# Masturbate-a-thon - is this licensed vulgarity or a genuine charity event? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 21, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481 "2006-07-21T14:38:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2006, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/41 "2006-07-23T23:55:48Z")
[QUOTE=The Flying Dutchman] Sick. Just sick. I want to throw up. [/QUOTE] I don’t understand this response. A bunch of willing exhibitionists/voyeurs will masturbate for each other and a bunch of willing voyeurs. Everybody will be above the age of majority, and will have given their legal consent. Statistically, some of the Onanists will even be hot. Why the disgust? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/42 "2006-07-24T00:02:36Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] Why the disgust? [/QUOTE] If you have to ask then I’m not able to explain it to you. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/43 "2006-07-24T01:11:33Z")
[QUOTE=The Flying Dutchman] If you have to ask then I’m not able to explain it to you. [/QUOTE] Enlighten us anyway. :dubious: Damn, eight hours is their record? Jesus, how would you have any feeling LEFT? Or skin, for that matter. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/44 "2006-07-24T01:15:13Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Enlighten us anyway. :dubious: [/QUOTE] Actually, I feared that would be his answer. I suspect that this is one of those’our world views are so radically different that we don’t share enough mutual concepts to explain our views on this to eachother’ things. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/45 "2006-07-24T01:17:55Z")
[QUOTE=The Flying Dutchman] If you have to ask then I’m not able to explain it to you. [/QUOTE] If you can’t explain it you don’t know yourself, which is **your** sorry-ass ignorant problem. “Unexamined life,” and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/46 "2006-07-24T02:06:33Z")
[QUOTE=cmkeller] Is this a freestyle event, or must the participants use a specified stroke? [/QUOTE] I would think the breast stroke would be applicable here 😉 Though perhaps they don’t care as long as you use a hands-on approach. ---
**Author:** ![guyblond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@guyblond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guyblond)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/47 "2006-07-24T02:47:18Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] If you can’t explain it you don’t know yourself, which is **your** sorry-ass ignorant problem. “Unexamined life,” and all that. [/QUOTE] Hmmm, I was thinking that “Dutchman” had made a very hip joke about ice cream, semen and cops that I just didn’t get. Anybody want to take a whack at a punch line? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/48 "2006-07-24T03:40:43Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] Actually, I feared that would be his answer. [/quote] Please don’t be afraid [/quote] > [@](#): > > I suspect that this is one of those’our world views… I hardly think my attitude towards public masturbation constitutes a world view. > [@](#): > > are so radically different that we don’t share enough mutual concepts to explain our views on this to eachother’ things. How do you explain what makes you sick? My daughter thinks its sick when my wife and I kiss for longer than a second in front of her. I don’t ask why she feels that way. I know I wouldn’t understand anyway. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/49 "2006-07-24T03:49:51Z")
[QUOTE=The Flying Dutchman] How do you explain what makes you sick? My daughter thinks its sick when my wife and I kiss for longer than a second in front of her. I don’t ask why she feels that way. I know I wouldn’t understand anyway. [/QUOTE] It ain’t that simple. This is one of those cases where esthetic judgment is inextricably tangled up with ethical judgment. Esthetic judgment, insofar as it is a matter of personal taste, requires no defense or explanation; but ethical judgment **does.** ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/50 "2006-07-24T04:20:56Z")
[QUOTE=The Flying Dutchman] My daughter thinks its sick when my wife and I kiss for longer than a second in front of her. I don’t ask why she feels that way. I know I wouldn’t understand anyway. [/QUOTE] Your daughter, presumably, is a child, which means she’s immature. What’s _your_ excuse? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/51 "2006-07-24T04:50:09Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Your daughter, presumably, is a child, which means she’s immature. [/QUOTE] Are you mature? Take a moment and imagine your parents kissing. With tongue. Barfing yet? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Critical\_Mass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@Critical\_Mass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical_Mass)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/52 "2006-07-24T04:54:36Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Damn, eight hours is their record? Jesus, how would you have any feeling LEFT? Or skin, for that matter. 😛 [/QUOTE] What happens at the end of eight hours? Is it the mother of all orgasms (maybe not the best choice of words)? Do you just kind of fizzle out? Do you give up due to boredom? Pain? Blindness? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/53 "2006-07-24T05:01:13Z")
[QUOTE=qwest] What happens at the end of eight hours? Is it the mother of all orgasms (maybe not the best choice of words)? Do you just kind of fizzle out? Do you give up due to boredom? Pain? Blindness? [/QUOTE] See the “Catholic High School Girls in Trouble” sketch in [_The Kentucky Fried Movie._](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kentucky_Fried_Movie) “The **truth** about masturbation!” ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/54 "2006-07-24T05:20:01Z")
Its entirely true that excessive masturbation can lead to feeble-mindedness, as anyone who has seen Texas A&M can readily testify. But lets consider the public health aspects of this: if, as we are given to understand, an erection lasting longer than 4 hours is a dangerous condition, cardiac-wise. So any number of people aiming for the 8 hour mark are going to bust their blood-pump in mid-stroke! They won’t know if they’re coming or going! “AAaaargh! My heart!”, he ejaculated… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/55 "2006-07-24T05:27:33Z")
**Dutchman** , I believe they have curtained cubicles for the uh, participants. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/56 "2006-07-24T11:07:23Z")
From the site “There will be three communal areas—mixed, men=only, and women only—but each of these will have screened areas for private masturbators.” There will be areas for those who want to masturbate in private. But the default is a place where you can see others in your section (men, women, or mixed) and they can see you. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/57 "2006-07-24T11:18:12Z")
More from the site " Please respect people’s privacy. The single-gender areas are, obviously, only for people who identify themselves as that gender and the cubicles are for people who want to take part in the event but are only comfortable masturbating in private." ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/58 "2006-07-24T12:18:25Z")
What I want to know is: “What constitutes masturbation?” You can’t have a record unless you define what you are recording. If I just sit for nine hours have an extremely light fondle, just enough that it feels good, is that masturbation? Who’s to say? Where do you draw the line? I dunno, call me old fashioned but if you ask me it’s a bit like synchronised swimming at the Olympics. It’s all a bit wishy washy. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/59 "2006-07-24T12:19:28Z")
“having”, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/60 "2006-07-24T17:45:04Z")
Or, what about “eargasms?” 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481.md?page=4)