# Masturbating while breastfeeding **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191 "2011-02-22T03:25:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/41 "2011-02-22T13:57:53Z")
Most parents from the very get go embrace a complete and total mindset of wanting to do anything and everything to give their child the best upbringing possible and giving them every chance to succeed and flourish. The described act violates the very heart, the most basic foundation of that desire. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/42 "2011-02-22T14:18:35Z")
To be fair, if you read the article, this is not something she is advocating or some kind of how-to. The article is about an extremely sexual woman who loses all connection with her sexuality after child birth. The incident ends as soon as it begins- you’ll notice the first line is not about masturbating while breast feeding…it’s just describing the first time she tried touching herself after having her kid. The next line after the OP’s quote is literally the door bell ringing. The whole things ends in embarrassment, and is meant to illustrate how confused and mixed-up the writer’s sexuality had become. It’s more of a “this was a low-point” thing. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/43 "2011-02-22T14:34:30Z")
I find the replies disturbing and very much anti-Love. What is described is a normal and perhaps beneficial human behavior, very possibly a out flow of Love, it is beautiful, and it is being judged very harshly and condemned here. It is very possible that some here have had such thoughts while breastfeeding, perhaps some even did some form of self stimulation like rubbing their thighs together (hands are not needed). Reading this thread can easily turn this natural human behavior into a feeling of guilt and shame. Very rarely does the act reveal the intent of the heart, and to judge the person you have to know what they are thinking - is the infant is a sex toy or a beloved child that has the act of the Love of his/her creation still surrounding that infant. Such a infant that has the Love of his/her creation has the potential to bond the parents together more in Love - leading towards a better sex life between the parents. Without knowing the intent behind it, I’d WAG that this infant is feeling a lot more Love and closeness then many others and is in a envyable position compared to many other infants. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/44 "2011-02-22T14:43:54Z")
I’m not a parent, but oh dear God does this sound sick to me. As others have said, I just can’t imagine using my own child as an unwitting party to my own sexual escapades. That’s just all kinds of wrong. And what if you get to the point that you can’t get off without baby in hand? Ewwww. ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/45 "2011-02-22T14:44:28Z")
My first thought when seeing the title of the thread was, “Ewww… brain bleach.” But then I noticed that, right now, the last poster was… **Kanicbird** … and I had to click. Thanks for not disappointing, K! For my daily dose of batshit, you’re even better than shrooms. ---
**Author:** ![xoferew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e9a140/32.png) [@xoferew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xoferew)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/46 "2011-02-22T14:55:02Z")
I don’t think this is criminal or necessarily the beginning of a screwed up parent-child relationship or anything, but it’s kind of like making obscene gestures at a blind person. It doesn’t hurt them, but it’s still not decent behavior – you’re using innocent others for your own amusement. Supposing that people could retroactively give consent, imagine 100 babies who have reached the age of consent being informed by their mothers. I wonder what percent of them would say, “It’s fine that you did that, mom.” ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/47 "2011-02-22T15:16:46Z")
What if this leads to Pavlovian conditioning? Every time she feeds the rugrat, whe gets horney. Or worse, every time she gets horney, she wants to feed the kid. Years later: “That fireman next door must be mowing the lawn without a shirt again.” “How can you tell?” “Mom cooked a three course meal.” ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/48 "2011-02-22T15:26:37Z")
Isn’t this the same as the old yarn about putting peanut butter on your who-ha and calling for the dog? I’ll judge this one easily - eww, yuck, and if this is something that is okay with you, you need therapy. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/49 "2011-02-22T15:32:40Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Without knowing the intent behind it, I’d WAG that this infant is feeling a lot more Love and closeness then many others and is in a envyable position compared to many other infants. And the way the kid went to town on those nipples, they were TOTALLY asking for it. Little tease, get Mama all worked up and then leave her high and dry! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/50 "2011-02-22T15:37:45Z")
This is pretty clearly not ok. It’s not even like it’s just some kind of weird multi-tasking, this woman is talking about deriving sexual pleasure from the act of breastfeeding. I don’t know if it’s criminal, but it’s very disturbing and can’t be healthy. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/51 "2011-02-22T15:41:47Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > To be fair, if you read the article, this is not something she is advocating or some kind of how-to. > > The article is about an extremely sexual woman who loses all connection with her sexuality after child birth. The incident ends as soon as it begins- you’ll notice the first line is not about masturbating while breast feeding…it’s just describing the first time she tried touching herself after having her kid. The next line after the OP’s quote is literally the door bell ringing. The whole things ends in embarrassment, and is meant to illustrate how confused and mixed-up the writer’s sexuality had become. It’s more of a “this was a low-point” thing. No, the article is far far worse. It talks about parents and children sharing an “inherent sexuality” and a bunch of weird shit. Here’s an especially gross quotation: > [@](#): > > Sometimes I’m afraid I go too far. I linger a little too long when I look at his little dimpled ass. I enjoy it too much when I put lotion on after his bath. I know everybody loves a naked baby; I know children are inherently sexual; I know it’s normal to be turned on by your infant. W-T-everloving-F??? I most certainly do not share any sort of sexuality “with” my parents, either my mother or father and the thought of them having been turned on by my infant body makes me physically ill. > [@](#): > > But this is tricky territory. Is it wrong to encourage him to touch himself? Is it okay to think of my baby when I masturbate? Is that just a manifestation of his all-consumingness? Babies are like a gas — they expand to fit all available space. There is something desperately wrong with this lady and I think her kid is going to be very very skeeved out when he reads this article 10 or 12 years from now. