# masturbation breaks **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 6, 2001, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754 "2001-11-06T07:31:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![whatmove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecc23a/32.png) [@whatmove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatmove)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/1 "2001-11-06T07:31:42Z")
The concept of the smoke-break is such an odd one to me because I view smoking as so recreational. I can’t find a way to really justify the smoke-break (though I can think of a lot of good excuses for it). I would compare the smoke-break to a drink-break or masturbation-break (not just a quickie during a bathroom break). What other fun break ideas would y’all like to instate that would help you have a better day at work? ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/2 "2001-11-06T08:20:25Z")
Pot… The other smoke break. * * * Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? -Morons! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/3 "2001-11-06T09:07:12Z")
Go for a ride break. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/4 "2001-11-06T09:09:35Z")
Oh yeah and **HOOTERS** [sup]tm[/sup] break. ---
**Author:** ![Gaspode](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gaspode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaspode)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/5 "2001-11-06T10:07:53Z")
Point break? ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/6 "2001-11-06T15:15:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Point break? Whoa… that was so, like, gnarley or something. emergency break ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/7 "2001-11-06T18:05:12Z")
Fart break. You’re presentation’s over and you can finally breathe a fart of relief. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Red\_Menace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@The\_Red\_Menace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Red_Menace)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/8 "2001-11-06T18:06:30Z")
Bone break breaks? ---
**Author:** ![neuseance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@neuseance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuseance)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/9 "2001-11-06T18:32:50Z")
A Bartleby the Scrivener Break. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/10 "2001-11-06T18:55:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by neuseance \* > \*\*A Bartleby the Scrivener Break. \*\* I would prefer not to. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/11 "2001-11-06T19:01:30Z")
The run-outside-and-scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs-so-you-don’t-kill-someone break. Could also be called a Sanity Break. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/12 "2001-11-06T19:03:51Z")
ALLRIGHT, WHO THE HELL BROKE MY MASTURBATION??? Was it you, whatmove? Damn Kids. KEEP YOU HANDS OFF MY MATURBATION PLEASE. ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/13 "2001-11-06T19:29:49Z")
I’ll second the masturbation break. How long would it have to be? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/14 "2001-11-06T19:47:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Daowajan \* > \*\*I’ll second the masturbation break. How long would it have to be? \*\* Nah, too easy. ---
**Author:** ![Nymaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d9b06d/32.png) [@Nymaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymaz)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/15 "2001-11-06T20:57:47Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Daowajan_ > I’ll second the masturbation break. How long would it have to be? OK, I’ve heard of women that won’t have sex with a man who is under a certain size, but comeon, Daowajan, your standards should at least include yourself… ---
**Author:** ![JustPlainBryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@JustPlainBryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustPlainBryan)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/16 "2001-11-06T20:58:47Z")
I personally like the Tequila Break. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/17 "2001-11-06T21:07:39Z")
In a similar vein as the OP, how about a lap dance break? That’d make for some interesting company recruitment pitches… “And if you work for us, Tiffani here will give you a lap dance twice a day!” “HI!!!” **Jiggle** “Wow! Where do I sign?!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/18 "2001-11-06T21:12:48Z")
Striaght Dope break ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/19 "2001-11-06T21:29:49Z")
Nap break. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/20 "2001-11-06T21:45:40Z")
Page break. Try not to read anything into that. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754.md?page=2)