# Married Women of the Dope: How Do You Identify Yourself On Facebook? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 5, 2015, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275 "2015-03-05T14:14:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/1 "2015-03-05T14:14:28Z")
Of the married women with whom I’m Facebook friends, there are several different conventions for identifying themselves. Some use only their maiden name, some use only their married name, some use other naming conventions. What’s yours? Poll to follow. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/2 "2015-03-05T14:49:57Z")
I won’t vote because I’m a man, but among married women of my FB acquaintance, 95% of them go by Firstname Maidenname Lastname. No hyphen, no middle name (if they ever had one). The other 5% go by something like “Rick AndErin Smith” because they have trust issues (valid or not). :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/3 "2015-03-05T14:50:22Z")
I use my first, maiden, and married. So people can find me. My legal name also has my middle name; generally I go by first and married unless it’s a situation where I think somebody might have met me under my maiden name like a resume, then I do first maiden and married. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/4 "2015-03-05T14:50:30Z")
I was raised with a long, rare, ethnic last name that was hard to spell and pronounce and made me easily identifiable on the internet. I married a man with a last name that is a short English noun. I shed my maiden name and haven’t looked back. FWIW, Facebook has a field for you to enter your maiden name so that people can find you without displaying it. I have my maiden name entered there. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/5 "2015-03-05T15:01:24Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > The other 5% go by something like “Rick AndErin Smith” because they have trust issues (valid or not). :rolleyes: I have a few like that myself - all Evangelical Christians who are doing so on the advice of James Dobson or something. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/6 "2015-03-05T15:23:13Z")
I don’t use my husband’s last name at all, so I don’t use it on Facebook. ---
**Author:** ![MrsTime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@MrsTime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrsTime)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/7 "2015-03-05T15:26:56Z")
I don’t use my real name at all…and I don’t understand people who do and then plaster their kids pictures and names all over Facebook. I don’t believe it is safe to do either, there be some real nuts in the internet world. Then Facebook doesn’t appeal to me at all other than some of the local news and buy and sell. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/8 "2015-03-05T15:35:44Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > I don’t use my husband’s last name at all, so I don’t use it on Facebook. Likewise. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/9 "2015-03-05T15:47:48Z")
What Eva and Maggie said. I use Firstname maidenname both professionally and in my private email and facebook. The only time it is a bit awkward is when I have to explain i’m the mom of my son, who is called Firstname Husbandsname. But that situation is quite common in the Netherlands. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/10 "2015-03-05T15:50:21Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I use my first, maiden, and married. So people can find me. My legal name also has my middle name; generally I go by first and married unless it’s a situation where I think somebody might have met me under my maiden name like a resume, then I do first maiden and married. Yep, this is how I do it too. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/11 "2015-03-05T17:04:21Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > What Eva and Maggie said. I use Firstname maidenname both professionally and in my private email and facebook. The only time it is a bit awkward is when I have to explain i’m the mom of my son, who is called Firstname Husbandsname. But that situation is quite common in the Netherlands. Four of us, so far. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/12 "2015-03-05T17:24:16Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > Four of us, so far. Perhaps off topic, but how do you guys deal with husband’s family members who repeatedly refuse to acknowledge that you did not take his last name? I have to say, I’m sure they mean no harm by it, but it irks me (especially as I suspect they manage to address his married sister, who did not change her name either, by her correct last name). ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/13 "2015-03-05T17:36:01Z")
First, maiden, married. ---
**Author:** ![May\_20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@May\_20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/May_20)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/14 "2015-03-05T17:39:16Z")
Currently, I use FirstName MarriedName. For a while, I used FirstName MaidenName MarriedName, but I decided it was too clunky. Anyone who knew me only by my maiden name has probably already found me. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/15 "2015-03-05T18:07:01Z")
> [@Eva\_Luna](#): > > Perhaps off topic, but how do you guys deal with husband’s family members who repeatedly refuse to acknowledge that you did not take his last name? I have to say, I’m sure they mean no harm by it, but it irks me (especially as I suspect they manage to address his married sister, who did not change her name either, by her correct last name). I haven’t had much of an issue with it, honestly - we got a couple things at the wedding that were engraved with “Maggie & Nick Hislastname”, but other than that there hasn’t been much cause for them to use either of our last names socially. Also, I don’t make a big deal out of it if they slip - if they do so repeatedly in the same conversation I’ll gently correct them, but otherwise it’s not hugely important to me. I kept my name not for any huge political reason but just because I didn’t see any compelling reason to change it, plus it was easier to keep it than to go through the rigamarole. Honestly, I think that that I call his parents by their first names instead of some variation of “Mom” & “Dad” was a bigger scandal to his family! ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/16 "2015-03-05T18:16:57Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > I haven’t had much of an issue with it, honestly - we got a couple things at the wedding that were engraved with “Maggie & Nick Hislastname”, but other than that there hasn’t been much cause for them to use either of our last names socially. Also, I don’t make a big deal out of it if they slip - if they do so repeatedly in the same conversation I’ll gently correct them, but otherwise it’s not hugely important to me. I kept my name not for any huge political reason but just because I didn’t see any compelling reason to change it, plus it was easier to keep it than to go through the rigamarole. Well, these mostly aren’t people we see very often, so I haven’t had the opportunity to correct them gently in conversation. But I will admit that it irks me a bit that we’ve been married for more than 5 years, and I am also Facebook friends with these people, so they should see that I haven’t changed my name there either. And we still get wedding invitations and Christmas cards from them addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Tom Scud” or “Tom and Eve Scud.” (Also, one reason I kept my name is that I’m a Jewish agnostic, and his family has 100+ years of Christian missionaries. Which is just not part of my identity.) ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/17 "2015-03-05T18:29:27Z")
I use my married name, but it’s the name from my first marriage, not my current marriage. I just liked the name and stuck with it. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/18 "2015-03-05T18:42:09Z")
Your poll assumes married women will have done the old-fashioned thing of changing their name upon marriage. Many married women don’t do that, although a majority still do, I believe. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/19 "2015-03-05T18:52:50Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Your poll assumes married women will have done the old-fashioned thing of changing their name upon marriage. Many married women don’t do that, although a majority still do, I believe. True. I was answering for my life, not just Facebook. I changed my name upon my first marriage. I didn’t return to my maiden name OR change my name again upon my second marriage. So I use my first married name on facebook and in life. ---
**Author:** ![TheChileanBlob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thechileanblob/32/435_2.png) [@TheChileanBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheChileanBlob)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2015, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275/20 "2015-03-05T19:01:43Z")
I have first name, first initial of my maiden name, married name. Then in parentheses I have my maiden name. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-of-the-dope-how-do-you-identify-yourself-on-facebook/714275.md?page=2)