# Masturbating while breastfeeding **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191 "2011-02-22T03:25:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/81 "2011-02-22T18:23:59Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > How can someone not help orgasming? That makes no sense to me. Of course they can help it. No, women sometimes can’t, really, if the physical stimulation is there. I had no idea men could, but I’ll take your word for it if you take mine for women. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/82 "2011-02-22T18:59:20Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Sorry, **SY** , but his one wins the sig line contest. Totally agree! ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/83 "2011-02-22T19:05:11Z")
Hell, I’ll concede. I agree. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/84 "2011-02-22T19:08:46Z")
It’s gross. If someone got aroused while breast feeding - uh, ok. I certainly don’t - I feel the opposite of aroused, actually. In fact, when hubby and I are going to get it on I advise him to avoid the boobage 'cus if he starts fooling around there and I have let down it totally kills my mood. As in 100%. I realize that this is not universal. However, feeling aroused while breast feeding and then seeking out your infant to get yourself off? Ugh. And feeling aroused by his naked body??? Jebus - that’s foul. My baby is as cute as a button and sometimes when I’m changing him he grabs his junk and it’s hilarious. I’ll call my husband/mom/SIL to check it out because it’s hilarious. I sure as hell don’t get turned on by it. He’s a little baby. Getting turned on by little babies is pretty much the definition of paedophilla, as far as I can tell. Gross. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/85 "2011-02-22T19:17:13Z")
I suspect **Dio** will be here any minute to calmly and rationally explain his line of thinking. The thread will maybe make it to three pages but will taper off in a day or two once everyone has said their piece and the thread will quietly drift off the front page. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/86 "2011-02-22T19:18:59Z")
> [@anu-la1979](#): > > …and I think her kid is going to be very very skeeved out when he reads this article 10 or 12 years from now. Nah, they will have gone a lot farther together by then. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/87 "2011-02-22T19:25:46Z")
> [@xoferew](#): > > I don’t think this is criminal or necessarily the beginning of a screwed up parent-child relationship or anything, but it’s kind of like making obscene gestures at a blind person. It doesn’t hurt them, but it’s still not decent behavior – you’re using innocent others for your own amusement. Supposing that people could retroactively give consent, imagine 100 babies who have reached the age of consent being informed by their mothers. I wonder what percent of them would say, “It’s fine that you did that, mom.” I think this is an excellent point. There is more to potential harm than physical damage. Our emotional relationships with one another are complex and significant, and fraught with consequences that can’t be easily mapped out. I admitted from the beginning that cathecting\* on an infant erotically was bad, but I read the OP as indicating that this wasn’t happening in the case being discussed. I still haven’t read the article, but I see now that I was wrong, and that the author of the article was doing just that. OTOH, I think **Dio** has shown the potential for a _reductio ad absurdum_ in condemning the behavior. It’s normal for humans to respond to physical stimulation with a sexual response. It’s normal to associate love and sex in some way. When the woman said in the article that she could understand how some people could sexually abuse children, that was clearly a sign that she was doing the wrong thing, but I also think it is important for all of us to understand how people can do those things and how how those boundaries get crossed, and to analyze these things rationally rather than relying on our emotional reactions. People have been condemned and jailed for all kinds of behaviors that made someone go “Eww” but that were actually harmless, whether it was taking a bath or sleeping in a bed with an infant or having sex with an adult of the same sex. It’s important that we figure out what’s actually going on before we make judgments. [\* This is one of my favorite obscure words. It means to invest with emotional energy. The noun form is _cathexis_.] ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/88 "2011-02-22T19:32:58Z")
Right. You don’t really want baby’s first words to include the “safe word” you agreed on, do you? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/89 "2011-02-22T19:52:07Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > I think this is an excellent point. There is more to potential harm than physical damage. Our emotional relationships with one another are complex and significant, and fraught with consequences that can’t be easily mapped out. I admitted from the beginning that cathecting\* on an infant erotically was bad, but I read the OP as indicating that this wasn’t happening in the case being discussed. I still haven’t read the article, but I see now that I was wrong, and that the author of the article was doing just that. > > OTOH, I think **Dio** has shown the potential for a _reductio ad absurdum_ in condemning the behavior. It’s normal for humans to respond to physical stimulation with a sexual response. It’s normal to associate love and sex in some way. > > When the woman said in the article that she could understand how some people could sexually abuse children, that was clearly a sign that she was doing the wrong thing, but I also think it is important for all of us to understand how people can do those things and how how those boundaries get crossed, and to analyze these things rationally rather than relying on our emotional reactions. People have been condemned and jailed