# Mass idiocy descends on the Columbus, Ohio, media. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 2, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261 "2003-01-02T19:54:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/1 "2003-01-02T19:54:58Z")
For those who don’t know, Columbus is where Ohio State is located,which also happens to be my alma mater. For those who are even MORE clueless, OSU is playing Miami for the national college football championship Friday night. Okay, I recognize this is a pretty big event in the history of Ohio State football. It doesn’t bother me that it’s received a thousand times more media than ANYTHING the state government has done (Columbus is the state capital) for probably the last 100 years. I’m not terribly bothered that in a state capital that has 850,000 people in its metro area, is the largest city in a quite populous state, and has major-league professional hockey and soccer teams (The NHL Blue Jackets and MLS Crew) that everyone is in a froth over a college football game. No, I’m annoyed that our local media, which was never exactly award-winning to begin with, has dragged out their frivolity and ability to pander and put them on full display. Some of the things I hear on the radio are just kind of dumb. A certain local rock station plays a promo several times a day where one of those deep-voiced, gravelly announcers - you know the type, they do voice-overs for movie previews all the time - says the following: " . . . .we love Miami, but NOT their _football team!_ Miami _suuuuuucckks_. The Buckeys _roooooocckk_! Go Bucks!" Yeah, I know. :rolleyes: ad infinitum. But consider the _news_ broadcast I saw last night on CBS Channel 10. The centerpiece story? A feature piece on what great fans the parents of running back Maurice Hall are, and he isn’t even a starter. (Riveting sample quote from Hall’s father: “There were only the two of us in the house, but you would think it was the whole stadium in there, we were cheering so loud!”) Also, a fairly lengthy piece, for television, on “How the turf the Buckeyes will play on in Tempe differs from what they’re used to in Columbus!” So, considering all the above, and considering that things like this don’t help Columbus, which I’ve come to think of as my adopted home town, get any more respect from Cleveland or Cincinnatti, I just want to say the following: _ **GET A FUCKING LIFE, COLUMBUS!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/2 "2003-01-02T19:57:08Z")
What happens if they lose? ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/3 "2003-01-02T19:59:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*What happens if they lose? \*\* They drink the Kool-Aid. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/4 "2003-01-02T19:59:46Z")
Mass suicide, following the mass idiocy. 😃 (Hey, I never said _I_ didn’t care about the game a little bit myself. It is my alma mater, after all.) ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/5 "2003-01-02T20:01:15Z")
Besdies, how could we lose? We _rooooooocckk!_ Jesus H. Christ. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/6 "2003-01-02T20:01:59Z")
LOL! ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/7 "2003-01-02T20:07:52Z")
Feh. Ohio State isn’t even the best team in the Big 10. ---
**Author:** ![Oblong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c0e974/32.png) [@Oblong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblong)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/8 "2003-01-02T20:33:10Z")
> [@](#): > > What happens if they lose? Stay away from goal posts, cars, and sofas. I shudder to think what happens if they win. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/9 "2003-01-02T21:26:32Z")
If they lose, the students will riot. If they win, the students will riot. The students are fucking idiots. That radio station wouldn’t happen to be WLVQ, would it? ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/10 "2003-01-02T21:30:02Z")
**Minty** , let’s get tonight in Miami out of the way before we start waiving our big black and gold foam fingers around too much. As a kid from the Mad River Valley who worshiped Vic Janowitz and Howard Cassady, we wish THE OSU all the best but we sure wish they had played Iowa. ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/11 "2003-01-02T21:55:35Z")
**Lizard** , the sad thing is that the hype I’m seeing now isn’t as big as it was back when we were only 12-0 and still had to play The Team Up North. There could have been a nuclear attack somewhere in the world, and it wouldn’t have been noted on Columbus news until somewhere after weather. **minty** , ya better take to heart what **Spavined Gelding** said. USC is gonna run all over you tonight. And besides, on what basis do you think Iowa is the best Big Ten team, anyway? We played the same conference schedule as you did (except we played Illinois and you played Michigan State… we can call that a wash, though, as both teams bit this year). What was your non-conference schedule? Akron (a 36 point victory), Miami of Ohio (a 5 point victory), Utah State (a 41 point victory), and Iowa State (where you LOST). Yes, Iowa State, the team that totally dismantled li’l ole Boise Sta… what’s that you say? Iowa State _lost_ to Boise State?? Huh. Don’t that beat all. Meanwhile, OSU’s non-conference schedule: Texas Tech (by 24 points), Kent State (34 points), Washington State (18 points), and Cincinatti (4 points). Two of our opponents went to bowls, and Texas Tech **obliterated** Clemson. I’m just a little curious – what’s your basis for saying that OSU is worse than Iowa? Anything other than some perverse desire to jump on a bandwagon? Bucks by 8. Print it. Quix ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/12 "2003-01-02T22:08:02Z")
Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it. More like Miami by 20+. That’s going to be such a slaughter tomorrow night that I’m not even going to bother to watch. You guys squeaked out of like four games in a row at the end of the season that you should have lost. Tomorrow night, there will be no squeaking, only the sound of OSU alumni once again wondering why they keep spending money on bowl games. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/13 "2003-01-02T22:10:58Z")
Although you guys _did_ beat the Aggies a few years back, so for that at least, I thank you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Latte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Latte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Latte)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/14 "2003-01-03T02:27:13Z")
**Lizard.** Darlink. Nothing Columbus can do will ever earn the respect of Cincinnati. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/15 "2003-01-03T04:53:42Z")
Well, isn’t that disappointing? **Minty** , you want to share the crow–medium rare? There is some for you too, **Beagle Dave**. Let’s see if THE Ohio State can redeem the Big 10 (11) after tonight. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/16 "2003-01-03T05:04:38Z")
Nah, Iowa would still whip Ohio State. Just watch how badly they get mauled tomorrow night. Tonight was a serious let-down, though. Time to stop scheduling the last game in mid-November, eh? ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/17 "2003-01-03T05:57:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by minty green \* > **Nah, Iowa would still whip Ohio State.** What are you, high? An idiot? Blind? Did you see the game? Did you SEE it?? Brad Banks almost missed the fucking _ground_ a few times. He usually had all day to throw, and he did sweet fuckall with it. But yeah, they’d “whip” OSU. There is no rolleye big enough or obnoxious enough for this response. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/18 "2003-01-03T06:04:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by quixotic78 \* > \*\*There is no rolleye big enough or obnoxious enough for this response. \*\* You’re doing a pretty good job on obnoxious without benefit of a really big roll eye. Banks clutched. It’s that simple. Don’t know why it happened but it sure did. ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/19 "2003-01-03T06:22:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spavined Gelding \* > **You’re doing a pretty good job on obnoxious without benefit of a really big roll eye.** Thanks! [sub]At least I’m not burning any couches[/sub] \*\* > [@](#): > > Banks clutched. It’s that simple. Don’t know why it happened but it sure did. \*\* Yeah, it’s that simple (assuming clutched = choked, I guess), and you’re good to admit it. If OSU loses in an embarrassing, Iowaesque fashion to Miami, I’ll be in here the next day going, “Yup, we really sucked. We Banksed the place up.” I would not, however, go, “Doesn’t matter that we looked like DeVry’s “Special” Team on an off day, we’d _still_ beat the shit out of an obviously superior team!” That’s what warrants the rolleye. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261/20 "2003-01-03T08:51:01Z")
Let’s revisit this in a couple of days when OSU has the National Championship…and prove themselves the best college team _in the country_. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mass-idiocy-descends-on-the-columbus-ohio-media/146261.md?page=2)