# Married Men. Are You Still Getting Blow Jobs? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2009, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254 "2009-05-04T04:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/81 "2009-05-05T23:42:30Z")
Like a lot of “nice guys”, I was never blown to completion until I _asked_. Until then, it was foreplay - a way of getting a dick hard enough for intercourse. Which would be fine if (being a nice guy) I hadn’t taken already considerable care to get my partner off, usually several times. It wasn’t until I had been with my wife for 10 years or so that I asked her to keep doing it until I came. It was amazing, the most incredible orgasm I’d ever had, and they are always far more intense than what is possible via intercourse. Back in the 90s, the Usenet erotic story groups had a reviewer, a high school English teacher named Celeste. Every week she’d review half a dozen stories for hotness, appeal to the reviewer and technical quality. And she’d always have a joke, a grammar lesson or a bit of advice. Her advice to readers to write authors if you liked a story was her “Blow Job Principle” - if you want a second blow job, make sure you let them know how much you appreciated the first one. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/82 "2009-05-06T02:14:08Z")
10 years married and they keep coming and getting better. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/83 "2009-05-06T03:25:08Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > The tricky part was that giving him a blowjob turned me on so much that even though I didn’t start out with the intention of wanting sex, by the time he finished I tended to be insanely turned on, and what I wanted wasn’t an orgasm or oral sex, i wanted to have that delightful tool I had just had in my mouth inside me elsewhere. > , I am the luckiest girl on the planet, but it took awhile for me to get to be. My first husband hated bjs and all form of oral sex. Much better luck with the second after he got over his Nice Guy guilt, but when he was done, we were done…naturally, he’d get soft. But OMG, my boyfriend. It’s not over until he says it’s over. And he’s 44! We’ve been together a year, living together 3 months now and he can have a bj every day for the rest of his life, as far as I’m concerned. He says the nicest things while I’m unable to contribute much to the conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Razncain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@Razncain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Razncain)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/84 "2009-05-06T03:34:18Z")
> [@Cyn](#): > > My first husband hated bjs and all form of oral sex. I can’t imagine such an animal existing. Could you tell us if he had conservative religious views? If not, why do you suppose that was? ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/85 "2009-05-06T04:02:21Z")
Christ. What’s with all the people getting all preachy and not answering the questions in the op? First my definition of a blowjob is to completion. Anything else is jus foreplay and doesn’t count. I’ve been married 4 years and I’d say I used to get a blowjob once every week or two at the beginning and now I get a bj to completion every couple months. I get head during the lead up any time I put my dick in her mouth or when she is feeling “smutty”. I love finishing in her mouth but she is as horny as I am and needs to get off too so normally I don’t finish because she’s ready to jump on. We have sex probably 3-5 times a week except for a few multiweek dry spells once a year or so. We are VERY open and vocal about what we like and what we want during sex and have a very satisfying sex life. She gets off at least 2-3 times everytime and we normally start with me getting her off with my mouth because she loves that and it turns me on doing it. I have a very unusual fetish that we incorporate into 80% of our sessions so I’m satisfied. One thing though is that I absolutely cannot come in her mouth without her xplicit permission. Not because she will get mad but because my body just won’t let it happen. It’s a mental block. There are times though were I really want a full bj but she’s not into finishing me and that’s ok as long as I get to finish once in a while. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/86 "2009-05-06T04:05:14Z")
> [@razncain](#): > > There hardly isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my woman, but I’d stop short of a few things. One would be if I had a woman that ejaculated large volumes, and she expected me to finish her up with me down there while she was ejaculating. And what if she also wanted you to swallow it? Some of these women are capable of ejaculating pints, some up to a quart, and can shoot it distances of 6-8 feet or so, and no, it’s not pee, as was once believed. Some can do this multiple times in one sitting. > > Out of own curiosity, how many guys could handle staying down on a woman like that till completion, not to say nothing of swallowing it? What brave soul has a story to tell? :eek: It’s not as big a deal as you make it seem. As to swallowing, usually by that point my mouth is around the clit, so it kind of just sprays out. Sure, everything gets wet, but so what? IME the taste is vaguely similar to her usual taste. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/87 "2009-05-06T04:15:18Z")
