# Mary had a steamboat... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 25, 2005, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793 "2005-02-25T01:04:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Agonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@Agonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agonist)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/61 "2005-02-26T05:36:05Z")
> [@easy e](#): > > Learn to play the piano in your winter underwear > [some line here that I forgot] Take your next vacation in a brand new Frigidaire. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/62 "2005-02-26T11:58:41Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Have you seen [Big](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094737/combined)? Yeah, but we were doing this in the late 70’s/early 80’s - and our words were different, but closer to **monster’s** than the ones from Big. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/63 "2005-02-26T16:47:43Z")
Woke up in the morning Looked up on the wall The cooties and the bedbugs Were having a game of ball The score was 6 to nothing The bedbugs were ahead The cooties scored a homerun And knocked me out of bed! Sometimes this song had a chorus that went: Hambone, hambone, ain’t gonna work no more Worked last night And the night before Ain’t gonna work no more, no more! ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/64 "2005-02-26T17:21:16Z")
Oh, yeah, we used to sing that one too, but it was skeeters, not cooties. It had a chorus that went: I’m singin’ eenie meenie and a miney mo Catch a whipper-whopper by its toe And if he holler-holler-hollers don’t let him go Eenie meenie and a miney mo Verse 2: I woke up Tuesday morning and ordered ham and eggs I ate so many pickles the juice ran down my legs ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/65 "2005-02-26T18:03:45Z")
On top of old smokey all covered with blood I shot my old teacher with a .44 slug. I shot off her finger and then her big toe snd then her right kneecap was the next thing to go I shot in her stomach and all over the place and then I got ready and blew off her face. the blood was all over and covered the ground and most of her body was not to be found. I got me a bucket and sccoper her right in all of her organs and most of her skin. I went to the butcher to sell him the meat but he didn’t want it cause he saw her feet hehe I think it went on for 30 more verses. You’d probably get sent to jail for threatning if you sung that now. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/66 "2005-02-26T18:19:51Z")
This wasn’t a schoolyard rhyme, but the thread title keeps reminding me of: Mary had a little sheep With the sheep she went to sleep The sheep turned out to be a ram Mary had a little lamb. Here’s [another thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=271331) full of similar playground ditties. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/67 "2005-02-26T18:30:33Z")
It was Miss Sue where I went to school, too. (Ann Arbor, Michigan, 1980’s) But for the life of me I cannot remember what happened after she > [@](#): > > dyed her hair all purple, > she dyed her hair all pink, > she dyed her hair with polka-dots > and washed it down the– > > Sink the Titanic… I’m guessing that the lack of recess and the increase in political correctness has put a squelch on interesting children’s songs. Some time ago, because my RL name is “Mary” and I get a lot of garden/lamb jokes, I came up with the following: [quotes] Mary had a little lamb– boy was she surprised. [/quote] ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/68 "2005-02-26T20:04:29Z")
> [@Stuffy](#): > > The version I know goes… > > Mizz Lucy had a baby > His name was Tiny Tim > She threw him in the bathtub > To see if he could swim > > He drank up all the water > Ate up all the soap > He tried to eat the bathtub > But it woulndn’t go down his throat. > > Miss Lucy called the doctor > The doctor called the nurse > The nurse called the lady with the aligator purse > > There’s another verse I no longer remember. > Here’s another one I just remembered > > My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school > We’ve locked up all the teachers > We’ve broken every rule > We shot the principal > Now it’s really cool > > Glory Glory Halleluah > The teacher hit me with a ruler > I met her at teh door with a loaded forty four > and sha sint gona teach no more > I can’t remember how it ends. Something about marching on though. mumps said the doctor measles said the nurse nothing said the lady with the alligator purse! ---
**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/69 "2005-02-26T20:35:01Z")
> [@Snickers](#): > > "Hi! My name is Bob. > I have a wife and three kids and I work in a button factory. > One day, my boss came up to me and said, ‘Bob, are you busy?’ > I said, ‘No.’ > He said, ‘Push this button with your right hand.’ " > > And then it repeats, with Bob pushing buttons with his left hand, feet, and nose. Along with accompanying hand and foot motions. Takes a while. It’s kind of amazing how, despite having not heard this for 15 to 20 years, I still hate it with unbridled passion. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/70 "2005-02-26T20:35:24Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > So many versions of my old favorites! > > IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, YOU CAN SHOVE IT UP YOUR > ASK ME NO QUESTIONS, I’LL TELL YOU NO LIES > A MAN GOT HIT WITH A **BAG OF SHIT** RIGHT BETWEEN THE > IKEY AND SPIKEY, LAYING IN THE DITCH > IKEY CALLED SPIKEY, A DIRTY SON OF A > BRING DOWN THE CHILDREN > > It goes on forever Isn’t the point of this song to not actually say any swear words? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/71 "2005-02-26T20:36:52Z")
