# Mary Ann, Bailey Quarters, and the rest: when the sidekick is hotter than the lead **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 22, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794 "2006-08-22T19:46:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/81 "2006-09-07T02:19:27Z")
That does it. I’m going to start drinking when I post. That way I’ll have an excuse. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/82 "2006-09-07T02:28:03Z")
Both Nerys and Ezri were more attractive than Jadzia on Deep Space Nine. Or anyone else in all of Trek, for that matter. [QUOTE=Merijeek] Oh, and in the interests of starting a war: Kaylee, Zoe, River, Inara. [/QUOTE] River \> Kaylee \> Inara ≈ Zoe And I agree with everyone saying Gabriella is far more attractive than Xena. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/83 "2006-09-07T02:51:50Z")
[QUOTE=Enright3] I know I’m going to get laughed out of here for this one, but I always had the hots for Julie (Mackenzie Phillips) over Barbara (Valerie Bertinelli) on [One Day At A Time](http://online.tvguide.com/images/pgimg/one-day-at-time.jpg) Only until she became Eddie Van Halen’s wife did I think Valerie Bertinelli was smoking hot. [/QUOTE] I’m not going to laugh at you. Not as such. I am, however, going to see about getting you a new optometrist. I don’t think they qualify anyway. One, because neither was the lead; that was clearly Bonnie what’s-her-name-that-I-had-such-a-huge-crush-on-but-now-can’t-recall-her-surname-you-know-the-redheaded-mom. Second. when the show began, VB was what, 14? I don’t think we were meant to see her in a hypersexualized why. At least I hope not. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/84 "2006-09-07T02:54:54Z")
[QUOTE=ElvisL1ves] Gabrielle over Xena. There. I’ve said it. [/QUOTE] The OP already said it; I know, being he. The Renee O’Connor/Lucy Lawless thing is…odd, though. On the surface it seems to qualify; Gabrielle, in the first half of the first season, was positively frumpy. But as the series went on, her outfits got smaller and smaller,while Lawless (particularly during her pregnancy) wore more and more. Not that Xena was unattractive: far from it. But in part it had to do with the character. Xena didn’t give a damn whether anyone thought she was attractive; Gabrielle clearly enjoyed the attention. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/85 "2006-09-07T02:57:39Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] I’m not going to laugh at you. Not as such. I am, however, going to see about getting you a new optometrist. I don’t think they qualify anyway. One, because neither was the lead; that was clearly Bonnie what’s-her-name-that-I-had-such-a-huge-crush-on-but-now-can’t-recall-her-surname-you-know-the-redheaded-mom. Second. when the show began, VB was what, 14? I don’t think we were meant to see her in a hypersexualized why. At least I hope not. [/QUOTE] She was born in 1960, the show started in 1975. She was always an older girl/woman to me. By the Time I was 12, she was a jaw dropping, 18 year old knock out. The Show ran from 1975 to 1984. She was definitely prime fantasy material for men around my age. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/86 "2006-09-07T04:02:34Z")
Freddy “Boom Boom” Washington was _wayyy_ hotter than Vinnie Barbarino. Hell, Epstein was hotter than Vinnie. ---
**Author:** ![2lazy2pee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/4bbf92/32.png) [@2lazy2pee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2lazy2pee)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/87 "2006-09-07T04:18:11Z")
[QUOTE=Alma] Freddy “Boom Boom” Washington was _wayyy_ hotter than Vinnie Barbarino. Hell, Epstein was hotter than Vinnie. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but Julie Kotter was hotter than them all! 😉 Ellen Travolta as Horshack’s mom was pretty hot, too. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/88 "2006-09-07T04:50:11Z")
> [@](#): > > The Renee O’Connor/Lucy Lawless thing is…odd, though. On the surface it seems to qualify; Gabrielle, in the first half of the first season, was positively frumpy. Only if by “frumpy”, you mean “shaped like a real human being, female variety”. It seems to me that Gabrielle was always supposed to be the hot one. Oh, Xena was great, if you liked the muscular, athletic type, but _everybody_ loved Gabby. