# "Marry Our Daughter" -- Please tell me this is a joke ... . **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 10, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626 "2007-09-10T00:04:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/41 "2007-09-10T06:26:57Z")
Okay, I see what you mean. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/42 "2007-09-10T07:07:55Z")
It’s a hoax because they don’t all proposals to multiple daughters. If it were real, would they cut themselves out of the valuable Utah market? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/43 "2007-09-10T07:08:27Z")
Let me get this straight: cute as the dickens, but ignorant as dirt, only knows as much about sex as her fundamentalist mother wanted her to know… Hell, I’d pay $37,000 _not_ to marry her! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/44 "2007-09-10T07:15:56Z")
Cool, I could use 37 large. Ship it over, and I’ll send you a gilt-edged certificate stating that you do not have to marry one of these girls. Make it forty grand, and the certificate will state you don’t have to marry any of them. A bargain, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/45 "2007-09-10T12:35:25Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] What they (I’m assuming, of course, that there’s one solitary person out there who creates **all** of the high quality parody sites…what?) need to do is cross-pollinate some of these sites. I would love a cross between this site and the old [manbeef.com](http://manbeef.com) - between dowry “by the pound” and the option to eat your bride if she didn’t (snerk) pan out for you, it would be a hoot. [/QUOTE] What’s Landover Baptist’s stance on bride-price? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/46 "2007-09-10T12:54:16Z")
It must be a joke, based on: -The whole of the testimonials page - the entries there are very formulaic and silly. -No contact details for the organisation, except email -The links in the FAQ - I think these betray the site’s true intent - to ridicule. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/47 "2007-09-10T12:56:50Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Can anyone loan me 30,000$ or so? 😛 [/QUOTE] Sure, happy to. Oh, crap, I left my 30 large in my other pants. All I’ve got is pocket change, but you’re welcome to it. Would you consider [buryourhamster.com](http://buryourhamster.com)? ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/48 "2007-09-10T13:36:13Z")
It’s fascinating watching [Poe’s Law](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observations_named_after_people) in action. “Without the use of a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to make a parody of fundamentalism that someone won’t mistake for the real thing.” ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/49 "2007-09-10T13:43:33Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Can anyone loan me 30,000$ or so? 😛 [/QUOTE] Just call your bank and ask for the Bride Loan Dept. Be sure to keep up on your payments though: it really sucks when you wake up in the middle of the night because your wife is being loaded onto a flatbed so the bank can sell her at a used woman auction. I’ll be in Feminist Hell if anyone wants me. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/50 "2007-09-10T14:39:30Z")
I’m terribly disappointed I can’t sort by bride-price. How am I supposed to get the best deal without being able to do that? There should also be some sort of bidding function, like Ebay. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/51 "2007-09-10T15:04:52Z")
If they had a bidding function I’d send in a preliminary offer for a woman willing to raise children in _frum_ Jewish tradition (_frum_ is pretty intense Orthodox, far more observant than I am). ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/52 "2007-09-10T16:31:22Z")
[QUOTE=Scuba\_Ben] If they had a bidding function I’d send in a preliminary offer for a woman willing to raise children in _frum_ Jewish tradition (_frum_ is pretty intense Orthodox, far more observant than I am). [/QUOTE] You might be interested in Janna G on page four. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/53 "2007-09-10T17:04:21Z")
Of course it’s fake. It’s a front for a pyramid scheme. I mean, let’s say I buy one of these girls for, oh, $15,000 or so; I can then easily turn around and sell the same girl in Uzbekistan for $35, $40K easy. There’s a huge market for fresh young white girls, and there’s no way this arrangement can be supported long term. So it has to be a scam, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/54 "2007-09-10T17:06:53Z")
Uzbekistan? So _that’s_ where they all went! And that explains why every time one goes missing, \*Fox Gnus \* totally freaks out! ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/55 "2007-09-10T17:42:37Z")
Man, this gets worse the more I look at it. Not only is it sorely lacking price sort and bidding capabilities, it’s also lacking a check box to narrow it down to girls who are willing to do anal. ---
**Author:** ![Words\_on\_the\_Interweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Words\_on\_the\_Interweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Words_on_the_Interweb)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/56 "2007-09-10T17:59:15Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] There’s an odd typo in the menu, though, saying “Sign up our daughter” when it should be “Sign up **your** daughter”. [/QUOTE] No, no, see, obviously the parents who are using this site are doing so because they like control. So instead of the website telling the parents what to do, this is a way for the parents to tell the site what to do - pushing that button is to tell the site “sign up our daughter!”, thereby establishing their dominance. _nods sagely_ ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/57 "2007-09-10T18:03:13Z")
Strangely enough, the “bride-price” is mentioned on the Watchtower’s site. ([Obligartory link](http://www.watchtower.org/e/19980915/article_01.htm)) I find it funny that there is at least 1 Jewish girl on the list – why would Jewish parents list their desire for a nice Jewish man willing to keep a Kosher household on a fundamentalist Christian website? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/58 "2007-09-10T18:05:30Z")
A really nice touch is that the photos look like they were taken by different people. Most hoaxes miss that one. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/59 "2007-09-10T18:33:48Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia] You might be interested in Janna G on page four. [/QUOTE] I’ll have to check this out later. But the point is (in the extreme case), what fundie-Xian parents would want their daughter to raise her children in a non-Xian faith? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2007, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626/60 "2007-09-10T18:39:02Z")
I signed up my “daughter,” “Gabby.” This is what I submitted as a description: > [@](#): > > Gabby is a recent high-school graduate who wants nothing more than to serve a God-fearing man for the rest of her life. Not so much into book-learning, she has studied under her mother’s watchful eye in the domestic areas of kitchen, laundry, baby-care and general household maintenance. She is also proficient under the hood of a domestic automobile. I set her bride price at $25,372. Obviously, I gave an email addy that I use for spam only. This was their response: > [@](#): > > We have received your Daughter’s information and will pass it to our > board for a review screening. > > If we find it sincere and appropriate, we will contact you to request a > photo and your payment of 5% of the requested Bride Price. > This process may take several weeks, so please be patient. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/marry-our-daughter-please-tell-me-this-is-a-joke/418626.md?page=4)