# Masturbate-a-thon - is this licensed vulgarity or a genuine charity event? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 21, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481 "2006-07-21T14:38:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/61 "2006-07-24T17:55:52Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Or, what about “eargasms?” [/QUOTE] You have to buy me dinner first. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/62 "2006-07-24T18:05:16Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] I think it is. But the Philadelphia police department and the management of Baskin Robbins disagree with me. [/QUOTE] Baskin Robbins!? Jeez, that’s just sick. But Dunkin’ Donuts – now, that’s a challenge. “Hmm, nice glaze on the bear claws this morning, officer.” ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/63 "2006-07-24T18:05:18Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] You have to buy me dinner first. [/QUOTE] Slut! I’m strictly a “dinner _and_ a show” guy! OK, a burger and a TV movie qualify, but it has to be cable! ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/64 "2006-07-24T21:22:34Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] Baskin Robbins!? Jeez, that’s just sick. But Dunkin’ Donuts – now, that’s a challenge. “Hmm, nice glaze on the bear claws this morning, officer.” [/QUOTE] " You mean this **isn’t** rum raisin?? Aiiiieeeeeee ! ! ! ! ! " :eek: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/65 "2006-07-26T04:09:05Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Or, what about “eargasms?” 😉 [/QUOTE] [Does bestiality count?](http://www.galactanet.com/comic/295.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/66 "2006-07-26T05:42:05Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] Statistically, some of the Onanists will even be hot. [/QUOTE] This pisses me off to no end (which is kind of sad, actually; you’d think I’d have better things to get worked up about). The sin of Onan was not pulling out, or masturbating, or anything like that. He _was_ punished for pulling out; not for the act itself, but for its consequences. Jewish males had an obligation to impregnate their brother(s)'\* wives, if the brother died without progeny. Onan’s brother died, and he pulled out of the widow, refusing to impregnate her. _That_ was the problem, not the concept of pulling out. Scholars may correct me, but that’s the impression that I got. \*-Ok, there is no graceful way to write that. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/67 "2006-07-26T07:51:21Z")
**Captain Carrot** You’re correct. By pulling out, Onan defied a direct command from G-d, derived his sister in law of children, got himself a much bigger share of his brother’s estate, and all that after satisfying his sexual desires rather than just saying no to start with. To Jews, Onan’s sin was not the spilling of seed but disobeying G-d and for selfish reasons. That being said, I just wanted to use a word other than masturbators. Even if the term Onanist is based on a misreading of the story, the meaning of the term is generally understood. In retrospect, I should have gone with “kitten killers”. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481/68 "2006-07-26T12:58:00Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Enlighten us anyway. :dubious: Damn, eight hours is their record? Jesus, how would you have any feeling LEFT? Or skin, for that matter. 😛 [/QUOTE] …and imagine the blisters…on both hands 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbate-a-thon-is-this-licensed-vulgarity-or-a-genuine-charity-event/365481.md?page=3)