# Masturbating while breastfeeding **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191 "2011-02-22T03:25:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/61 "2011-02-22T16:41:34Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Uh. [Sexual](http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-normal-to-feel-aroused-when-im-breastfeeding_8927.bc) [response](http://www.onehotmama.com/ask-rox/question20.htm) [during](http://www.drwendywalsh.com/blog/2009/09/women-who-orgasm-while-breast-feeding/) [breastfeeding](http://www.cafemom.com/answers/254020/Breastfeeding_orgasms) is [relatively](http://www.itsamomsworld.com/turned-on-by-breastfeeding.html) [common](http://scienceblogs.com/neurotopia/2009/11/oxytocin_this_ones_for_the_lad.php). Sexual response during breastfeeding may be common. SEEKING sexual response during breastfeeding probably isn’t. I say probably because I’ve never seen a study on it. But given our overwhelming taboo against sexual contact with children (which makes pedophilia uncommon), and given that I’ve had some pretty “out there” conversations with some pretty counterculture crunchy free love types and this has never, ever come up, I feel pretty confident in that statement, cites or no cites. Is it possible that tens of thousands of women are getting their vibrators set up in their nursing spots every day and we’re all just naive? Sure, it’s possible. But I don’t think it’s very likely. > [@anu-la1979](#): > > You can “uh” all you want, but I think being turned on by your breastfeeding baby and masturbating to his image is disgusting. What is it about attachment parenting in the US that it goes so off the rails? I think it’s possible that some people are so completely overwhelmed by the cultural message that Love = Sex that their wires get crossed. It’s abnormal, it’s dangerous and it’s veering into paraphila, but I can see how it happens. It’s really just like people who can’t imagine that sleeping (y’know, snoring sleeping, not sleeping as a euphemism for sex) with a child in the same bed could possibly be nonsexual. It’s the parent who feels love for her child and doesn’t know how to feel nonsexualized love. But I think we should also remember that this isn’t generally part of attachment parenting. This is a \*woman \*gone off the rails. ---
**Author:** ![limegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@limegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/limegreen)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/62 "2011-02-22T16:43:12Z")
Okay, I breastfeed three kids, and the rush of milk letting down made my breasts sensitive, but not in the sexual way. And my milk squirted halfway across the room all by itself – no sex involved. That woman is seriously disturbed, and I worry for the son when he starts getting mature. Maybe it was because I had three kids in five years, but my main thoughts while breastfeeding were: I’m thirsty and I’m tired. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/63 "2011-02-22T16:44:54Z")
Ew. Just…ew. This article is wank material for pedophiles. I feel like I need a shower now. I’d rather look at Goatse than read this shit again. Holy crap. This woman needs a whole fucking lot of psychological help. I’m on the fence about whether or not that child should be removed from her home. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/64 "2011-02-22T17:30:27Z")
Also, this: > [@](#): > > I want to be a model of erotic love for Felix to learn from. is messed up. NO ONE wants to look at their parents as erotic models. I’m not saying parents aren’t sexual beings but they don’t have to be good role models in the sex department for their kids. This author makes Ayelet “I hope my son turns out to be gay so he’ll love his mother forever” Waldman look normal. > [@](#): > > People always say of breastfeeding, “It’s sensual, not sexual.” But it is sexual. He nuzzles and paws at me, grunts, throws his head from side to side as he latches on, his pink mouth warm on my nipple. He tries to get as much as he can into his mouth as his whole body burrows into me, his little heels digging into my thighs and still-soft belly. He kneads the breast he’s nursing from with his hand to get more milk, and uses his free hand to tweak, twist and pull on my other nipple. I wonder if he’s holding onto it protectively, so no one else can get it. Unless your kid is Gussie from Tree Grows in Brooklyn, no, lady. He’s not. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/65 "2011-02-22T17:36:49Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I remember as a child reaching the age where cuddling with mom didn’t feel right. Mom had a tough time dealing with that- to her, I was still her baby. I can see how it can be difficult for mothers to negotiate some fo these feelings. Presumably she didn’t negotiate them by forcing you to stick around while she broke out the Sybian. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/66 "2011-02-22T17:37:33Z")