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/89 "2006-09-07T08:26:11Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] Only if by “frumpy”, you mean “shaped like a real human being, female variety”. It seems to me that Gabrielle was always supposed to be the hot one. Oh, Xena was great, if you liked the muscular, athletic type, but _everybody_ loved Gabby. [/QUOTE] Actually I merely referred to the way she dressed. The original Gabgarb was by far the most skin-covering outfit anyone under forty wore on either Xena or Hercules; that Gabby was eiher lacking in confidence or perpetually fighting off a chill. Then she met the Amazons and started to learn how to fight; and as her fighting prowess increased, her wardrobe decreased, as if that was the deal she’d made with God. A deal we all applauded. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/90 "2006-09-07T10:11:19Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Numb3rs: give me the math geek, Charlie Eppes, over his FBI agent brother Don any day. [/QUOTE] … you mean the Feeber is supposed to be hotter? _scratches her head in utter confusion_ SWAT. The original series, back when the dinosaurs walked the earth… well, not that far, just when I was in junior high. I just couldn’t stomach either the blonde, blue-haired sniper (TJ) or the “cool sexy black haired guy”, give me “mr serious black haired guy” any time. AKA Robert Urich, so I mustn’t have had that much bad taste, in spite of what my classmates said. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/91 "2006-09-07T14:23:34Z")
Nobody’s done this one yet? Eonwe the shield maiden of Rohan is like, WAY hotter than Arwen the elf-princess. But I’d still like to see them in a cage match. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/92 "2006-09-07T14:39:33Z")
And Eames has it all over Goren. What? ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/93 "2006-09-07T14:44:12Z")
[QUOTE=Kevbo] **Betty** …WAAYYYYY hotter than **Veronica**. What the hell was Archie thinking? [/QUOTE] Archie: “Jesus! Please let me have both - at the SAME TIME!” ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/94 "2006-09-07T15:09:51Z")
[QUOTE=Aesiron] And I agree with everyone saying Gabriella is far more attractive than Xena. [/QUOTE] Gotta disagree. Xena was so intense, as played by Lawless, you know she had to be a tiger in bed. The challenge would be to do her so well it makes sparks fly out her nose. And I can’t see Gabby being quite so intense. More AGREEABLE, maybe … ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/95 "2006-09-07T20:06:02Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] Nobody’s done this one yet? Eonwe the shield maiden of Rohan is like, WAY hotter than Arwen the elf-princess. But I’d still like to see them in a cage match. [/QUOTE] I think you mean _Eowyn_. And while I’d agree with your assessment in general, I don’t think it fits this discussion. Arwen is only a minor character in the books; Eowyn is far more important plot-wise. Book Aragorn was still an idiot not to return her love, though. And don’t even get me started on movie-Aragorn, the bastard. Leading Eowyn on, breaking her heart; what a putz. I swear, I dont’ care if he is the freaking destined King of Men, the next time I see him he is getting such a thrashing. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/96 "2006-09-07T20:43:49Z")
:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/97 "2006-09-07T20:45:14Z")
yeah…I guess Eonwe could have pretty much kicked anyone’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/98 "2006-09-07T21:09:08Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] yeah…I guess Eonwe could have pretty much kicked anyone’s ass. [/QUOTE] With weapons, I’m sure he’s a match for anybody short of Manwe. Without, Tulkas would certainly eat his lunch. And I refuse to make the Batman joke. ---
**Author:** ![t-mobileguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@t-mobileguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-mobileguy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2006, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/99 "2006-09-07T22:16:55Z")
[QUOTE=furryman] I wonder: am I the only person who thought that Linda Cardellini as Velma was much sexier than Sarah Michelle Gellar as Daphe in Scooby Doo? Or maybe I just have a fetish for pretty girls who wear sweaters. [/QUOTE] Here, here - well spoken bruce!! ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794/100 "2006-09-08T00:22:29Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] Gotta disagree. Xena was so intense, as played by Lawless, you know she had to be a tiger in bed. The challenge would be to do her so well it makes sparks fly out her nose. And I can’t see Gabby being quite so intense. More AGREEABLE, maybe … [/QUOTE] Matter of preference. I tend to be attracted to those that are demure or have a quiet strength as I am not an intense person and would be overwhelmed by a partner that is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-ann-bailey-quarters-and-the-rest-when-the-sidekick-is-hotter-than-the-lead/369794.md?page=6)