# Married people need to be monogamous, and gays cannot be monogamous. So gays can't get married. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 3, 2013, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037 "2013-06-03T14:13:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/1 "2013-06-03T14:13:07Z")
I’m sure glad a protestor cleared that up for me ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/2 "2013-06-03T14:26:56Z")
But lesbians **can** be monogamous, so lesbians **can** get married! 🙂 Yeah, that doesn’t violate any constitutional rights at all, at all. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/3 "2013-06-03T14:34:25Z")
Hey! Now that’s some logic! Here is some more logic: All mammals are animals. A carrot is a mammal. Therefore, carrots are animals. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/4 "2013-06-03T14:39:53Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Hey! Now that’s some logic! Here is some more logic: > > All mammals are animals. > A carrot is a mammal. > Therefore, carrots are animals. > > 🙂 Yup. Your logic is impeccable. As is your analogy. 🙂 ETA: on further reflection, your analogy is good, but not impeccable. I can pec it thus: in the OP’s syllogism, both predicates are counter-factual. In your analogy, only one predicate is untrue. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/5 "2013-06-03T19:17:40Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > ETA: on further reflection, your analogy is good, but not impeccable. I can pec it thus: in the OP’s syllogism, both predicates are counter-factual. In your analogy, only one predicate is untrue. How about All arguments against gay marriage are logical. Intolerance is part of Christianity. Therefore, Jesus wants you to vote against gay marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/6 "2013-06-03T19:56:17Z")
How about: Married people need to be monogamous Monogamy is boring as shit Profit ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/7 "2013-06-03T20:02:27Z")
Wow, I didn’t know straight people were paragons of monogamy. I mean, even while homosexual activists were talking about marriage being “heteronormative,” there were swinger clubs. ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/8 "2013-06-03T20:36:53Z")
I suppose you could replace the first premise with something less controversial, e.g.: 1. Marriage requires a commitment to monogamy. 2. Gays cannot commit to monogamy. 3. So gays cannot get married. That gets around the fact that straight persons are often unfaithful (as commitments can be broken). Note that if true, this argument would imply that a gay man could not marry a woman any more than he could another man — thus undercutting a frequent claim that heterosexual-only marriages aren’t discriminatory. Unfortunately, in some parts of the world gays _can_ marry. This implies the truth of not-3, which means that we can prove anything we want to. Since this would leave all of mathematics in disarray, gay marriage must be banned immediately. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/9 "2013-06-03T21:13:00Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Married people need to be monogamous, and gays cannot be monogamous. So gays can’t get married. Sounds like a plan. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/10 "2013-06-03T21:17:51Z")
OMG! Then Newt Gingrich must be gay! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/11 "2013-06-03T21:50:04Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > How about > > All arguments against gay marriage are logical. > Intolerance is part of Christianity. > Therefore, Jesus wants you to vote against gay marriage. That reminds me of (IIRC) Jerry Falwell’s argument in favor of capital punishment: [ul] [li]Without capital punishment, Jesus would not have been crucified.[/li][li]Without the Crucifixion, there could have been no Resurrection.[/li][li]_Therefore,_ capital punishment is a good thing![/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/12 "2013-06-03T22:02:48Z")
> [@Mrs.Cake](#): > > OMG! Then Newt Gingrich must be gay! I never doubted. > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > That reminds me of (IIRC) Jerry Falwell’s argument in favor of capital punishment: > > [ul] > [li]Without capital punishment, Jesus would not have been crucified.[/li][li]Without the Crucifixion, there could have been no Resurrection.[/li][li]_Therefore,_ capital punishment is a good thing![/li][/ul] Makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/13 "2013-06-03T22:12:46Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > But lesbians **can** be monogamous, so lesbians **can** get married! 🙂 😕 Lesbians can’t be monogamous. Lesbians exist for MFF three-ways. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/14 "2013-06-03T22:14:27Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I’m sure glad a protestor cleared that up for me You talked to gay protesters? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/15 "2013-06-03T22:16:15Z")
Wait a second! What’s all this about carrots? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/16 "2013-06-03T22:23:58Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Wait a second! What’s all this about carrots? The gay couple who lives next door have a pet carrot. They say it does tricks for them but it’s always just lying there whenever I see it. ---
**Author:** ![bleach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bleach/32/3106_2.png) [@bleach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bleach)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/17 "2013-06-03T22:42:50Z")
Carrots are nocturnal mammals. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/18 "2013-06-03T23:10:13Z")
> [@bleach](#): > > Carrots are nocturnal mammals. They aren’t monogamous in any case, have you seen what goes on in a garden? Playing with the sexy bits of other species is just wrong, what are we going to do about inter order tom foolery? They do it outdoors even. **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/19 "2013-06-04T00:02:16Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The gay couple who lives next door have a pet carrot. They say it does tricks for them but it’s always just lying there whenever I see it. 'es just resting. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037/20 "2013-06-04T00:11:57Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > 😕 Lesbians can’t be monogamous. Lesbians exist for MFF three-ways. Those are just the domesticated hybrid lesbians that you see on film. They are deliberately bred for increased bisexuality and mammary volume. The species varieties of lesbians that are found in the wild **can** be monogamous. Sorry for the confusion. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-people-need-to-be-monogamous-and-gays-cannot-be-monogamous-so-gays-cant-get-married/660037.md?page=2)