So what about women who have orgasms during breastfeeding without masturbating? Are they wrong and bad because their bodies’ natural responses to the stimulation of their nipples and the flood of oxytocin triggers an orgasmic response? Should those women stop nursing? Are they wrong if they breastfeed for longer or more frequently because the arousal is enjoyable, even if they don’t reach orgasm and don’t masturbate? Or is it only wrong if you actively stimulate your genitals during nursing? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/67 "2011-02-22T17:38:58Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > So what about women who have orgasms during breastfeeding without masturbating? Are they wrong and bad because their bodies’ natural responses to the stimulation of their nipples and the flood of oxytocin triggers an orgasmic response? Should those women stop nursing? Are they wrong if they breastfeed for longer or more frequently because the arousal is enjoyable, even if they don’t reach orgasm and don’t masturbate? Or is it only wrong if you actively stimulate your genitals during nursing? I’m going to go with the latter. I think it’s one thing if you can’t help it, but if you go out of your way to masturbate while the baby’s still on your teat…why? Like, have you not mastered delayed gratification to the point where you can’t put a kid down first? ---
**Author:** ![Cyningablod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/68 "2011-02-22T17:44:02Z")
> [@anu-la1979](#): > > No, the article is far far worse. It talks about parents and children sharing an “inherent sexuality” and a bunch of weird shit. > > Here’s an especially gross quotation: […] Oh. my. fucking. Og. :eek::eek::eek: I was rather less skeeved out than others–but still skeeved out!–by the scenario described in the OP. And then I read that quote, and…and… Fuck, I don’t even know. That’s just ALL KINDS OF WRONG! :mad: 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/69 "2011-02-22T17:53:59Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Also, this: > > is messed up. NO ONE wants to look at their parents as erotic models. I’m not saying parents aren’t sexual beings but they don’t have to be good role models in the sex department for their kids. > > . I don’t agree with this…I absolutely think parents should be good sexual role models for their children. But it should not be overt, for heaven’s sakes! What I mean is, I believe a mother especially should be seen to love her husband, and love sex with him, not through any overt actions by her, but just as a feeling - a model of a healthy sexual relationship with each other, so the daughter grows up and has a healthy sexual relationship and not a fucked-up one. I say mother because I feel that men have a different situation when it comes to sex - they are much more encouraged to love it from the start. In regards to the OP, I don’t think it’s ick to have sexual feelings while breastfeeding, or even masturbate after. During is disturbing, yes. And I can’t even read the article at work - my filters block it - but the author of the article seems like a whole different kettle of fish. Must she post that sort of stuff where her child will find it one day? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/70 "2011-02-22T17:55:19Z")
> [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > That would be the greatest sig line evah. > [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Your baby is not a dildo. Sorry, **SY** , but his one wins the sig line contest. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/71 "2011-02-22T18:03:31Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > So what about women who have orgasms during breastfeeding without masturbating? Are they wrong and bad because their bodies’ natural responses to the stimulation of their nipples and the flood of oxytocin triggers an orgasmic response? If this actually happens, then yes. They are disgusting perverts. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/72 "2011-02-22T18:04:05Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I don’t agree with this…I absolutely think parents should be good sexual role models for their children. But it should not be overt, for heaven’s sakes! What I mean is, I believe a mother especially should be seen to love her husband, and love sex with him, not through any overt actions by her, but just as a feeling - a model of a healthy sexual relationship with each other, so the daughter grows up and has a healthy sexual relationship and not a fucked-up one. I say mother because I feel that men have a different situation when it comes to sex - they are much more encouraged to love it from the start. Well, I guess I’d classify that as relationship role models. You know, treat each other with love and respect. I just don’t view that as a sexual thing–more of a relational/family type thing. Though my parents aren’t super physically demonstrative, so…maybe that colors my view? I think what you’re saying is a good thing, though, for all parents to do. > [@](#): > > In regards to the OP, I don’t think it’s ick to have sexual feelings while breastfeeding, or even masturbate after. During is disturbing, yes. And I can’t even read the article at work - my filters block it - but the author of the article seems like a whole different kettle of fish. Must she post that sort of stuff where her child will find it one day? Yeah, I don’t know what’s up with some parents. [Nerve.com](http://Nerve.com) is definitely a good site to avoid at work, though. (Sorry, I should probably have said that in my OP.) It’s not so much that there’s a lot of risque pictures but the content is very sexual. And kind of messed up as you can see. My personal favorite is the one by the anorexic girl who discovered she had gotten her period back when she went in to her college’s health services with vaginal odor only to find out that there was a used tampon up her that she must have put in during a drunken bender. ---
