# Married Women: Are you still getting head? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2009, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896 "2009-05-10T00:50:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/41 "2009-05-11T21:04:06Z")
I think you and **elfkin** can probably go start a support group or something. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/42 "2009-05-11T21:17:44Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > And the sound you just heard a few seconds ago was my whole head exploding from someone invoking the image that perhaps my mom could be on the receiving end of such maneuvers. :eek: > > Does anyone want some [Brain Bleach](http://i529.photobucket.com/albums/dd336/fr_slingsandarrows/MotivatorBrainBleach2.jpg?t=1242075562) now? Or can I hog it all for myself? My dad doing…awful things to my precious pure delicate mother.:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/43 "2009-05-12T02:56:26Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > My wife doesn’t let me go down on her. She used to when we were dating, but about two years after we were married she admitted that she was never comfortable with it and only let me do it because I enjoyed it so much. She made me stop in spite of the fact that she actually physically enjoys it. It’s a mental issue. > > Cunnilingus is my favorite sex act and I miss it terribly. If I ever find myself in bed with another woman, she won’t see anything but the top of my head for days. How YOU doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/44 "2009-05-12T04:06:15Z")
_Originally Posted by Savannah: If she has public hair, play with it._ > [@Malacandra](#): > > Um… > > :eek: Heh. Usually that typo is made the other way around, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/45 "2009-05-12T04:49:57Z")
“Drunk in pubic”? ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/46 "2009-05-12T04:55:40Z")
Quick tip: If your partner ever says, “You’re squeezing/poking/pushing/rubbing too hard,” as you fumble with their anatomy, the correct response is never, “No, I’m not!” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/47 "2009-05-12T20:51:53Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I know your daughter posted/lurked here at one time. If she still does, you might want to go investigate that explosion you heard a little while ago. It may have been her eyeballs. \<\\> Our kids are adults now, they can cope. Besides, all thru their years at home, when they complained about how noisy we were, our united response to them was “deal with it”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2009, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/48 "2009-05-13T02:59:11Z")
I’m always available and attempt it at every opportunity when in the mood for sex but the frequency of my wife’s desire for it has dropped considerably over the years despite her continued desire for intercourse. She says she’s concerned about leaking urine for which she’s had several failed operations and faces another one, but I continure to tell her I don’t mind. It does perplex me though. I go soft and slow with intermittent flurries of tongue action bringing her to full body spasms of super human strength, a reaction much more profound than I can ellicit with intercourse. ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2009, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/49 "2009-05-13T08:01:39Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > And the sound you just heard a few seconds ago was my whole head exploding from someone invoking the image that perhaps my mom could be on the receiving end of such maneuvers. :eek: Heh… when my little brother was in high school, one Friday night he came home with a couple of friends. The porch light was off, the house was dark, but the music was turned up… so, wondering what was going on, he unlocked the door and turned on the lights. And there, in the middle of the living room floor, was Dad going down on Mom. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/50 "2009-05-13T17:57:15Z")
If the young lady is laying flat against the mattress, car seat, table, what ever, slip at least one hand under her buttocks; raising her bottom up from completely horizontal presents your tongue an easier to reach target and if it hasn’t happened to her previously, you will have taught her a new way to increase her pleasure. And that’s never a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/51 "2009-05-13T19:28:30Z")
What if she’s old? ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/52 "2009-05-14T00:34:40Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > What if she’s old? She’s not. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/53 "2009-05-14T10:34:28Z")
> [@GESancMan](#): > > Heh… when my little brother was in high school, one Friday night he came home with a couple of friends. The porch light was off, the house was dark, but the music was turned up… so, wondering what was going on, he unlocked the door and turned on the lights. And there, in the middle of the living room floor, was Dad going down on Mom. Little bro must have aged. Did said friends see anything. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/54 "2009-05-14T12:15:52Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Oh, and the whole “lick the alphabet” thing? It’s bullshit. It’s just a ploy to get guys to stay down there for at _least_ 26 letters work of licking. Nah, it just stops too short on advice. I think it’s for inexperienced people who might otherwise just lick repetitively up and down or back and forth. If the rest of it were “If you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, lick the alphabet and try to see what motions she responds to,” then you’d have at least a starting place for sound advice. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/55 "2009-05-14T12:24:32Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Oh, and the whole “lick the alphabet” thing? It’s bullshit. It’s just a ploy to get guys to stay down there for at _least_ 26 letters work of licking. Only 26? 😉 Remember what they used to say - > [@](#): > > Put a million monkeys at a million keyboards and let them type. Eventually, they will produce all of Shakespeare. Of course, it works out better when it is a bit less random. As in “I love you too, darling - _now_ will you let go of my ears?” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/56 "2009-05-14T15:08:30Z")
Clearly this isn’t a perfect paralell for the ‘Married men, are you still getting head?’ thread as some women just don’t care for it (I know there are men who don’t like receiving oral sex for whatever reason, but my guess is the numbers don’t quite compare). Maybe ‘Married women, are you (still) being brought to orgasm by your partner?’ would be better. ETA: Though I’m all for cunnilingus tips! My two cents –hands and fingers are your friends – watch how she masturbates herself and learn, getting wet is great but can reduce good friction, and don’t rely on hetero porn (they’ve got to do it in a way that can be properly lit, nto in a way that turns any human woman on). ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2009, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/57 "2009-05-15T05:23:35Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Only 26? 😉 > > Regards, > Shodan Ah, that was the secret message in **On Beyond Zebra**! ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2009, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/58 "2009-05-15T07:54:38Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Little bro must have aged. Did said friends see anything. I think so. This was like 15 years ago… I recall Mom being concerned that my brother’s friends would be “scarred for life,” then snickering behind his back. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/59 "2009-05-16T03:48:51Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Oh, and the whole “lick the alphabet” thing? It’s bullshit. It’s just a ploy to get guys to stay down there for at _least_ 26 letters work of licking. Teach him the Chinese alphabet. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896/60 "2009-05-16T20:47:50Z")
> [@Hockey\_Monkey](#): > > Teach him the Chinese alphabet. 😉 Now _that_, my good sir, is an idea! _runs off to the learn a new alphabet_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-are-you-still-getting-head/495896.md?page=4)