# Massacre your favourite literature with a limerick **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 24, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812 "2003-03-24T17:20:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/81 "2003-03-26T15:50:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Scrivener \* > \*\*This pricey TV schedule, viewed by some a collectible, > Is so un-compact and unwieldy, it’s risible. > Stuffed with celebrity puff > And other trite stuff, > Copies multiply in hoarder’s attics like the _Trek_ tribble. \*\* Um… don’t give up the day job. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![manwithaplan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/82 "2003-03-26T15:59:12Z")
Little Miss Fickle: Miss Fickle could not make a decision, Her views constantly in a state of division, She could not choose a hat, Or pick this over that, “Botherations”, she cried in derision. Ah, the joys of fatherhood. ---
**Author:** ![manwithaplan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/83 "2003-03-26T16:13:41Z")
_The Karma Sutra_ To make your love life quite fantastic, You need to become more elastic, As the missionary position, Is for the out of condition, Try these - they’re far more gymnastic. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/84 "2003-03-26T21:53:48Z")
The notorious 1987 Supreme Court decision in **Bowers v. Hardwick** : As a censure 'gainst a sin known as “sodomy,” It reinforced a queer dichotomy: As both gays and straights Do indulge in their tastes, But to the straights the Court said, “It don’t bother me.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/85 "2003-03-26T21:55:35Z")
nitpick: it’s “Kama Sutra”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rib\_Eye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@Rib\_Eye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rib_Eye)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/86 "2003-03-26T22:18:26Z")
A well-dressed Wall Street dude Had a secretly violent 'tude He practiced the arts Of cutting off parts Such delectable finger food! ---
**Author:** ![Rib\_Eye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@Rib\_Eye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rib_Eye)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/87 "2003-03-26T22:19:31Z")
I’m not really seeing the point of the spoilers anymore. It’s a pain in the tuchus to highlight all these great posts! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/88 "2003-03-26T22:36:44Z")
the collected works of Mark Leyner: He should trademark his style as “Mark Leyner[TM]”. He’s the prose equivalent to the Sit-'n-Spin, But his pop references prolix, Are now stale Gen-X hydrochlorics In the way that coke’s out and heroin’s in. ---
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/89 "2003-03-26T22:58:22Z")
Actually . . . **American Psycho** by Brett Easton Ellis A young Wall Street broker it’s said, Had a habit of killing folks dead, He wore fancy suits, And butchered prostitutes, But don’t worry it was all in his head. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/90 "2003-03-26T23:18:08Z")
**The Starr Report** - Kenneth Starr & co. The evidence leads us to conclude: with behaviour salacious and rude (not limited to lying despite the denying) that Willy is one slipp’ry dude I’m tired of the spoiler tags too. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/91 "2003-03-26T23:25:58Z")
I run the question database for an on-line trivia game ([www.pyrotomountain.com](http://www.pyrotomountain.com)). I would love to use some of these as trivia questions. The site is not a profitable enterprise… is there anyone that would mind their work being so appropriated? ---
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/92 "2003-03-26T23:28:32Z")
Actually . . . **American Psycho** by Brett Easton Ellis A young Wall Street broker it’s said, Had a habit of killing folks dead, He wore fancy suits, And butchered prostitutes, But don’t worry it was all in his head. ---
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/93 "2003-03-26T23:32:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bricker \* > \*\*I run the question database for an on-line trivia game ([www.pyrotomountain.com](http://www.pyrotomountain.com)). > > I would love to use some of these as trivia questions. The site is not a profitable enterprise… is there anyone that would mind their work being so appropriated? \*\* Now that you bring it up, this would make a good basis for a quiz. Name the book based on the limerick, should be fun. If you so desire, feel free to use any of my limericks. Just make sure to direct us to the quiz when you’ve got it up. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/94 "2003-03-26T23:35:06Z")
Tom Wolfe’s **The Right Stuff** : Test pilots Walker, Crossfield, and Yeager Had the “right stuff,” but were none too eager To be “Spam in a can” 'Cause a stick pilot’s _the man_… So Glenn, et al., made the astronaut leagers. [slight wince] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/95 "2003-03-26T23:36:07Z")
leaguers. Still wince-inducing, though. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/96 "2003-03-26T23:48:20Z")
**Withnail & I** – screenplay & movie by Bruce Robinson: Meet two idle thesps, “Withnail” and no-name, Staying drunk and/or stoned is their game. 'Til Uncle Monty’s lust most frantic Froze no-name in homosexual panic, And now their friendship will never be the same. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/97 "2003-03-26T23:56:50Z")
- Nothing to spoil so here ya go: The Adventures of Augie March _by Saul Bellow_ Raised in a Chicago hovel Augie was bound to meet trouble Such a rich tale of life And its woes and its strife It’s \*The \*Great American Novel ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/98 "2003-03-27T00:16:20Z")
Edwin Drood was a charming young bloke But someone wanted him dead - no joke! Who was the foul killer In this Victorian thriller? The answer, my friend, is _choke_ (To read all the spoilers on the page, select all (ctrl+A). ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/99 "2003-03-27T00:27:21Z")
A poet named Derry down Derry Penned limericks cunning and merry But almost every time He rehashed the first line, That recycling Derry down Derry. [http://edwardlear.tripod.com/BoN/bon010.html](http://edwardlear.tripod.com/BoN/bon010.html) ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812/100 "2003-03-27T00:32:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bricker \* > \*\*I would love to use some of these as trivia questions. The site is not a profitable enterprise… is there anyone that would mind their work being so appropriated? \*\* It would probably be better either to get individual permission from the writers of the limericks you want to use or blanket permission from the Chicago Reader. Not saying “no” isn’t the same as saying “yes.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massacre-your-favourite-literature-with-a-limerick/163812.md?page=6)