**Author:** ![beartato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@beartato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beartato)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/73 "2011-02-22T18:10:39Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I’m going to go with the latter. I think it’s one thing if you can’t help it, but if you go out of your way to masturbate while the baby’s still on your teat…why? Like, have you not mastered delayed gratification to the point where you can’t put a kid down first? Exactly. I’ve been in situations were I was turned on but it would have been inappropriate to just undo my pants and go for it. So you know what I did? Waited until an appropriate time. I’m sure there are plenty of women who enjoy having their nipples sucked or licked by their partners, and notice feelings of arousal when breastfeeding. But it’s not a sexual situation. When my doctor does a digital exam during a pap smear, I don’t get turned on, because it’s a non-sexual situation. When my husband does nearly the same thing, I do get turned on, because we’re sexual partners. It’s not hard to separate the situations in my mind. The girl who does my bikini waxes touches all sorts of delicate areas during a wax, and she’s cute, and the studio is nice and home-y feeling and the bed’s pretty comfortable. It’s nice, but even if I found myself getting really turned on, I wouldn’t see a need to act on it while I’m at the studio. So yes, I think it’s totally wack. A couple having sex in bed while a baby sleeps nearby? Not weird. Masturbating while holding your wide awake baby and breastfeeding? Weird. What kind of boundaries will she set with this kid? If you think a newborn has “inherent sexuality”, how will you feel about a fifteen year old boy? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/74 "2011-02-22T18:13:12Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > So what about women who have orgasms during breastfeeding without masturbating? Are they wrong and bad because their bodies’ natural responses to the stimulation of their nipples and the flood of oxytocin triggers an orgasmic response? Should those women stop nursing? Are they wrong if they breastfeed for longer or more frequently because the arousal is enjoyable, even if they don’t reach orgasm and don’t masturbate? Or is it only wrong if you actively stimulate your genitals during nursing? I agree with **Freudian**. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it is natural, it does happen to plenty of women (although I don’t think it happens to most women), it’s not wrong or bad, it’s simply physiology. But again, that’s not what this woman did. She wasn’t nursing and found herself tingling in her nethers. She was planning, she was \*seeking \*sexual gratification from breastfeeding. Seeking orgasms from the actions or physical attributes of your child is not common, normal or healthy, especially when (as it seems to be for this woman) you lose your sexual attraction to your mate. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/75 "2011-02-22T18:14:22Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > If this actually happens, then yes. They are disgusting perverts. Annnnnd here we go, right on schedule. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/76 "2011-02-22T18:18:26Z")
Why is DtC’s saying that any worse than the almost unanimous cry from other Dopers that masturbating while breastfeeding is disgusting and perverted? He’s not allowed to have an opinion (which I don’t agree with, but whatever) if it’s a minority one? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/77 "2011-02-22T18:19:41Z")
Deriving sexual gratification from an infant is gross, period. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/78 "2011-02-22T18:20:02Z")
Well, if someone can’t help orgasming, that’s not their fault. Condemning a planned activity is one thing but condemning a physiological response is different. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/79 "2011-02-22T18:20:57Z")
How can someone not help orgasming? That makes no sense to me. Of course they can help it. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/80 "2011-02-22T18:23:17Z")
See **tumbleddown** ’s post on breast feeding. Also, rape victims have been known to have orgasms during the act of rape. Do you really think they were trying for the big O? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191.md?page=5)