# Married last name, keep maiden, hyphenate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 6, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884 "2004-03-06T19:54:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/1 "2004-03-06T19:54:30Z")
I’m curious as to what married dopers out there did with their last names when they tied the knot. Did you keep your names? Hyphenate? Pick a whole new one? Do tell! ---
**Author:** ![Martha\_Medea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@Martha\_Medea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martha_Medea)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/2 "2004-03-06T20:04:22Z")
I kept my name. I would never have dreamt of changing it. ---
**Author:** ![Cowgirl\_Jules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Cowgirl\_Jules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowgirl_Jules)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/3 "2004-03-06T20:33:56Z")
Last time, I changed it, and then changed it back when I got divorced. I never really felt comfortable in that name anyway. Next time, I will take his name and move my last name to be my middle name. Losing my last name was part of what I didn’t like about the name change the first time, and this way it will be easier to change my name professionally.This new name fits me much better too. No hyphenating for me. It feels too cumbersome, and at least this way my name will match some of my family. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/4 "2004-03-06T21:00:11Z")
My maiden name is now my middle name. So I’m Lucinda Maidenfair Marriedlady. If I want to be really fancy, I put my first middle name in too. Hyphenation would have looked pretty stupid with our names. ---
**Author:** ![Rocza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce7236/32.png) [@Rocza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocza)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/5 "2004-03-06T21:24:18Z")
I didn’t have a middle name so I just moved the maiden name to the middle name and took my husband’s last name as our last name. At the time, I was debating whether to keep my last name or not (and just not use his) but hyphenating was out of the question. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/6 "2004-03-06T21:36:34Z")
It would depend who had the cooler last name. If his last name is Humperdink, keep yours. Women have a rare opportunity to trade up for a potentially cooler name! ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/7 "2004-03-06T21:59:41Z")
Not married yet, but not planning to hyphenate, as that would make my last name six syllables long. Too unwieldy. Besides, my first name and my future husband’s last name appear to rhyme on paper. Definite goofy-cool factor.(Pronounced correctly, they don’t.) ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/8 "2004-03-06T22:08:23Z")
I did not change my name. Hubby thinks it’s great. (At 20 letters, hyphenating the last names would have been out of the question.) I have two married friends who also kept their names. One is on her third marriage (for keeps this time) and got tired of all the name switching. Their adopted daughter (who is biologically her niece) came to them with her own name but eventually took Mom’s name too. (When we go out to dinner with the second couple, we have four names to choose from to give at the host station! This doesn’t happen very often, though, as they live a thousand miles away.) Another friend went with First Maiden Married. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/9 "2004-03-06T22:13:29Z")
Hyphenate/doub-barrel is a huge problem, because it precludes the next generation taking your lead. The only solution which I’ve heard of which avoids all problems is one which I’ve (embarassingly) forgotten the origin of - girls take the mother’s name, and boys take the father’s. Sooo simple. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/10 "2004-03-06T22:58:14Z")
I took his last name, and haven’t regretted it. This might have something to do with the fact that my parents were not wonderful people, and his are. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/11 "2004-03-06T23:02:51Z")
I suppose it depends on how good your names sound together? Ours would have sounded rather elitist/Germanic (Vaughan-Simon), and wouldn’t have fitted on my credit cards. I will say that changing your name involves a whole hell of paperwork! As my husband and I are now separated, I’m not looking forward to that. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/12 "2004-03-06T23:18:36Z")
My parents hyphenated their last names, and there is no way I’m keeping a 13 character last name when I get married, unless my spouse’s name is even worse. That’d be a neat trick :D! ---
**Author:** ![DaisyFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@DaisyFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaisyFace)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/13 "2004-03-06T23:36:07Z")
I traded down from 10 letters to 6 by taking my husband’s name. It’s easier to pronounce (which ironically means that people spell it correctly less often). I don’t really use my maiden name at all since my middle name has a better inital (S instead of G) and is easier to sign things with. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/14 "2004-03-07T00:30:07Z")
> [@dangermom](#): > > My maiden name is now my middle name. So I’m Lucinda Maidenfair Marriedlady. If I want to be really fancy, I put my first middle name in too. Hyphenation would have looked pretty stupid with our names. That’s what I did. I had to drop one name (middle or maiden) on my driver’s license because ‘First Middle Maiden Married’ was two letters too long to fit. I dropped my middle name and use my maiden name as my middle name on legal stuff. I never thought about hyphenating because both my maiden and married names are eight letters long and are just a little unwieldy and both have a very distinict (and different) ethnicity. It had to be one or the other. If I would have been Smith-Jones or something simple, I probably would have hyphenated. Otherwise I would have ended up being something like (not my real name) MacNamara-Tribbiani. Just a bit much, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/15 "2004-03-07T01:01:31Z")
I’m surprised at how many people changed their maiden names to their middle name. When I told the county clerk that I wanted to do this she looked at me as if I came from another planet. It took several minutes of persuading and a phone call to her supervisor to get her to let me do it. ---
**Author:** ![jastu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@jastu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jastu)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/16 "2004-03-07T01:45:34Z")
I think it all depends on the names. I would have liked to have hyphenated the two names but they just didn’t go well together. I took my husband’s name and kept it even after we divorced. I wanted to have the same name as my kids, even when I had another child from a subsequent relationship he too had my name. It becomes too confusing when everyone in the family has a different surname, it certainly made it much easier while they were at school. ---
**Author:** ![Caprese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Caprese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caprese)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/17 "2004-03-07T01:50:02Z")
If I had to do it over, I would have kept my last name. I really liked my last name, and my husband’s surname is kinda weird. At the time (early 80’s), I knew we’d have kids, which we did, and I wanted everyone to be the same. Now I think differently. I did keep my last name and it became my middle name (had never had a middle name.) Don’t care for hyphenated last names. As someone else said, they are too cumbersome. ---
**Author:** ![talking\_head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a8b319/32.png) [@talking\_head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/talking_head)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/18 "2004-03-07T02:39:44Z")
I thought it was odd that my mother used her maiden name as a middle name and married name as a last name-as did her four sisters. This was back in 1945 and before. It turns out that they were not given middle names in our family at that time. Moms initials are JFK, by the way. That turns a few heads, especially on her vanity plate. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/19 "2004-03-07T02:44:05Z")
I took the opportunity of marriage to get away from an incredibly unwieldy German name with far too few vowels and into “Carter.” Sure, I’ve got a monumentally boring name, now, but at least it’s better than my sister Joan Smith’s. 😃 Julie ---
**Author:** ![angelicate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@angelicate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelicate)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2004, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884/20 "2004-03-07T03:33:38Z")
I just added my husband’s name onto my name. I’m Angela Middle Maiden Marriedname. Of I would be if the lady hadn’t made a typo when she entered the info. I’m actually Angela Middlemaiden Marriedname. I can guarantee you that no one in the world has my middle name, though. I could have convinced my husband to take MY last name, but he’d already joined the Navy at that point and didn’t want to go through all of the paperwork/security/etc stuff again. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-last-name-keep-maiden-hyphenate/232884.md?page=2)