# MASH theme lyrics earnings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 22, 2008, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744 "2008-06-22T02:31:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![erudolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/57b2e6/32.png) [@erudolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erudolph)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/1 "2008-06-22T02:31:43Z")
The recent use of the line “Suicide is Painless” by a financier who is alleged to have faked his own suicide reminded me that MASH director Robert Altman’s then 13-year-old son wrote the lyrics to that movie’s theme song, AKA “Suicide is Painless.” Altman Pere is said to have claimed (on the Johnny Carson-hosted “Tonight Show”) that while he himself made only about $75,000 in straight salary from the film (and may’ve added that he earned nothing from the hit TV series MASH), his son Michael “made a million dollars” from writing the theme’s lyrics (which are rather good, say I). If indeed Michael Altman had made a million dollars from the theme song way back when, when Carson was hosting “Tonight” and having people like Robert Altman as guests (in other words, a very, very long time ago) how much might have Michael Altman have made from the song by 2008? Clearly the hit TV show’s use of the theme song (sans the lyrics) would be a significant factor. I used to be in the music biz a long time ago, and seem to recall that a network TV airing of a song could earn a writer hundreds of dollars, or perhaps much more, for each airing. And unlike TV residuals, music publishing is the gift that just keeps on giving. MASH the TV show was a huge hit in its original airings and in syndication. So how much do you think Michael Altman might have earned so far from this song…a ballpark figure will do, and it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out! Eric Rudolph > **[London The Great!](https://www.bwphotopro.com/)** > > Providing online marketing by means of our blog dedicated to London local businesses and how they appear in our UK local directory. Where black-and-white photography lives. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/2 "2008-06-22T03:39:17Z")
I’m skeptical, but hey, I’m just some guy on the internet. I’d think whoever wrote the _melody_ for the MASH theme would be in good shape. The lyrics were only heard in the original movie, never (to my knowledge) in the series, so why would that kid get any residuals at all? ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/3 "2008-06-22T03:50:01Z")
It’s standard in the industry that the lyricist gets the same royalty, whether or not the lyrics are used. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/4 "2008-06-22T03:55:05Z")
[QUOTE=squeegee] I’d think whoever wrote the _melody_ for the MASH theme would be in good shape. The lyrics were only heard in the original movie, never (to my knowledge) in the series, so why would that kid get any residuals at all? [/QUOTE] I believe the lyric writer still gets money. Supposedly, Gene Roddenbury wrote some (terrible) lyrics to the Star Trek theme just to get more of the residuals when the theme was played (wikipedia doesn’t mention this in their entry though though, so maybe its just a legend) Also, “Suicide is Painless” was a hit in its own right. So even if I’m incorrect about the residuals from song being used at the intro to the TV series, it still probably brought in good money for Altman. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/5 "2008-06-22T04:03:19Z")
The story of how Gene Roddenberry screwed composer Alexander Courage out of half the residuals for the _Star Trek_ theme [is true](http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/trek.asp). ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/6 "2008-06-22T04:40:38Z")
Moving to Cafe Society. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/7 "2008-06-22T07:12:23Z")
I thought [Johnny Mandel](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Mandel) wrote _Suicide is Painless_. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/8 "2008-06-22T07:18:23Z")
> [@](#): > > I thought Johnny Mandel wrote Suicide is Painless. He composed it. Mike Altman wrote the lyrics. If you follow your own link to the “Suicide is Painless” entry, you can see that info. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/9 "2008-06-22T07:24:14Z")
Although performance royalties might be the biggest revenue source, Altman and Rodenberry would also make something from sales of sheet music. During my abortive efforts to learn piano and guitar, I acquired the theme from Mash, Star Trek, and The Godfather, possibly all in one book and definitely all including lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/10 "2008-06-22T07:29:26Z")
Alan Thicke said that the theme song to _Facts of Life_ saved his house from foreclosure during a career slump before he got the lead on _Growing Pains_. (I’m not sure offhand if he’s the lyricist or composer.) They were also valuable enough that his then wife Gloria Loring received them in the divorce. I read somewhere (how’s that for a cite?) that Mort Stevens earned more for composing [The Hawaii 5-0 Theme Song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LnK8b_jk8w&feature=related) than almost any other composer of a single piece of instrumental-only music- it was in the millions (it was a Billboard hit as well as being used by the series, by other series and by movies, etc.). If Obama’s elected I’ve heard rumors he’s going to replace HAIL TO THE CHIEF with it which ought to help some more. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/11 "2008-06-22T07:53:17Z")
Music royalties from a long-running show can be enormous. Merv Griffin once estimated that the Jeopardy “think” music, played during the _Final Jeopardy_ round, was worth over $70 million to him over the years. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mash-theme-lyrics-earnings/453744/12 "2008-06-22T17:56:21Z")
I know Danny Elfman has made a ton off the Simpsons Theme. I also read about John Tesh, who made a surprisingly large amount of money from that old NBA on NBC theme. It’s the smaller things that sometimes bring in serious cash.