# Masturbation and Statistics **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 18, 2000, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812 "2000-08-18T02:05:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cogitoergosum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Cogitoergosum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cogitoergosum)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/1 "2000-08-18T02:05:00Z")
The other day I received the following in my email about how much men masturbate. The problem with the math, as you will see, is that it divides the week up into rigid 10 minute periods. Anyway, I was wondering what the correct way to solve the problem is: "According too the well known ‘Kinsey Report’ On: “Sexual Behavior In The Human Male” 98% of males (including married men) admitted to masturbating. Average: 3 times per week. (and,… 85% admitted premarital sex; 50% admitted adultery) Given consideration to the current male population: Current population - 134,349,027 _MEN_ in the United States according to: ([www.census.gov](http://www.census.gov) 7PM-EST 02/01/2000) Lets Consider This: It takes at least ten minutes (on average) for a man to masturbate. Help Me Do The Numbers Here: 134,349,027 men in the United States X 3 wack-offs/week = 403,047,081 wack-offs/week 6 ten-minute-periods/hour X 24hours/day X 7days/week = 1,008 ten-minute-periods/week 403,047,081 wack-offs/week / 1,008 ten-minute-periods/week = 399,848 wack-offs/ten-minute-period 399,848 wack-offs/ten-minute-period X 98% (Kinsey Factor) = 391,851 wack-offs/ten-minute-period And So the Conclusion it: At any given moment (on average), 391,851 men in the United States are wacking-off." ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/2 "2000-08-18T02:45:56Z")
Useful sex statistics: 1. “According to the World Health Organization, there are 100 million [orgasms] every day, making it thousands of times more common than birth or death.” Cite: Saul, John Ralston. _The Doubter’s Companion_. Toronto: Penguin, 1995. Statistic from: _The New Yorker,_ 29 November 1993, 8. 2. 98% of men admit to masturbating. 2% of men are craven liars. ---
**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/3 "2000-08-18T03:21:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cogitoergosum \* > \*\*"According too the well known ‘Kinsey Report’ On: “Sexual > Behavior In The Human Male” 98% of males (including married > men) admitted to masturbating. > Average: 3 times per week. (and,… 85% admitted premarital > sex; 50% admitted adultery) > \*\* 3 times a week? I would have guessed 3 times a day. Men out there, you are getting flabby and out of shape. And don’t tell me that you are saving it for the wife. Now a new girlfriend may like it 3 or more times a day. Seriously, I have heard the average male teenager averages about 3-5 times a day. As little a 3 times a week would indicate many adult males choose or care not to. Or am I just hornier. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/4 "2000-08-18T03:29:27Z")
**cooldude** , you are one horny bastard. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dewt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@dewt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dewt)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/5 "2000-08-18T03:48:22Z")
Cooldude, 3 times a day? Ok… I’ve had days like that… but \*\* _five_ \*\*?!? Every day… oh wait… you said average. That means some days it’s like 2, somedays what - ten? yeep. I’m getting a cramp in my forearm just thinking of it. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/6 "2000-08-18T04:14:33Z")
Not only are you a genius, CogitoErgoSum, but I _really_ like your screen name as well! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/7 "2000-08-18T05:14:57Z")
Yes, five. Nannynannynannynannynanny. ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/8 "2000-08-18T07:49:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Yes, five. > > Nannynannynannynannynanny. \*\* Just five? Wimp! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tisme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f0a364/32.png) [@Tisme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tisme)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/9 "2000-08-18T08:20:31Z")
Excuse me for a moment, I think I’m lagging behind. Be back shortly… ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/10 "2000-08-18T15:49:56Z")
What defines ‘masturbation?’ Guess ya forgot to look. People lie the most about their sexuality. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/11 "2000-08-18T17:26:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revedge \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > > \*\*Yes, five. > > > > Nannynannynannynannynanny. \*\* > > Just five? > Wimp! 😛 > > \*\* On a bad day. ---
**Author:** ![Cogitoergosum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Cogitoergosum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cogitoergosum)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/12 "2000-08-18T17:50:25Z")
Thank you Democritus, but I think the SN compliments should go to Handy in a thread like this. ---
**Author:** ![eyor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@eyor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eyor)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/13 "2000-08-18T17:56:47Z")
Is masterbation sinful? ---
**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/14 "2000-08-18T18:34:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eyor \* > \*\*Is masterbation sinful? \*\* Yep. That is why it is so fun. ---
**Author:** ![CoyoteFish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/67e7ee/32.png) [@CoyoteFish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoyoteFish)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/15 "2000-08-18T18:41:59Z")
My dad always told me that there are two kinds of liars in this world: those that say they never have and those that say they’ve quit. I wish he wouldn’t tell me things like that. ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/16 "2000-08-18T21:40:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eyor \* > \*\*Is masterbation sinful? \*\* Only when egregiously misspelled. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2000, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/17 "2000-08-18T23:13:39Z")
> [@](#): > > _in the OP_ > \*\*And So the Conclusion is: > > At any given moment (on average), 391,851 men in the United > States are wacking-off." > \*\* Well, count me in. (But not right now. I have to work the mouse…on my COMPUTER, you perverts!) > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*“According to the World Health Organization, there are 100 million [orgasms] every day, making it thousands of times more common than birth or death.” Cite: Saul, John Ralston. _The Doubter’s Companion_. Toronto: Penguin, 1995. Statistic from: _The New Yorker,_ 29 November 1993, 8. > \*\* If what the Women’s Studies department at my school is to be believed, 98 million of those orgasms are _male_ orgasms! ---
**Author:** ![eyor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@eyor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eyor)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2000, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/18 "2000-08-19T01:58:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xenophon41 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by eyor \* > > \*\*Is masterbation sinful? \*\* > > Only when egregiously misspelled. \*\* lol, I was going to go back and change it, but this board doesn’t seem to allow you to edit posts. But since we’re on the topic, don’t you think you ought to have a hyphin in mis-spelled? …okay, maybe not ---
**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/19 "2000-08-19T04:02:07Z")
I must be ambidextrous. I play with my mouse with my right hand, and my monkey with my left. I suppose most of you can not do both at one time, 3-10 TIMES A DAY!!! BHAHAHAHAHAH!!My left hand is getting anxious, so its off to a porn site for me. ---
**Author:** ![dewt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@dewt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dewt)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2000, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812/20 "2000-08-19T04:15:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cooldude \* > \*\*I must be ambidextrous. I play with my mouse with my right hand, and my monkey with my left. I suppose most of you can not do both at one time, 3-10 TIMES A DAY!!! BHAHAHAHAHAH!!My left hand is getting anxious, so its off to a porn site for me. \*\* As computers and the internet became popular, new skills had to be learned. Wacking off with the left hand while mousing with the right is one of those skills. Still can’t write with my left hand though… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-and-statistics/29812.md?page=2)