# Masturbate-a-thon - is this licensed vulgarity or a genuine charity event? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 21, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481 "2006-07-21T14:38:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/21 "2006-07-22T02:12:21Z")
[QUOTE=Thudlow Boink] Do people really need to be made more aware of masturbation? If there are people out there who need to be persuaded that choking the chicken is natural, normal, and not shameful, is a big controversial event like this going to convince them? [/QUOTE] Who was the Surgeon General who was forced out after suggesting that schools teach masturbation as a means towards cutting down on teen pregnancy and STDs? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/22 "2006-07-22T02:26:26Z")
> [@](#): > > The US Masturbate-A-Thon is hoping to see new challenges to the current record of eight hours and thirty minutes . . . > > The event begins at 2:00 p.m. on August 5, 2006, and continues until 10:00 p.m Americans must be organizing this event. They’re taunting the Brits, asking them to break an 8.5 hour record at an 8 hour event. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/23 "2006-07-22T02:36:51Z")
[QUOTE=Thudlow Boink] If you didn’t think having co-workers hitting you up for charitable donations was annoying before… “You want me to give you money for _what_?” [/QUOTE] I have been approached for a masturbation pledge. It was at a play party, so there wasn’t really cause to complain. Maybe this is different, but the one in that case was meant to be either solitary or, um, in small groups. They weren’t renting out the convention centre or anything. Also: [May is National Masturbation Month](http://www.stopthewaronmasturbation.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/24 "2006-07-22T02:42:01Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] Americans must be organizing this event. They’re taunting the Brits, asking them to break an 8.5 hour record at an 8 hour event. [/QUOTE] Awww, we’re just jacking them around… ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/25 "2006-07-22T03:21:38Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] Who was the Surgeon General who was forced out after suggesting that schools teach masturbation as a means towards cutting down on teen pregnancy and STDs? [/QUOTE] Ah, you must be thinking of [Jocelyn “Wasn’t she that masturbation lady?” Elders](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jocelyn_Elders) > [@](#): > > In 1994, she was invited to speak at a United Nations conference on AIDS. She was asked whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity, and she replied, “I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.” This remark caused great controversy, especially among conservative Christian groups and right wing interests in the United States. Under great political pressure President Clinton asked for her resignation. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/26 "2006-07-22T03:23:57Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] **Masturbate-a-thon - is this licensed vulgarity or a genuine charity event?** [/QUOTE] Why can’t it be both? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/27 "2006-07-22T03:25:08Z")
[QUOTE=Thudlow Boink] Ah, you must be thinking of [Jocelyn “Wasn’t she that masturbation lady?” Elders](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jocelyn_Elders) [/QUOTE] That was kind of dumb of her. I mean, when did any teenager ever need to be **taught** masturbation? **Monkeys** can work this shit out! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/28 "2006-07-22T03:28:13Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] Americans must be organizing this event. They’re taunting the Brits, asking them to break an 8.5 hour record at an 8 hour event. [/QUOTE] But you can’t hold down the Brits! They’ll rise to the challenge and overcome every obstacle! Og, this is just too easy . . . 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/29 "2006-07-22T03:31:30Z")
I hate to image what the next event there will be. Just as long as it isn’t the British Forensic Association or some sort of black-light art convention they should be ok. ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/30 "2006-07-22T05:23:10Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] That was kind of dumb of her. I mean, when did any teenager ever need to be **taught** masturbation? **Monkeys** can work this shit out! [/QUOTE] True. But they could be taught not to be ashamed of it. I think it might help also if we let kids look at porn at 14 or 15, rather than 18. Although, of course, they do anyway. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/31 "2006-07-22T06:14:22Z")
It’s not clear whether you’re only allowed to masturbate yourself, or help out a needy neighbor. And do they serve refreshments, like pan-fried semen? ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/32 "2006-07-22T08:26:12Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] Americans must be organizing this event. They’re taunting the Brits, asking them to break an 8.5 hour record at an 8 hour event. [/QUOTE] We are accustomed to playing extra time. Normally followed by a shoot-out. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/33 "2006-07-22T15:46:39Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] [Zapp Brannigan] The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised… [/ZB] [/QUOTE] And I do believe that this sublime use of a _Futurama_ quote has successfully caused **Bryan Ekers** to win the internet, at least in this particular topic. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2006, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/34 "2006-07-23T07:03:17Z")
[QUOTE=TJdude825] I feel as though a rather funny joke has gone over my head. Again. [/QUOTE] [Some](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249524) [light](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6833980&postcount=86) [reading](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=290639). Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![guyblond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@guyblond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guyblond)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2006, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/35 "2006-07-23T18:33:12Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] That was kind of dumb of her. I mean, when did any teenager ever need to be **taught** masturbation? **Monkeys** can work this shit out! [/QUOTE] Are we sure about this? I have an acquaintance (a fellow that frequents the same drinking establishment as I) who is well know to conduct primate research at the local university. One evening he was telling me that copulation is learned behavior for primates. This is one of the reasons that when primates are taken from the wild at a young age that it is difficult to get them to breed. In essence they don’t know how to screw. His point was that pornography might well have a function in human society. So in answer to the OP, is this event vulgarity? Well maybe to my mom, but to a pornographer, just another day at work. A genuine charity event? Yes if it makes the bucks and serves some aspect of the charitable purpose. To answer the unasked question: Is public masturbation as an informational public exercise a benefit to our society? Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/36 "2006-07-23T19:09:50Z")
[QUOTE=guyblond] To answer the unasked question: Is public masturbation as an informational public exercise a benefit to our society? Maybe. [/QUOTE] I think it is. But the Philadelphia police department and the management of Baskin Robbins disagree with me. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/37 "2006-07-23T20:28:38Z")
[QUOTE=guyblond] Are we sure about this? [/QUOTE] Apes and monkeys masturbating in zoo-cages is a common spectacle . . . which, of course, does not mean it cannot be a behavior they learned from watching other monkeys rather than experimenting on their own. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/38 "2006-07-23T20:28:53Z")
Sick. Just sick. I want to throw up. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2006, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/39 "2006-07-23T23:25:33Z")
[QUOTE=The Flying Dutchman] Sick. Just sick. I want to throw up. [/QUOTE] Save it for the Vomit-a-thon. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2006, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/40 "2006-07-23T23:43:11Z")
If they want to break the record, which is 8.5 hours, why is the event only scheduled from two to ten? Isn’t that just 8 hours? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481.md?page=3)