# masturbating=cheating? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 17, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021 "2003-07-17T00:49:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/1 "2003-07-17T00:49:32Z")
If a married man plays with himself, is that the same as cheating on his wife?..mine thinks so. I think she’s a nut. ---
**Author:** ![Kinthalis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kinthalis/32/16084_2.png) [@Kinthalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kinthalis)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/2 "2003-07-17T00:54:55Z")
She is nuts. Masturbation is a natural human activity. In fact some experts believe it’s part of a healthy sexual relationship. Does she play with herself? ---
**Author:** ![Kinthalis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kinthalis/32/16084_2.png) [@Kinthalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kinthalis)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/3 "2003-07-17T00:56:36Z")
My girlfriend is reading over my shoulder right now 😉 She mentions somehting important: Are you presenting her observation in it’s entirety? Basically, are you ONLY masturbating and neglecting your sexual relationship with your wife? ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/4 "2003-07-17T00:56:58Z")
I’d love to catch her.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Harli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c0e974/32.png) [@Harli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harli)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/5 "2003-07-17T01:00:50Z")
Good question, **Kinthalis**. I mean, if the one partner is getting his or her only sexual gratification by watching porno and getting him or herself off that way, and not looking to his or her partner for that, then yes, there are some issues that need to be looked at. It also really depends on the definition of cheating. “Gaining sexual gratification outside of the relationship.” If that is the definition that the claim is being based on, then masturbation is still within the relationship. Try some mutual masturbation to show her there’s nothing wrong with it. ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/6 "2003-07-17T01:03:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kinthalis \* > \*\*My girlfriend is reading over my shoulder right now 😉 > > She mentions somehting important: > > Are you presenting her observation in it’s entirety? > > Basically, are you ONLY masturbating and neglecting your sexual relationship with your wife? \*\* No. My wife and I have a very healthy sexual relationship.What brought the question up in the first place was that damn “Seinfeld” episode. I think I may have made myself seem like a compusive masturbator…:smack: ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/7 "2003-07-17T01:09:36Z")
Next thing you will tell me is hooking up with an 18 yr old Asian girl in the bathroom of a sleezy East Village bar is cheating…uh…not like I know anything about that. ---
**Author:** ![AZCowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/97f17d/32.png) [@AZCowboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AZCowboy)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/8 "2003-07-17T01:43:48Z")
Just explain that you’re trying to [lower your risk for prostate cancer](http://asia.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=scienceNews&storyID=3102088). ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/9 "2003-07-17T01:49:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AZCowboy \* > \*\*Just explain that you’re trying to [lower your risk for prostate cancer](http://asia.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=scienceNews&storyID=3102088). \*\* I just read that on Yahoo news. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/10 "2003-07-17T01:51:35Z")
Is she the same type of woman that gets pissed if you would go to a strip bar? Some women simply feel threatened by anything sexual that doesn’t include them. I agree with what’s been already posted. When you are looking for sexual gratification outside of your relationship, it’s a problem that needs to be addressed. If you enjoy masturbation and still maintain a healthy relationship with the Mrs., then what’s the rub? [sub]sorry :D[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/11 "2003-07-17T01:57:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ruby \* > \*\*Is she the same type of woman that gets pissed if you would go to a strip bar? Some women simply feel threatened by anything sexual that doesn’t include them. > > I agree with what’s been already posted. When you are looking for sexual gratification outside of your relationship, it’s a problem that needs to be addressed. If you enjoy masturbation and still maintain a healthy relationship with the Mrs., then what’s the rub? [sub]sorry :D[/sub] \*\* Believe it or not I’ve never been to a strip bar. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/12 "2003-07-17T02:02:35Z")
Sounds as though she feels that since you have her, you shouldn’t “have to” masturbate - she should be everything you need, sexually. Have y’all discussed this in-depth? ---
**Author:** ![LauraLittlePony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LauraLittlePony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LauraLittlePony)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/13 "2003-07-17T02:19:55Z")
I wouldn’t be thrilled with my S.O. going to a strip bar (take me, at least!), but I think precious few healthy, educated people would disagree that masturbating, in addition to a healthy sexual relationship, is fine. ---
**Author:** ![LauraLittlePony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LauraLittlePony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LauraLittlePony)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/14 "2003-07-17T02:27:36Z")
I wouldn’t be thrilled with my S.O. going to a strip bar (take me, at least!), but I think precious few healthy, educated people would disagree that masturbating, in addition to a healthy sexual relationship, is fine. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/15 "2003-07-17T03:23:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rolandgunslinger \* > I think I may have made myself seem like a compusive masturbator…:smack: \*\* Well…what is considered “compulsive” by some people might be personally reasonible to someone else. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/16 "2003-07-17T03:33:54Z")
I’ve also read elsewhere that a lot of males would be hard-pressed to _not_ masturbate, regardless of the sexual quality within their relationships at the time. To me, anyway, masturbation has damn near nothing to do with whether or not one is getting any. The sheer quantity of times may lower within a relationship, but I doubt this man will ever completely stop. To break it down far too simply: masturbation is an easy fun way to amuse (hah!) oneself in times of boredom, laziness, or sheer horniness. The experience is in no way comparable to real sexual activity with another person. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/17 "2003-07-17T04:00:43Z")
Some people are threatened when their partner masturbates, because even though they might not be in the mood, it’s without them. ---
**Author:** ![plain\_jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@plain\_jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plain_jane)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/18 "2003-07-17T04:04:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Priam \* > \*\*I’ve also read elsewhere that a lot of males would be hard-pressed to _not_ masturbate, regardless of the sexual quality within their relationships at the time. . .masturbation is an easy fun way to amuse (hah!) oneself in times of boredom, laziness, or sheer horniness. \*\* I think these statements are applicable to both genders. I certainly feel the same way, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/19 "2003-07-17T06:17:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rolandgunslinger \* > \*\*Believe it or not I’ve never been to a strip bar. \*\* Don’t worry, not missing anything other than badly watered down beer and unfortunate louts. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021/20 "2003-07-17T07:14:52Z")
Badly watered down beer? You mean they serve Coors? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-cheating/189021.md?page=2)