for all kinds of behaviors that made someone go “Eww” but that were actually harmless, whether it was taking a bath or sleeping in a bed with an infant or having sex with an adult of the same sex. It’s important that we figure out what’s actually going on before we make judgments. Thanks, **Alan Smithee** , for saying so eloquently what I completely failed to express. The author did cross some lines- though I suspect she is exaggerating some things for the sake of shock value/attention/ratings. She seems like a bit of a headcase and not the ideal mom, but I highly doubt she represents any serious harm to her child. In any case, I do think it’s useful to frankly discuss difficult topics like this. While it’s not “normal,” she’s probably not the first person in the universe to confront feelings like this, and honestly examining the issue is a lot more likely to lead to healthy solutions than saying “Anyone who feels anything like this is a disgusting human being and there is nothing else to say.” ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/90 "2011-02-22T21:10:39Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Sorry, **SY** , but his one wins the sig line contest. > [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > Totally agree! > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Hell, I’ll concede. I agree. Yay. I think this is what the kids these days are calling a “dubious distinction”. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/91 "2011-02-22T21:15:50Z")
I think the takaway from this article is, “if you find yourself jamming a baby into the gaping [del]vagina[/del] void where your sense of self should be, seek professional assistance instead of rhapsodising on the internet about how good your baby is at fondling your tits.” ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/92 "2011-02-22T21:30:34Z")
I wanted to post “I think it’s hot” just to see what happened, but I didn’t have the guts. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/93 "2011-02-22T21:30:37Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Right. You don’t really want baby’s first words to include the “safe word” you agreed on, do you? Second sig line winner! ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/94 "2011-02-22T21:54:23Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Thanks, **Alan Smithee** , for saying so eloquently what I completely failed to express. The author did cross some lines- though I suspect she is exaggerating some things for the sake of shock value/attention/ratings. She seems like a bit of a headcase and not the ideal mom, but I highly doubt she represents any serious harm to her child. In any case, I do think it’s useful to frankly discuss difficult topics like this. While it’s not “normal,” she’s probably not the first person in the universe to confront feelings like this, and honestly examining the issue is a lot more likely to lead to healthy solutions than saying “Anyone who feels anything like this is a disgusting human being and there is nothing else to say.” What do you mean by “confront feelings?” It’s true that breastfeeding can cause sexual stimulation. Accepting this as a nursing mother, not freaking out, and redirecting any inappropriate thoughts is the appropriate way to deal with what is a purely physiological response. Running with it by using the baby as a sex toy is not. ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/95 "2011-02-22T22:07:06Z")
Even if you can’t help it- breastfeeding a baby makes you cum, it still isn’t ok. Just don’t breastfeed. It’s icky, regardless of whether it’s voluntary or not. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/96 "2011-02-23T00:15:05Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > Even if you can’t help it- breastfeeding a baby makes you cum, it still isn’t ok. Just don’t breastfeed. It’s icky, regardless of whether it’s voluntary or not. Seriously? There are all kinds of well-documented benefits to breastfeeding infants. Yet you’re willing to tell someone else to give up breastfeeding just because it squicks you out? Some people think all breastfeeding is icky. Some people think all orgasms are icky. I found something out that was pretty shocking and disgusting: I was conceived while my parents were _having sex_! Talk about involving someone non-consensually! Frankly,I prefer not to think about it to this day, and I’d be happier if my parents had used a test tube. Fortunately, however, I was able to get over most of the horror of finding this out by the time I started kindergarten. I’ve even considered doing the same thing when I decide to conceive a child, though I imagine it will be just as icky to them when they find out. In other news, icky does not imply wrong. ---
**Author:** ![xoferew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e9a140/32.png) [@xoferew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xoferew)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/97 "2011-02-23T00:34:43Z")
Alan, that’s awful! I hope it was an accident! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/98 "2011-02-23T00:44:13Z")
No, I typed it on purpose. Sorry. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/99 "2011-02-23T00:48:34Z")
Please tell me this woman is making this up. I’m by no means a vanilla person. In fact, the only person to accuse me of being vanilla was a pro domme who would have been ecstatic if I gave a speech on Kabbalah and then urinated on her. But, what this woman describes is just sick. Inadvertently getting arousal, or sexual pleasure from breast feeding a child is one thing. We can’t always control our bodies or our subconscious. But this woman has deliberately, I say again deliberately, eroticised her child. This is twisted and wrong. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191/100 "2011-02-23T01:12:41Z")
Yeah, right. Like you prudes never played with a Baby Rub-One-Off doll. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbating-while-breastfeeding/572191.md?page=6)