# Mars Needs Words!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2002, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215 "2002-05-04T04:29:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/1 "2002-05-04T04:29:35Z")
OK, NASA (or some agency) has chosen you to be the commander of the first expedition to Mars. As commander, you get to be the first to step out the door onto Martian ground. And of course the whole world is going to be watching and listening to what you say. So what do you say? What immortal words do you utter as you plant your toes in the red dust of Mars? Can you do better than that Neil guy? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/2 "2002-05-04T04:37:35Z")
Whoa! It’s like, red and stuff! Dude! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/3 "2002-05-04T04:40:06Z")
"Yo, **Dejah**! Over here! ---
**Author:** ![heptapod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@heptapod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heptapod)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/4 "2002-05-04T04:45:10Z")
“Google is your friend. Have you checked Snopes yet? Hurf durf I think Cecil did an article on this already. Habble gabble pulling up a chair and opening a beer!” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/5 "2002-05-04T05:15:14Z")
What the hell is _that_??!!! Aaaaaaahhhh!!! ---
**Author:** ![bagkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ab992/32.png) [@bagkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/6 "2002-05-04T05:17:35Z")
“Shit, it looks like PEI, only drier!” ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/7 "2002-05-04T06:32:03Z")
“Is this mike working…testing, testing…” ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/8 "2002-05-04T06:36:08Z")
“Oh my God…Ray Bradbury was right!” ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/9 "2002-05-04T07:06:52Z")
My God . . . _it’s full of stars . . ._ ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/10 "2002-05-04T08:16:01Z")
All THAT for…_THIS_ ? ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/11 "2002-05-04T08:25:23Z")
“Man, they got freakin’ Starbucks _everywhere!!_” ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/12 "2002-05-04T14:36:23Z")
“As we sped along these last few months in the Coca-Cola ™ Mars Lander, my constant memory was that nothing is more _out of this world_ than the cool, refreshing taste of Coke ™ _pop_ _glug_.” ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/13 "2002-05-04T14:58:44Z")
“Well, this is one -whoops! - WAGH!” **crash** ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/14 "2002-05-04T17:47:06Z")
If I’m not me, then who the hell am I? ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/15 "2002-05-04T21:29:01Z")
On a more serious note, I would eschew making any notable quote. Just go about doing The Science. Say the same things the 10th person landing on Mars would say. Provide data. Armstrong showed what not to do. You can always make a thought provoking statement some other time. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/16 "2002-05-04T22:35:42Z")
MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?! ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/17 "2002-05-05T00:40:14Z")
“Take me to your leader.” “Thou art God.” “Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!” “Neener, neener, neener!” "Klaatu barada nikto!’ “That’s one small step for _ **A** _ man, one giant leap for mankind…Hey, you hear that, Neil? One small step for _ **A** _ man…_ **A** _ man! Ha!” ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/18 "2002-05-05T01:21:44Z")
I think Bradbury said, after the first Viking probe landed; “Well, we are the Martians now.” I’ve always liked the sound of that one. …Say, what were the first words of the Nazi astronaut mentioned in _The Man in the High Castle_? Something about “Plenty of air, but nothing to breathe”? Ranchoth ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/19 "2002-05-05T01:39:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ranchoth \* > **I think Bradbury said, after the first Viking probe landed; “Well, we are the Martians now.” I’ve always liked the sound of that one.** Actually, that was Andre Morrell’s character from the BBC Serial _Quatermass and the Pit._ ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/20 "2002-05-05T01:40:41Z")
“I knew we should have turned left at Albequerque!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215.md?page=2)