# Married Men. Are You Still Getting Blow Jobs? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2009, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254 "2009-05-04T04:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/1 "2009-05-04T04:42:50Z")
I’ve been happily married and or living together with my spouse for 30 years yet I haven’t experienced a blow job for probably 10 years and its looking more and more like I’ll never get one again. Is this normal ? ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/2 "2009-05-04T04:47:40Z")
What difference would it make if it were or weren’t? Do you feel your wife is obliged to provide such just because it’s (so-called) normal elsewhere? What ever is or is not right in your marriage is entirely unrelated to what the random collection of folks who read this thread find to be what they consider “normal”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/3 "2009-05-04T04:53:12Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > What difference would it make if it were or weren’t? Do you feel your wife is obliged to provide such just because it’s (so-called) normal elsewhere? What ever is or is not right in your marriage is entirely unrelated to what the random collection of folks who read this thread find to be what they consider “normal”. Can’t a fellow just be curious? ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/4 "2009-05-04T05:16:58Z")
What is her reasoning when you ask her and she declines? ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/5 "2009-05-04T05:34:04Z")
_Still?_ 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Mesquite-oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@Mesquite-oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mesquite-oh)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/6 "2009-05-04T05:49:23Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > What difference would it make if it were or weren’t? Do you feel your wife is obliged to provide such just because it’s (so-called) normal elsewhere? What ever is or is not right in your marriage is entirely unrelated to what the random collection of folks who read this thread find to be what they consider “normal”. Geez, \*\*Askance \*\*,let the guy ask a question. The Dope is a great place to ask questions about topics you might not feel comfortable asking your friend or neighbor. \*\*The Flying Dutchman \*\*is self disclosing something personal about his sex life to see if others have had similar experiences (changing sexual practices over the course of a long relationship) or concerns that what they are experiencing or feeling is unusual. I think that it is a great question for IMHO. As to the OP’s question, I haven’t collected enough data (years being married) to contribute an answer! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/7 "2009-05-04T06:11:26Z")
I always got it from my wife until our divorce. I once told a girl that I’ve never experienced this thing were GFs or wives all of the sudden go frigid and stop putting out. Her response to me was: “Well that must be because you make sure the woman is getting _her_ needs taken care of. You’d be surprized how many selfish guys that are out there.” That little insight has been something that has stuck with me for many years. So, **FDM** , ten years ago when you got your last BJ, you didn’t just roll over and go to sleep after it was done; did you? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/8 "2009-05-04T06:11:34Z")
Over the years I have known many married men who regularly got blow jobs . . . from other men. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/9 "2009-05-04T06:15:06Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > I always got it from my wife until our divorce. > > I once told a girl that I’ve never experienced this thing were GFs or wives all of the sudden go frigid and stop putting out. > > Her response to me was: “Well that must be because you make sure the woman is getting _her_ needs taken care of. You’d be surprized how many selfish guys that are out there.” > > That little insight has been something that has stuck with me for many years. > > So, **FDM** , ten years ago when you got your last BJ, you didn’t just roll over and go to sleep after it was done; did you? Your implication is that the person giving the blow job isn’t getting any pleasure, and needs reciprocation. That’s not always the case. Some people enjoy doing it, and that’s all they want. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/10 "2009-05-04T06:19:43Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Your implication is that the person giving the blow job isn’t getting any pleasure, and needs reciprocation. That’s not always the case. Some people enjoy doing it, and that’s all they want. I agree. But it’s quite obvious to me that **FDM** ’s wife isn’t one of those people. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aca169/32.png) [@Red\_Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/11 "2009-05-04T06:29:21Z")
Just to put it into context, how frequently are you having sex? I mean if she was doing it 1/3 of the time before, and you’ve had sex twice in the last decade that might be telling. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/12 "2009-05-04T06:34:57Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > What is her reasoning when you ask her and she declines? I’ve never asked. If I’ve got to ask it wouldn’t be very satisfying. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/13 "2009-05-04T06:39:11Z")
> [@Red\_Skeezix](#): > > Just to put it into context, how frequently are you having sex? I mean if she was doing it 1/3 of the time before, and you’ve had sex twice in the last decade that might be telling. Not enough. Why can’t anyone answer my question ? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/14 "2009-05-04T06:41:16Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > I always got it from my wife until our divorce. > > I once told a girl that I’ve never experienced this thing were GFs or wives all of the sudden go frigid and stop putting out. > > Her response to me was: “Well that must be because you make sure the woman is getting _her_ needs taken care of. You’d be surprized how many selfish guys that are out there.” > > That little insight has been something that has stuck with me for many years. > > So, **FDM** , ten years ago when you got your last BJ, you didn’t just roll over and go to sleep after it was done; did you? I know the stereotype is that women stop providing BJs once they’ve got the ring on their finger, the same as they stop showing any interest in weight control, but equally, some just plain don’t like doing it, married or single, and it makes no difference if they’re getting all the orgasms they can handle by whatever means they prefer. ---
**Author:** ![rogerbox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@rogerbox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rogerbox)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/15 "2009-05-04T08:36:29Z")
Why haven’t you asked your wife why she doesn’t anymore? If you can’t communicate with her, it’s not surprising your sex life is suffering. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/16 "2009-05-04T09:02:05Z")
I can’t answer your question because I’m not married. > [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > I’ve never asked. If I’ve got to ask it wouldn’t be very satisfying. An unsatisfying BJ is like bad pizza: still pretty damn good. (NB unsatisfying != bad) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/17 "2009-05-04T09:05:47Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > I’ve been happily married and or living together with my spouse for 30 years yet I haven’t experienced a blow job for probably 10 years and its looking more and more like I’ll never get one again. > > Is this normal ? In my homeland (Navarra, in northern Spain) and age group (I’m 41), BJ’s were considered “advanced skills:” you’d be likely to not start getting them until one or two years after the wedding. Traditional anniversary gift, in fact. Just pointing it out to see if the OP’s head explodes… ---
**Author:** ![Spezza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Spezza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spezza)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/18 "2009-05-04T09:26:12Z")
Yes, I am. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/19 "2009-05-04T09:31:48Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > I’ve been happily married and or living together with my spouse for 30 years yet I haven’t experienced a blow job for probably 10 years and its looking more and more like I’ll never get one again. > > Is this normal ? Ask her why. Maybe you’ve changed flavor or something. I will tell you this…when my husband was smoking, his whole body tasted of cigarette smoke. Very nasty. However, chocolate flavored condoms were an acceptable compromise for us. He felt that getting a blowjob through a condom was better than no blow job, and I felt that the chocolaty flavor and smell helped overcome the smoke smell from the rest of his body. And I’m a whole lot more likely to give a blow job if I’ve been satisfied first. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/20 "2009-05-04T09:41:33Z")
Yes, in both marriages (first one 15 years; current one 3 years). About once a month. Almost never to “completion”, though. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254.md?page=2)