote based on the sort of relationship. That is, if you’re a woman who likes lads & lasses both, but are married to a man, vote in the straight female category. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/3 "2011-07-04T19:48:31Z")
No, I would not. If I am quietly watching porn alone in my room, it’s none of their business. If they feel it reflects on them somehow, or they have the right to decide what I can/cannot do, or it means something about our, otherwise healthy sex life, then I’d tell them to seek therapy for their issues. Kiddie porn, different deal, I’ll admit. That would be a deal breaker for me. ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/4 "2011-07-04T19:58:01Z")
I’m not married, but I don’t think I could do it. I enjoy looking at naked people (adults), too much. I enjoy the voyerism of it and often don’t get much sexual pleasure from it. I don’t think I would be invovled with such a person, though. I’m very sexual and open about it with the men who court me. So, I don’t really think I would find myself in such a position. Yes, it’s unfair unmarried people don’t get a vote. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/5 "2011-07-04T19:58:13Z")
**elbows** , are you married? I ask because of the way you phrase your response. Describing your sposue as _they_ rather than _he_ or _she_ seems to indicate that you are speaking hypothetically. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/6 "2011-07-04T19:58:18Z")
Married female here. I rarely watch porn, or masterbate for that matter, so it probably wouldn’t be a big deal to me. And to clarify rarely I mean maybe once every couple of months. It’s not that I think porn is bad by any means. I am just not a very sexual person and don’t feel the need. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/7 "2011-07-04T20:14:22Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#): > > Yes, it’s unfair unmarried people don’t get a vote. I don’t see why. The question is not _Should a married person agree to forsake porn if his or her spouse requests?_ It’s _What would you do if your spouse asked you to give up porn?_ I don’t play video games. If someone started a poll on the superiority of Mortal Combat to Grand Theft Auto or vice versa, would it be reasonable for me to vote given that I know about either game but the name? ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/8 "2011-07-04T20:18:28Z")
It would have to be negotiated - however, in the appropriate situation I would love to give it up forever. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/9 "2011-07-04T20:21:19Z")
I’m not married, so my voice might not mean much here, but it seems to me odd that two people would get married in the first place without coming to an agreement on this at the start. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/10 "2011-07-04T22:53:47Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I’m not married, so my voice might not mean much here, but it seems to me odd that two people would get married in the first place without coming to an agreement on this at the start. Things can change after marriage. Behaviors that didn’t vex you much before the wedding can be more bothersome afterwards, because the situation is different in ways that are difficult to predict. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect people to be able to anticipate every emotional state that they might experience before embarking on a new enterprise. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/11 "2011-07-04T22:57:18Z")
Married straight female, no way in fuck would I give up porn, but my husband would never ask me to. If he did, I’d start inspecting him for signs of the Pod People. ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/12 "2011-07-04T23:05:16Z")
I voted _Married straight male: I might or might not agree, depending on circumstances._ I actually can’t imagine circumstances that would lead my lovely wife to make a bizarre request like this; but should they arise, I’d like to think I’d take them as seriously as she was. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/13 "2011-07-04T23:27:01Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t play video games. If someone started a poll on the superiority of Mortal Combat to Grand Theft Auto or vice versa, would it be reasonable for me to vote given that I know about either game but the name? Ah, but marriage is such a culturally entrenched concept that the vast majority of the population knows a great deal about it without having had to have been in one. The idea that someone would know nothing “but the name” is ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/14 "2011-07-04T23:36:43Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > Ah, but marriage is such a culturally entrenched concept that the vast majority of the population knows a great deal about it without having had to have been in one. The idea that someone would know nothing “but the name” is ridiculous. Oh, good grief. I do not believe someone who’s never been in a committed, cohabiting, monogamous relationship does not know what it is like. The experiences are not something you can acquire via osmosis. Please don’t misunderstand me; I don’t mind singles commenting in the thread. But to equate their speculations with the actual experience is as silly as saying that, just because I have a mother and three sisters who’ve had children, I know what it is like to be pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/15 "2011-07-04T23:43:04Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Oh, good grief. I do not believe someone who’s never been in a committed, cohabiting, monogamous relationship does not know what it is like. The experiences are not something you can acquire via osmosis. > > Please don’t misunderstand me; I don’t mind singles commenting in the thread. But to equate their speculations with the actual experience is as silly as saying that, just because I have a mother and three sisters who’ve had children, I know what it is like to be pregnant. And I agree. I just hate flawed analogies. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/16 "2011-07-04T23:53:54Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Oh, good grief. I do not believe someone who’s never been in a committed, cohabiting, monogamous relationship **does not know what it is like**. The experiences are not something you can acquire via osmosis. Of course, the bolded bit should read _know what it is like_. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/17 "2011-07-04T23:57:00Z")
I guess I’d give up porn if she asked me, but then how are we going to pay the bills? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/18 "2011-07-05T00:08:06Z")
My wife loathes porn. I sneak-peek on the Internet when she’s not around. Then again, we don’t see eye-to-eye on most things these days. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/19 "2011-07-05T01:25:15Z")
Porn bores me. This wouldn’t be a sacrifice. I can’t really see Mr. Panda bringing up the subject, though … ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837/20 "2011-07-05T03:24:36Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Please don’t misunderstand me; I don’t mind singles commenting in the thread. Well, in that case I’d never go along with a demand that I give up my porn. Or my book collection or my video games or reading the SDMB. I’m not interested in cooperating with such control-freakish demands, not from my hypothetical spouse and not from anyone else. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-dopers-if-your-spouse-asked-you-to-give-up-porn-indefinitely-forever-would-you-agree/587837.md?page=2)