# Mars Has an Asshole, It Seems **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 6, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-has-an-asshole-it-seems/407043 "2007-06-06T21:19:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-has-an-asshole-it-seems/407043/21 "2007-06-07T22:06:11Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] Not to mention Uranus. [/QUOTE] Oh, that’s _easy_: Klingons! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-has-an-asshole-it-seems/407043/22 "2007-06-08T03:27:15Z")
Big deal, Earth has millions. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-has-an-asshole-it-seems/407043/23 "2007-06-08T07:49:31Z")
I thought it might be the Beagle landing site. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-has-an-asshole-it-seems/407043/24 "2007-06-08T08:09:21Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] [Pretty much that’s what the picture looks like to me.](http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/070605_mars_hole.html)Reader’s of KSR’s “Mars trilogy” will probably be reminded of the Moholes. [/QUOTE] Come on, everyone knows an asshole looks like [this.](http://www.rocketinaditch.com/triko/images/asshole.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-has-an-asshole-it-seems/407043/25 "2007-06-08T12:49:43Z")
If I ever met a space asshole I’d give 'em [this](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Keyhole_Nebula_-_Hubble_1999.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-has-an-asshole-it-seems/407043/26 "2007-06-08T15:08:51Z")
I think this may be more an example of a lost-and-found knowledge kind of thing. For those interested, I recommend Wholecloth College Press’ [You Can’t Spell Canal Without ‘Anal’](http://amazon.com/), in which Professor W.W. Honesty examines the thesis that the discovery of Mars’ so-called “asshole” was well known at the turn of the century. It was quickly suppressed by prudish scientists, but not before it had passed into the ken of some contemporaneously popular science-fiction/fantasy [authors](http://www.answers.com/topic/author). Thus an early draft of [H.G. Wells](http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Theater/1612/gallery.html)’ [War of the Worlds](http://www.waroftheworlds.com/) contained the following passage in book 2, chapter 8: “…scattered about, stark and silent and laid in a row, were the Martians --dead!-- slain, after all man’s devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, has put upon this earth: hemorrhoids.” The book glosses over the fact that Wells himself suffered mightily from hemorrhoids and easily could have had them on his, er, mind when thinking of civilization-destroying calamities. More is made of the example of [Edgar Rice Burroughs](http://www.tarzan.org/official_biography_part1.html), who, under the pseudonym “E. Rice Burroughs” penned the scripts and novelizations for a number of gay porn extravaganzas centered, more or less literally, on the handsome and extra-manly [_John Carter: Asshole of Mars_.](http://carter.house.gov/) As professor Honesty claims (pg. 457): “Oh, come on. This is a guy who wrote about characters that could _suck_ with the _palms of their hands_ – in his straight fiction! Nobody’s telling me he wasn’t a little bent.” In addition to the first installment, named for the main character, Burroughs (or, rather, “Burroughs”) wrote and sometimes directed several follow-ups, including _Right Up The Barsoom_ and what many consider his martian masturbatory masterpiece, _Deep Thoat_. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-has-an-asshole-it-seems/407043/27 "2007-06-08T16:06:40Z")
Am I the only one that is utterly creeped out by Mars’ deep cavernous arsehole? I thinK I just developed a new phobia. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-has-an-asshole-it-seems/407043.md?page=1)