# Mary-Kate and Ashley: Double Trouble in Little China **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 23, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040 "2003-05-23T14:44:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/41 "2003-05-25T12:46:34Z")
They are NOT attractive. Not, not, not, not, and not! They look like eels. Tell me they don’t look like eels. Who’s buying their crap now? Teenage girls. Are they doing so because the kiddos are attractive? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/42 "2003-05-25T12:50:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*Easy on the eye? They’re snaggletoothed. They look like aliens. > > Most child stars don’t make that leap. Their cutsey appeal doesn’t translate to paying adults. With any luck, their careers will never get off the ground. \*\* Dude, their careers are fairly well cemented. I wasn’t BSing when I said that they were worth a cool billion. They’ve got their own clothing line, production company (which produces direct-to-video movies starring the twins and music CDs featuring them “singing”), magazine, books, and make-up. They’ve got an fffing _empire_! Mind you, I’m not saying the stuff they turn out is _]quality_, but it is _profitable_, and sadly, that counts for more than anything else these days. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/43 "2003-05-25T12:58:04Z")
Their careers in the adult stage of their lives. They were cute n cuddly as babies - and incredibly annoying - and they can either not work again, living off the sales of their crappy videos and any residuals from Full House or they can attempt to be real, bona fide actresses who can play mature roles, a la Rick(y) Schroder. If they choose the former, GREAT! Then I won’t have to see new crap from them on the shelves. If they choose the latter, I hope they get nowhere. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/44 "2003-05-25T13:04:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*They are NOT attractive. Not, not, not, not, and not! > > They look like eels. Tell me they don’t look like eels. Who’s buying their crap now? Teenage girls. Are they doing so because the kiddos are attractive? \*\* Frankly, yes. For the same reason that _Cosmopolitan_ features sexy women on the cover of a women’s magazine. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/45 "2003-05-25T13:06:49Z")
Unless you’re a teenage girl, I’ll have to ask for some proof to back up that claim… My guess would be that they buy the junk because MK&A are “cool” to them, not because they look sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/46 "2003-05-25T13:21:15Z")
I take it you’re not in marketing, right? Selling to young (and teen) women is a matter of getting them to identify certain celebrity traits with themselves. So if some other girl (famous) is attractive they’ll tend towards buying products with those images on them. They identify to such a degree that they believe (subconsciously) that if they buy products with attractive women on them they themselves will become attractive. It’s the same sort of thing that led to the ‘Madonna Wanna-Be’ phenomenon of the early and mid eighties. It’s a large factor in why marketing to men and women are very different. What do you put on magazine covers (that being what I know best) to get men to buy? Attractive young women. What do you put on magazine covers to get women to buy? Attractive young women. Just one of those fundamental differences in male-female psychology. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/47 "2003-05-25T13:43:15Z")
Granted, they wouldn’t be on a cover if they were incredibly ugly, like Tori Spelling or someone. But the reason they’re there isn’t that they’re attractive - it’s that they’re a known quantitiy that was once cute and now has videos galore to plug to the masses of prepubescent kids. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/48 "2003-05-25T13:50:45Z")
Well, I’d probably say they’re targeted at the tweens at this point, not the pre-pubescents. They have those videos and such because they can appeal to those demographics. Granted, there’s a certain ‘self-reinforcing’ system going on here in that the videos push the image and the image pushes the videos. But I stand firm that, if they hadn’t maintained their ‘cuteness’ factor they wouldn’t have been appealing to their market at this point. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/49 "2003-05-25T13:52:13Z")
Oh… AND ONLY HERE, FOLKS! Only here does a thread on child stars (with a certain fun bad-spiritedness) become a sort of academic discussion of marketing trends and targets! I love this place. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/50 "2003-05-25T13:54:21Z")
You think that their current market would have liked them LESS if they were still cute and adorable? But you just said they’re on the magazine cover because they’re attractive. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/51 "2003-05-25T13:57:55Z")
No, you’ve got it backwards. Staying ‘cute’ (and pushing that image) got them from adorable moppets on ‘Full House’ to full-fledged teen stars. Maintaining that image (attractive, sexy, successful) brings in the tweener girls who want to be that way as well. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/52 "2003-05-25T14:06:31Z")
Sadly, they’re not attractive or sexy… just successful. And the tweener girls want to emulate them because they’re successful - not because they’re attractive or sexy. And they translate success - just a guess - as “making a lot of cheap-ass videos that are everywhereeverywhereeverywhere and cannot be avoided.” Criminey, it’s like looking at those kids from Village of the Damned. ---
**Author:** ![Vixenation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/278dde/32.png) [@Vixenation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vixenation)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/53 "2003-05-25T14:09:43Z")
Speaking as someone who was very recently in high school (and continues to know many teenage boys/girls), Mary Kate and Ashley went out of vogue in about 2000, and the only people even paying attention to them then were 12 year olds and perverts. No teenage boy I knew thought they looked good, and no teenage girl would even mention one unless they were making a joke at the twins’ expense. In college, most people don’t know Mary Kate and Ashley are even teenagers yet. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/54 "2003-05-25T16:59:41Z")
High school teacher here, and **many** of the kids I teach (boys and girls alike) think Mary Kate & Ashley are hot. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/55 "2003-05-25T21:36:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vixenation \* > **Speaking as someone who was very recently in high school (and continues to know many teenage boys/girls), Mary Kate and Ashley went out of vogue in about 2000, and the only people even paying attention to them then were 12 year olds and perverts.** _Hey! Hey! Hey!_ We prefer the term “Humbertoldian Connoisseur.” “Pervert” is such an _ugly_ word. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/56 "2003-05-26T00:12:39Z")
Crikey, come on now. The girls aren’t _that_ bad looking. In fact, they’re not bad looking at all. Gorgeous, no. _Ugly_? Not even close, unless you’re setting them up to unreasonably beautiful standards set by women like Catherine Zeta Jones or Vanessa Williams or something. If you saw these two girls hanging out at the mall with the rest of the high schoolers, would you stop in disgust thinking to yourself, “Dear GOD, these children look like eels”? I really don’t think so. If so, I’d hate to know what you think of someone who is truly ugly. I’ve seen a LOT worse. God help them if they ever cross your path. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/57 "2003-05-26T00:16:31Z")
Ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, and ugly! Okay, maybe not ugly. Evil, though. Yes, evil. Evil and creepy. You can hear them chanting, sometimes… “You … will… worship us… You will… obey… us…” Satan’s spawn, **MeanOldLady** , and even worse, they’re two people! Two spawn! ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/58 "2003-05-26T00:18:37Z")
_Laughs uproariously_ ---
**Author:** ![Zorro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ad7895/32.png) [@Zorro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zorro)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/59 "2003-05-26T12:19:39Z")
This seems to be digressing from the initial premise a little. It all started out as a pleasant little fantasy film-making exercise, and suddenly, we’re into consumer insight and marketing. I want to see **Mary-Kate and Ashley: Spring Break**. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040/60 "2003-05-26T12:28:26Z")
Okay… How about **Mary-Kate and Ashley: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 5**? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mary-kate-and-ashley-double-trouble-in-little-china/177040.md?page=4)