# Mars Needs Words!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2002, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215 "2002-05-04T04:29:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/21 "2002-05-05T01:52:23Z")
_It’s a COOKBOOOOOOK. . . ._ ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/22 "2002-05-05T02:00:43Z")
\Where is my Illudium Q36 explosive space modulator?!\ ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/23 "2002-05-05T02:49:28Z")
Houston to Mars. Houston to Mars. Before you step down, here’s a brief reminder of your prime directive: **"Don’t piss Podkayne off!"** ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/24 "2002-05-05T03:32:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*Actually, that was Andre Morrell’s character from the BBC Serial _Quatermass and the Pit._ \*\* But there was a Ray Bradbury story about a family living on Mars. The parents finally take the kids out “to see the Martians” as they’ve always promised - and take them to a canal and have them look down. They see their own reflections, of course. Anyway, I think **whitetho** ’s answer is disturbingly plausible. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/25 "2002-05-05T03:47:50Z")
“You remember that old movie _Capricorn One_…” “You know, Hoagland was right, it really _is_ a face!” “Houston, we have a problem…” “Aw jeeze! Look what you stepped in! Wipe your boots off or you’ll track that stuff all over the lander!” “Mars needs women!” ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/26 "2002-05-05T05:53:58Z")
\ “I claim this planet in the name of the Earth!” \ ---
**Author:** ![Arken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Arken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arken)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/27 "2002-05-05T13:45:48Z")
“Wooo! We got here first! WE GOT HERE FIRST! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! In your FACE, European Space Program!” ---
**Author:** ![Arken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Arken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arken)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/28 "2002-05-05T13:47:55Z")
Just thought of another one as I clicked submit: “Hey! I can see my house from here!” ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/29 "2002-05-05T14:17:21Z")
“Here’s the shipment of women you said you needed. But someone’s going to have to sign a receipt.” ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/30 "2002-05-05T14:21:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MEBuckner \* > \*\* > “That’s one small step for _ **A** _ man, one giant leap for mankind…Hey, you hear that, Neil? One small step for _ **A** _ man…_ **A** _ man! Ha!” \*\* No, that should be “One small step for a woman…” Hopefully 😃 ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/31 "2002-05-05T15:24:45Z")
“I spent 10 months in a tin can to see a desert?!?” ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/32 "2002-05-05T22:10:13Z")
I broke the surly bonds of Earth and danced the light fantastic among the stars and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. [homer voice]Woo-hoo![/home voice] I am Nomad. I must survive. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/33 "2002-05-05T22:12:52Z")
Bow to my space-wang! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Arken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Arken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arken)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/34 "2002-05-05T22:14:14Z")
Considering the way NASA is run and funded these days, no matter what the first person on Mars says, it will probably be in Chinese. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/35 "2002-05-06T00:21:45Z")
“All your Mars are now belong to us.” [sub]someone had to say it[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/36 "2002-05-06T02:48:11Z")
All your Mars are belong to us. You have no chance to survive. Make your time. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/37 "2002-05-06T02:48:11Z")
All your Mars are belong to us. You have no chance to survive. Make your time. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/38 "2002-05-07T17:12:06Z")
“Hey! You really _can_ see the Great Wall of China from here!” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/39 "2002-05-07T17:38:21Z")
And, from some time ago, all the ones in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=69906). ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mars-needs-words/107215/40 "2002-05-07T19:21:17Z")
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