# Masturbating At Work **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 24, 2001, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840 "2001-08-24T02:59:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/21 "2001-08-24T15:52:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Delta-9 \* > Interesting you say this considering your own website is used for jerking off. > \*\* Are you TRYING to get this thrown to the pit? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/22 "2001-08-24T16:12:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > \*\ ***pondering how I could work jerking off into an English lesson…** > > Hmmmm… \*\* Well there’s lots of idioms you could teach them. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/23 "2001-08-24T16:38:59Z")
I work out of a home office. I live alone. Need I say more? ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/24 "2001-08-24T16:47:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ashtar \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Spoonbender \* > > \*\* > > OT: Ashtar, your sig rules! That’s one of my favorite _Thief_ quotes. I wonder how many Dopers recognize it? \*\* > > Thank yew. 🙂 > > And as far as I know–you’re the first. \*\* I got it, too. Do I get a sticker? 🙂 Hmm…my coworkers are suspiciously quiet this afternoon… ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/25 "2001-08-24T16:51:46Z")
My job officially ends in about 3 weeks. I came in about an hour ago and realized that my last 15 minutes/day worth of work that hadn’t been reassigned was gone. So that leaves me with, what, about 120 hours on the clock masturbation time? I can picture the scene at my house tonight: “How was your day, honey?” “Hard day at the office; I’m beat.” Heh! ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/26 "2001-08-24T17:05:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Are you TRYING to get this thrown to the pit? Nope. > [@](#): > > Perhaps the point has eluded you that the content of Stoid’s website is not a thread title. Perhaps I was the only one who saw the irony of a person who runs a porn website considering this to be “too much information.” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/27 "2001-08-24T17:48:02Z")
I have never done that at work. And I have my own office. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/28 "2001-08-24T17:50:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*I have never done that at work. And I have my own office. \*\* Ditto for me. And I have a lock on my door. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/29 "2001-08-24T17:51:22Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by slortar \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ashtar \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Spoonbender \* > > \*\* > > OT: Ashtar, your sig rules! That’s one of my favorite _Thief_ quotes. I wonder how many Dopers recognize it? \*\* > > I got it, too. Do I get a sticker? 🙂 > \*\* \*\* _Ashy sticks a little gold star square on slortar’s forehead._ “You’re my super star of the day!” ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/30 "2001-08-24T18:19:34Z")
My guess is that if you worked in a dildo factory it would be called R & D. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/31 "2001-08-24T18:27:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by casdave \* > \*\*My guess is that if you worked in a dildo factory it would be called R & D. \*\* Hey I saw a porn movie with this premise. ugh…I meant to say a freind told me about seeing a porn movie with that premise… yeah that’s it ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Bee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Larry\_Bee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Bee)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/32 "2001-08-24T18:28:52Z")
Don’t go swimming in the 'pool where I used to work 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/33 "2001-08-24T18:32:35Z")
I don’t think I am ever going to swim in a pool again. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/34 "2001-08-24T22:53:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > > \*\ ***pondering how I could work jerking off into an English lesson…** > > > > Hmmmm… \*\* > > Well there’s lots of idioms you could teach them. \*\* Not to mention limericks. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/35 "2001-08-25T06:03:11Z")
I know a photlab where they hired a deaf-mute young man. The second day on the job they heard strange noises, between yelling and moaning, coming from a toilet stall and they thought he may be having a heart attack or something… it turned out the poor kid was just jerking off and did not realize they could hear him… As for myself… I avoid work as it takes too much time away from playing with my pizzle. ---
**Author:** ![zuma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9c0ed/32.png) [@zuma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuma)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/36 "2001-08-25T13:45:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jabe \* > \*\*This is one of my favorite activities. It really kills time and makes me feel better about my job. Maybe I should mention mandatory masturbation brakes at our next departmental metting. > > Come on, I know you’ve done it too. > > peace, > JB \*\* Nope, never done it. I’ve considered it many times, but figured I could hold out a few more hours. It’s not worth the risk, in my mind… Not that I find anything wrong with your activities, mind you 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/37 "2001-08-26T05:25:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by warmgun \* > \*\*Doesn’t it make your ass sweat then itch the rest of the day? And what about post-M dribble? > \*\* You have to train yourself to urinate afterwards. Cleans out the tubes nicely. Burns a little, though. ---
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/38 "2001-08-26T05:27:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Astroboy14 \* > \*\ ***pondering how I could work jerking off into an English lesson…** > \*\* I swear to God I thought that said _bassoon_. ---
**Author:** ![Sultan\_Kinkari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7bcc69/32.png) [@Sultan\_Kinkari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sultan_Kinkari)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/39 "2001-08-26T05:39:58Z")
I’ve done it but not since I was in my teens, and only then it was just a few times. I worked for a design firm so we always had lots of great photography catalouges in the men’s restrooms. I know I couldn’t have been the only one because I know I wasn’t the one who brought them in there. What the hell? A photography catalouge? That means absolutely no words _whatsoever_. Could you be a little more obvious? Sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. Just don’t walk back to your cubicle with a big cumwad hanging from your ear like I did. Chicks dig it. ---
**Author:** ![BigGiantHead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b4bc9f/32.png) [@BigGiantHead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigGiantHead)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2001, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840/40 "2001-08-26T06:33:06Z")
Well, considering “at work” for me used to translate to “on a submarine,” uh… _yeah. A lot_. In fact, given a crew of 175, a 9-week patrol, and an _average_ of probably 3 events/person/week… that’s something like 4725 each run. Wow! That’s probably a little high. I mean, I know some guys weren’t, but then there were some at it twice a day, too. Call it an even 4000. 😉 And it’s not like it was any big secret. There’s been “porn sharing” a hell of a lot longer than the Internet has been around. Heh heh. -Dave [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-at-work/77840.md?page=3)