13 years in, and yes, frequently. I won’t say that facility with oral was a \*requirement \* in picking my spouse, but it certainly weighed in her favor. When I think back to other girlfriends who considered it a “special occasion” thing or weren’t into it at all, I’m confident I made the right choice. ---
**Author:** ![Razncain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@Razncain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Razncain)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/88 "2009-05-06T04:27:48Z")
> [@Cubsfan](#): > > Christ. What’s with all the people getting all preachy and not answering the questions in the op? Who? Nobody’s getting preachy in this thread, only one seemed to object to the OP’s question. And he only asked one question, not questions, and I noticed you didn’t answer it. He only asked after 30 years of marriage if his wife not giving bj’s for the last ten years was normal. Only a few that have been married that long chimed in which were the ones he was probably most interested in hearing from, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Razncain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@Razncain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Razncain)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/89 "2009-05-06T04:29:22Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > It’s not as big a deal as you make it seem. As to swallowing, usually by that point my mouth is around the clit, so it kind of just sprays out. Sure, everything gets wet, but so what? IME the taste is vaguely similar to her usual taste. Thanks for anteing up, man. I got this free porn site I occasionally go to, and that’s why it seemed like a big deal to me. I never knew some women could ejaculate that much. I see a lot of women taking it orally from men, and swallowing, but I have yet to see one clip of a man taking a woman’s ejaculation, or at least one that shot out a pint or more, and certainly not swallowing, nor could they with that large of a amount. ---
**Author:** ![Razncain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@Razncain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Razncain)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/90 "2009-05-06T04:31:51Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > 13 years in, and yes, frequently. I won’t say that facility with oral was a \*requirement \* in picking my spouse, but it certainly weighed in her favor. > > When I think back to other girlfriends who considered it a “special occasion” thing or weren’t into it at all, I’m confident I made the right choice. Yeah, my last gf raised the bar in that area too! Some women think it is a special treat, and I will never go back to that kind of woman, who might do it every several months. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/91 "2009-05-06T07:11:16Z")
Ever since I’ve stopped being married it’s been difficult to remember my birthday and my wedding anniversary. There is an upside, though… ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/92 "2009-05-06T08:46:06Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > Ever since I’ve stopped being married it’s been difficult to remember my birthday and my wedding anniversary. There is an upside, though… What, you used to get blown _twice_ a year? :eek: Some guys get all the luck. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/93 "2009-05-06T12:48:17Z")
I really enjoy giving BJ’s, and yes I swallow…the whole thing turns me on…but the longer my SO and I have been together, the less often it is that I get to finish the job. It’s like we have to hurry up and hit the finish line…normally now within a couple of minutes he will stop me and then we’ll have sex. I dunno if I give bad head–I don’t think so, cuz it certainly got him there two years ago–or if he just wants to get to Real Screwing, or he’s sleepy, or…who knows? I like taking my time in bed, and I like giving head as much as I like getting it–the female equivalent of course–but it seems like we’re heading more towards the “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” school of sex. I don’t like it as much and I need to tell him. I just haven’t done it yet. (We work completely opposite schedules and that’s at least half the problem.) Re : the OP, yes I think lots of married men are getting blow jobs, and if they aren’t they need to speak up. Half of the pleasure of sex is the joy of giving. If you’re getting off, that gets me off, so to speak. And if that isn’t true, it SHOULD be. But you do have to raise your hand; you can’t assume anything. If you want it, ask for it. If you ask for it and you don’t get it, find out why. If you find out why, solve the problem. A blowjob isn’t an exotic dirty crazy weird idea; it’s Sex 101. As is cunnilingus. People get married for a lot of reasons, but comfortable frequent lovely gorgeous you-know-what-I-like-and-I-know-what-you-like sex should be on the top five reasons list. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/94 "2009-05-06T13:07:40Z")