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/52 "2011-02-22T15:42:03Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > To be fair, if you read the article, this is not something she is advocating or some kind of how-to. > > The article is about an extremely sexual woman who loses all connection with her sexuality after child birth. The incident ends as soon as it begins- you’ll notice the first line is not about masturbating while breast feeding…it’s just describing the first time she tried touching herself after having her kid. The next line after the OP’s quote is literally the door bell ringing. The whole things ends in embarrassment, and is meant to illustrate how confused and mixed-up the writer’s sexuality had become. It’s more of a “this was a low-point” thing. Um… did you keep reading? Because the author using her son for sexual gratification, definitely does not end with that incident. Now that her son is 1.5 years old, she says that the way he feeds is sexual, and that she masterbates while thinking of him, and that she has “placed her erotic longing on her son” instead of her husband, and that she can understand why people sexually abuse children. I’m sorry, she goes waaaaay off the deep end. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/53 "2011-02-22T15:47:47Z")
Smells like trollbait to me. Or maybe the diaper needs changing. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/54 "2011-02-22T15:52:08Z")
Yeah, to be honest, the entire article is pretty messed up. Her idea that her son’s breast feeding was sexual was gross. I’m pretty sure (well, I hope anyway) that most women don’t see the act of a baby/child breast feeding as sexual. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/55 "2011-02-22T15:56:06Z")
Has this woman met George Costanza? There’s some kind of sexual multitasking they could both go through. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/56 "2011-02-22T16:23:31Z")
Uh. [Sexual](http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-normal-to-feel-aroused-when-im-breastfeeding_8927.bc) [response](http://www.onehotmama.com/ask-rox/question20.htm) [during](http://www.drwendywalsh.com/blog/2009/09/women-who-orgasm-while-breast-feeding/) [breastfeeding](http://www.cafemom.com/answers/254020/Breastfeeding_orgasms) is [relatively](http://www.itsamomsworld.com/turned-on-by-breastfeeding.html) [common](http://scienceblogs.com/neurotopia/2009/11/oxytocin_this_ones_for_the_lad.php). I don’t think it’s the standard or anything, but stimulation mixed with a rush of hormones has the possibility of triggering a physiological response. Breastfeeding is a physical act of love and bonding. While it’s not sexual, I’d argue that for some women it falls somewhere on a continuum. Pretending like it’s never ever even the slightest bit sexual to anyone ever just makes the women who do have this response feel shame and confusion. I agree the author of the article seems very mixed up, pretty squicky and would probably benefit from less navel-gazing and public exposure. I also think, in her own way, she starts to talk about some points that are probably worth some honest exploration. The love of a child is all-consuming, and does have (non-sexual) physical elements to it that can be difficult to reconcile. I remember as a child reaching the age where cuddling with mom didn’t feel right. Mom had a tough time dealing with that- to her, I was still her baby. I can see how it can be difficult for mothers to negotiate some fo these feelings. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/57 "2011-02-22T16:29:14Z")
What a load of crap. She’s perving on her own baby, and no it’s not normal to masturbate while breastfeeding, to think about one’s baby while masturbating or to become sexually excited by putting lotion on their asses, etc. Jesus Christ. Imagine if a father said he jerked off while thinking about his baby daughter, or that he got wood when he was putting lotion on her ass. This is definitely NOT normal. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/58 "2011-02-22T16:31:37Z")
You can “uh” all you want, but I think being turned on by your breastfeeding baby and masturbating to his image is disgusting. What is it about attachment parenting in the US that it goes so off the rails? Everything about this lady is phenomenally creepy, and makes me thankful I was raised by Republican non-hipsters with jobs and an aversion to the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/59 "2011-02-22T16:34:24Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Uh. **While it’s not sexual** , I’d argue that for some women it falls somewhere on a continuum. Pretending like it’s never ever even the slightest bit sexual to anyone ever just makes the women who do have this response feel shame and confusion. It’s not that I disagree with you. it’s that the author does. She says “people say breastfeeding isn’t sexual, but it _is_.” She states that breastfeeding is an explicitly sexual act for her, so much so, that she’s not sure if she can limit herself appropriately or acknowledge her child’s indvidual identity. Sorry, she’s grotesque. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/60 "2011-02-22T16:39:41Z")
> [@Someone somewhere in this thread...](#): > > That was cool. I felt like a teenage boy trying to see how far he could shoot. I think the author has been talking to some strange teenagers. The contest is to see who can piss highest on the wall, not whack off for distance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191.md?page=4)