# Masterbate-a-thon: Won't someone think of the kittens?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 15, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936 "2003-04-15T20:34:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 10\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936/21 "2003-04-17T06:38:20Z")

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So are they calling this “Jerk for the cure”?

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**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936/22 "2003-04-17T07:02:55Z")

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Did anyone else notice the link on that page to an article about a PETA translation problem?

Seems one of their slogans “Dump Dairy” was translanted into Spanish as “Discharge Sperm”.

I could say so much more, but I’ll leave the floor open to all comers.

Don’t hit me, owwww.

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936/23 "2003-04-17T12:09:09Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Severian \*  
> \*\*Why are all these pledge forms stuck together? \*\*

They came that way.

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**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936/24 "2003-04-17T12:31:13Z")

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Which charity?

Blindness.

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**Author:** ![Quack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e99b99/32.png) [@Quack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quack)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936/25 "2003-04-17T23:38:25Z")

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Honestly, if I were distributing funds, I would give the money to a testicular cancer organization. Just for the irony.

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**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936/26 "2003-04-18T00:36:59Z")

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How about an impotency awareness cause 😃  
[Richard Gere]  
Now _that’s_ irony

[/richard gere]

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**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936/27 "2003-04-18T00:41:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \*  
> \*\*Which charity?
> 
> Blindness. \*\*

And hairy palms.

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**Author:** ![Quack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e99b99/32.png) [@Quack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quack)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936/28 "2003-04-18T01:06:36Z")

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Bob Barker should just say what we’ve all been thinking for years:  
“Help control the cat population, wank like there’s no tomorrow”

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**Author:** ![Kallisti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@Kallisti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallisti)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936/29 "2003-04-18T04:32:45Z")

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I kill God

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**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masterbate-a-thon-wont-someone-think-of-the-kittens/168936/30 "2003-04-18T07:24:44Z")

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Everytime I masturbate a kitten.

God kills me.

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