# Married Women: Would you have said 'no' without a ring **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 27, 2010, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703 "2010-02-27T23:36:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/101 "2010-03-02T18:55:19Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Here’s some inspiration. 🙂 > [http://www.wedge.net/images/tsav3stone.jpg](http://www.wedge.net/images/tsav3stone.jpg) > (the ring is far more sparkly in person. The stones look a bit dull in this picture.) > > The side stones are 1/3 ct Moissanite. They’re actually more sparkly than diamonds, the second hardest stone (after diamonds) and are manufactured crystals that are naturally found in minute size at meteor impact sites. Chemically, they are Silicon Carbide. > > The center stone is a natural green Tsavorite garnet. > > To be clear, CZ, like Moissanite, is not a manufactured diamond, it is a diamond _simulant_ (it looks like a diamond). There are manufactured diamonds which are chemically as much a diamond as one that is mined. If you buy a manufactured sapphire, it is entirely a sapphire, not a piece of blue glass. Thus the distinction between manmade gems, and fake/costume ones. That’s what I’m talking about - manufactured/simulants that are so well-done that your average person can’t tell the difference between them and the “real” thing. I think it would be really eye-opening to go to a jewellery store and look at loose stones and try to tell which is a real gem and which is manufactured/simulant. Emeralds are a good example of this - the quality of real emerald I can afford is a fairly ugly, muddy stone. When my husband won my diamond, he did so by correctly guessing which was the real diamond in amongst the cubic zirconias - I couldn’t tell the difference. The bottom line for me is, if it looks pretty and sparkly on my finger, paying much less is very attractive to me. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/102 "2010-03-02T19:36:57Z")
There was no ring when we decided to get married. Somewhere in the 4 weeks between getting engaged and eloping, we bought an opal ring for me. Then 2 or 3 months after we got married, we got wedding bands. The jewelry was pretty much an afterthought for us. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/103 "2010-03-02T20:48:52Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > Silver, with a sort of leafy pattern carved all around it. My actual wedding ring is double-width, but the engagement ring is what I think of as a normal width for a ring. (We actually ordered one that was double width as well, thinking it would be more manly, but there was a mixup in the order and I liked the one that we got (though we had to exchange it for one that was a bit bigger)). Interesting. I’ve never seen a mangagement ring and being engaged myself i’m curious. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/104 "2010-03-02T21:09:49Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Interesting. I’ve never seen a mangagement ring and being engaged myself i’m curious. Found the link: [http://www.etsy.com/view\_listing.php?listing\_id=41666439](http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41666439) ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/105 "2010-03-02T21:18:24Z")
My experience: So Oni no Husband and I had known we were going to get married for a long time. The first time we talked about it was only 4 months into the relationship! But he wouldn’t Officially Propose and therefore get the wedding planning thing and therefore the being married thing started. Eventually it came out that the reason he hadn’t proposed was because he couldn’t afford to get me The One True Ring Of Awesomeness, and he thought that if I didn’t have TOTROA, it would cause me to lose face with other women, who would pity me for having such a cheap-assed fiance. I explained that 1) I didn’t give two shits about what other women thought, especially any who would think poorly of me or him for not having TOTROA, 2) I was expecting that any ring he proposed with would be a placeholder ring anyway, and that we would pick out the actual Engagement Ring together afterwards, and 3) even if 1) and 2) hadn’t been applicable, I would like to be engaged to him NOW please, not whenever he got however much money together! He looked rather abashed. Eventually, he proposed with a beautiful jade and sterling ring that he got in Chinatown, and then we went out and picked out the engagement ring that I still wear. It’s got one single sapphire, flush-mounted on the white-gold ring, which is about as wide as my white-gold wedding band. I like it very much. ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/106 "2010-03-02T21:35:19Z")
No. My husband proposed to me without a ring in his hand, but after I said “Of course I will, you silly man,” he intimated that he had spent the whole day ring shopping, but decided that he wanted me to pick out my own ring/stone combination. So that night we went and met with the jeweler and I got to design my own wedding band. It was fun and sweet. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/107 "2010-03-02T22:28:18Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > My experience: > > So Oni no Husband and I had known we were going to get married for a long time. The first time we talked about it was only 4 months into the relationship! But he wouldn’t Officially Propose and therefore get the wedding planning thing and therefore the being married thing started. > > Eventually it came out that the reason he hadn’t proposed was because he couldn’t afford to get me The One True Ring Of Awesomeness, and he thought that if I didn’t have TOTROA, it would cause me to lose face with other women.. So when did he finally propose? ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/108 "2010-03-02T23:03:28Z")
A couple months later. I think he didn’t really believe me at first. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/109 "2010-03-02T23:08:49Z")
I also proposed without a ring, and then we went shopping later. For our 25th anniversary, I got the ring I wish I could have afforded. It wasn’t cheap, but I caught her practicing casual gestures in front of the mirror to show it off, so it was worth it. It’s kind of fun showing off your trophy wife. YMMV. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/110 "2010-03-02T23:38:26Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > A couple months later. I think he didn’t really believe me at first. I mean from when you first started talking about marriage. Just curious, for my own selfish reasons… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/111 "2010-03-02T23:47:21Z")
> [@lezlers](#): > > I mean from when you first started talking about marriage. Just curious, for my own selfish reasons… 😃 Oh. About a year and a half, all-told, from when we met till when he proposed. It was another year and a half before we actually got married, due to the fact that there was no way of avoiding it being a BIG WEDDING and I needed that much time to plan it! ---
**Author:** ![misling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ab097/32.png) [@misling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misling)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703/112 "2010-03-03T20:54:42Z")
When I proposed to my husband, I didn’t offer him an engagement ring 🙂 He swears I beat him to it by 10 minutes. We’d known each other for almost 7 years, and he is an inveterate procrastinator, so I’m not sure I believe him. We did pick out matching wedding rings later. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/married-women-would-you-have-said-no-without-a-ring/530703.md?page=5)