> [@razncain](#): > > I don’t need my woman to finish a bj to completion; nor her swallowing; it wouldn’t make it any more special to me, unless that is something she wanted, but I do like bj’s regularly, and glad she likes to do it. I actually prefer to finish up in a warm, wet vagina. > > There hardly isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my woman, but I’d stop short of a few things. One would be if I had a woman that ejaculated large volumes, and she expected me to finish her up with me down there while she was ejaculating. And what if she also wanted you to swallow it? Some of these women are capable of ejaculating pints, some up to a quart, and can shoot it distances of 6-8 feet or so, and no, it’s not pee, as was once believed. Some can do this multiple times in one sitting. > > Out of own curiosity, how many guys could handle staying down on a woman like that till completion, not to say nothing of swallowing it? What brave soul has a story to tell? :eek: A former girlfriend ejaculated when she came. Not quarts & quarts like some women in porn videos (why do they always scream like they’re getting their limbs chopped off? I hate that.), but she’d squirt about as much as I do when I come, maybe a little more. And I’d stay down there, and yes, it would go in my mouth, and yes, I would swallow it. It tasted like pussy. I venture to guess mine tasted worse than hers did; it was no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/95 "2009-05-06T13:40:14Z")
Married 36 years this year. What is this blow job that you guys are talking about? ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/96 "2009-05-06T17:15:09Z")
> [@razncain](#): > > I don’t need my woman to finish a bj to completion; nor her swallowing; it wouldn’t make it any more special to me, unless that is something she wanted, but I do like bj’s regularly, and glad she likes to do it. I actually prefer to finish up in a warm, wet vagina. > > There hardly isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my woman, but I’d stop short of a few things. One would be if I had a woman that ejaculated large volumes, and she expected me to finish her up with me down there while she was ejaculating. And what if she also wanted you to swallow it? Some of these women are capable of ejaculating pints, some up to a quart, and can shoot it distances of 6-8 feet or so, and no, it’s not pee, as was once believed. Some can do this multiple times in one sitting. > > Out of own curiosity, how many guys could handle staying down on a woman like that till completion, not to say nothing of swallowing it? What brave soul has a story to tell? :eek: You think that’s bad? Try your lover getting her period when you’re going down on her. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/97 "2009-05-06T17:28:13Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Actually, I’ve known of guys who have said it’s okay, but it’s more of a foreplay thing. That is, for them, why bother with doing it to completion when you can have intercourse. That’s me. I’ll accept one as part of foreplay, but the idea of getting a blowjob instead of sex is not at all appealing. ---
**Author:** ![Razncain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@Razncain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Razncain)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/98 "2009-05-06T17:30:32Z")
> [@Carl\_Corey](#): > > You think that’s bad? > > Try your lover getting her period when you’re going down on her. I was wondering when we were going to get to this. Did you know that’s how the “Hell’s Angels” earn their red wings? If you see one of them, look at their jacket, and see if they have that patch. That’s what it stands for, is some biker going down on a woman while she was having her period. You guys make me feel like I’m conservative. ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/99 "2009-05-06T18:33:10Z")
Oh, I wasn’t expecting it. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254/100 "2009-05-06T18:59:57Z")
> [@razncain](#): > > Out of own curiosity, how many guys could handle staying down on a woman like that till completion, not to say nothing of swallowing it? What brave soul has a story to tell? :eek: Like, oh, pretty much everything else involved in sex, porn does not necessarily reflect real life. The women I have been with who ejaculated didn’t pump out quarts and quarts of the stuff. And, like someone said, your mouth is generally on the clit when it happens, not over the urethra, so it mostly just sprays on your chin and chest. No, the main problem is figuring out how to deal with the large wet spot/puddle left afterward. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-men-are-you-still-getting-blow-jobs/495254.md?page=6)