> [@cckerberos](#): > > It’s kind of amazing how, despite having not heard this for 15 to 20 years, I still hate it with unbridled passion. Oh, ditto. Except for me it was Joe (not Bob) and this one wasn’t a playground song. They made us sing it in music class. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/72 "2005-02-26T20:38:18Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Oh, ditto. Except for me it was Joe (not Bob) and this one wasn’t a playground song. They made us sing it in music class. And we didn’t _push_ the buttons, we _turned_ them. ---
**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/73 "2005-02-26T20:40:20Z")
I saw a jolly hunter With a jolly gun Walking in the country In the jolly sun. In the jolly meadow Sat a jolly hare. Saw the jolly hunter. Took jolly care. Hunter jolly eager- Sight of jolly prey. Forgot gun pointing Wrong jolly way. Jolly hunter jolly head Over heels gone. Jolly old safety catch Not jolly on. Bang went the jolly gun. Hunter jolly dead. Jolly hare got clean away. Jolly good, I said. ---
**Author:** ![Detritus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@Detritus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Detritus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/74 "2005-02-27T00:20:09Z")
Similar to “The Song That Never Ends” was this one: My name is John Johnson I live in Wisconsin I work in a lumbermill there The people I meet When I walk down the street They ask me "What’s your name?’ And I say My name is John Johnson… Several different kids taught me this song, and one swore that you had to pronounce the name “Yon Yonson” or you “weren’t doing it right!” ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/75 "2005-02-27T00:22:26Z")
McDonald’s is your kind of place Hamburgers in your face French fries between your toes Dill pickles up your nose And don’t forget those frosty shakes They come from polluted lakes McDonald’s is your kind of place! ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/76 "2005-02-27T00:23:09Z")
Cited in a 1925 newspaper, as a column filler: > [@](#): > > Mary had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, Mary went to Heaven, the steamboat went “toot, toot.” ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/77 "2005-02-27T00:30:38Z")
> [@Detritus](#): > > Similar to “The Song That Never Ends” was this one: > > My name is John Johnson > I live in Wisconsin > I work in a lumbermill there > The people I meet > When I walk down the street > They ask me "What’s your name?’ > And I say > My name is John Johnson… > > Several different kids taught me this song, and one swore that you had to pronounce the name “Yon Yonson” or you “weren’t doing it right!” I’ve heard another version: My name is Yon Yonson I come from Visconsin Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho. Vhen I valk down the street All the peoples I meet Say, “Hello, Yon Yonson, hello!” ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/78 "2005-02-28T17:33:54Z")
When you’re swimming in the creek And an eel bites your cheek That’s a moray! And if we’re gonna get scatological… How dry I am How wet I’ll be If I don’t find The bathroom key I found the key But where’s the door It’s too late now It’s on the floor Wheeeeeeen Your nose is kinda runny And you think it’s kinda funny But it’s not ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/79 "2005-02-28T20:02:53Z")
jump-rope rhymes? ooooo, yeah. chants, really, more than actual songs. Cinderella Dressed in yella Went upstairs to kiss her fella Made a mistake Kissed a snake How many stitches did it take? {speed up the rope twirling, and count out until the jumper misses} One, two, three… {this one you acted out the directions for each line} Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn all around Teddy bear, teddy bear, touch the ground Teddy bear, teddy bear, jump so high Teddy bear, teddy bear, say good-bye! {jumper jumps out} old (i mean _old_) hand-clapping songs… to Take Me Out to the Ballgame Take my out to the hospital Take me up to my room Give me some shots, for I don’t care For I’m in love with Dr. Kildare {hug yourself at his name} For it’s root, root, root for the hospital If they can’t win, it’s a shame (yeah, it didn’t make a lot of sense back then either) For it’s one, two, three shots you’re out At the old hos–spiiiit-al (nobody said kids were great at meter back then) one of those endless ring games where you act out the verses and select the next player based on where you are when the verse comes up: Bluebird, bluebird, in and out my window \ \* whoever is “it” weaves in and out of\* Bluebird, bluebird, in and out my window \> \* the circle of players, who are \* Bluebird, bluebird, in and out my window / \* crouched down with spaces between\* Oh, Johnny, I’m so tired. – \* “It” person stops at closest player in ring \* Take a little girl and tap her on the shoulders Take a little girl and tap her on the shoulders \>\* tap new “It” person all through\* Take a little girl and tap her on the shoulders / \* verse, then take their spot in\* Oh, Johnny, I’m so tired. / \* circle \* Bluebird, bluebird… _ad infinitum_ – \* new “It” starts weaving thru circle \* hey, anybody remember “Duck Duck Goose”? ---
**Author:** ![MaceMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@MaceMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaceMan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793/80 "2005-03-01T03:44:46Z")
Here’s the version I remember: Miss Susie had a steamboat The steamboat had a bell Miss Susie went to heaven, The steamboat went to Hello operator, Give me number nine And if you disconnect me I’ll kick you in the Behind the refrigerator There was a piece of glass Miss Susie sat upon it And broke her little Ask me no more questions I’ll tell you no more lies The boys are in the bathroom, zipping up their flies are in the kitchen, the bees are in the park the boys and girls are kissing, in the D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K Dark, Dark, Dark! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-had-a-steamboat/291793.md?page=5)