# "Massage" Parlors **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 24, 2014, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518 "2014-06-24T08:07:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Razncain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@Razncain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Razncain)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/41 "2014-06-26T17:00:07Z")
So, Meloy, rate your overall experience with this massage parlor, think you’ll cum again? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/42 "2014-06-26T18:49:10Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Like, in your butthole? You have a true gift for simile. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/43 "2014-06-26T21:05:00Z")
> [@razncain](#): > > So, Meloy, rate your overall experience with this massage parlor, think you’ll cum again? Yeah, make Yelp review and give us a link. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/44 "2014-06-27T02:28:04Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > …and maybe even a [business card?](http://www.joecarr.us/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Go-to-jail.jpg) Are you saying hers is a community chest? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/45 "2014-06-27T02:44:13Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Are you saying hers is a community chest? Maybe, but there’s no free porking. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/46 "2014-06-27T03:14:24Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > **Meloy** is from Finland? What’s the Finnish equivalent of Norwegian wood? (and is it any good?) ---
**Author:** ![Meloy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Meloy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meloy)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/47 "2014-06-27T07:49:35Z")
> [@razncain](#): > > So, Meloy, rate your overall experience with this massage parlor, think you’ll cum again? I didn’t the first time. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/48 "2014-06-27T07:54:17Z")
Did the masseur ask before she put her finger in your butthole, or did she just go for it? I’d think that would be awkward between a married couple, much less a random worker. ---
**Author:** ![Meloy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Meloy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meloy)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/49 "2014-06-27T07:56:56Z")
She just put it up there. I didn’t mind at all but was pretty surprised. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/50 "2014-06-27T09:21:37Z")
> [@grude](#): > > Did the masseur ask before she put her finger in your butthole, or did she just go for it? > > I’d think that would be awkward between a married couple, much less a random worker. A friend of mine was on spring break ages ago and the first day there he met a young lady and within hours they were showering together. He related to me that mid-activity she inserted her fingers into him. I asked him, somewhat shocked, what he did about it. He responded “Are you fucking kidding?! I asked her to marry me!” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/51 "2014-06-27T13:53:46Z")
> [@dasmoocher](#): > > What’s the Finnish equivalent of Norwegian wood? (and is it any good?) Wood Finnish, I’d guess. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/52 "2014-06-27T13:59:40Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Wood Finnish, I’d guess. I’m guessing stained and not lacquer. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/53 "2014-06-27T14:47:36Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’m not sure. Is that still your finger? “Surprise, surprise, surprise…” ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/54 "2014-06-27T16:23:05Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > So you celebrated [getting off](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17478816&postcount=36) by getting off? From the linked post: > [@him](#): > > the end result was a single digit Or perhaps he meant > [@rewrite](#): > > the result was a single digit in the end ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2014, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518/55 "2014-06-28T02:34:02Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Wood Finnish, I’d guess. Pledge makes a [version](http://www.pledge.com/en-US/Products/Pages/floor-care-wood-finish.aspx) for that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/massage-parlors/691518.md?page=2)