# masturbation breaks **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 6, 2001, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754 "2001-11-06T07:31:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/21 "2001-11-06T22:17:14Z")
I’d say jail breaks, but after that, no one would come back to work. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/22 "2001-11-06T23:22:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soda \* > \*\*Nap break. \*\* With juice and graham crackers after 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/23 "2001-11-07T00:53:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Controvert \* > \*\*Striaght Dope break \*\* I already have this. It lasts approximately four hours, distributed evenly across the entire work day. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/24 "2001-11-07T02:23:30Z")
Boss’s neck break. Hey, as long as it’s fantasy.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Has\_anyone\_seen\_my\_pants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Has\_anyone\_seen\_my\_pants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Has_anyone_seen_my_pants)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/25 "2001-11-07T05:28:51Z")
Heroin break? ---
**Author:** ![Ace\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Ace\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace_Face)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/26 "2001-11-07T06:55:05Z")
**Spring break!** Kegs! Wet t-shirt contests! Stoned volleyball! Thongs! Yeah… Thongs!!! Thongs… [sub]thongs… (…thought of seeing my boss in a thong…_shudder_…what what was that about smoke breaks?)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/27 "2001-11-07T14:09:53Z")
Masturbation break, huh? You know, it’s still a little weird when my boss tells me she’s going outside for a smoke. I just don’t think I could take it if she said she was going outside to diddle her clit. ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/28 "2001-11-07T14:23:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* > \*\*Masturbation break, huh? > > You know, it’s still a little weird when my boss tells me she’s going outside for a smoke. I just don’t think I could take it if she said she was going outside to diddle her clit. \*\* Man, that was a terrible image you just put in my head…the Gen Mgr is a little 50ish lady who looks a lot like one of my aunts… (goes to shower off yucky feeling) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/29 "2001-11-07T16:04:28Z")
How about the boink break? Or are we talking about solo stuff? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/30 "2001-11-07T19:50:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > \*\*How about the boink break? Or are we talking about solo stuff? \*\* Isn’t that what “hump day” (Wednesday) is for? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Niobium\_Knight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc8723/32.png) [@Niobium\_Knight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Niobium_Knight)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/31 "2001-11-07T23:55:28Z")
but could you actually admit you were going for a masturbation break? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/32 "2001-11-08T00:19:04Z")
Use a euphemism, of course. “I gotta go check the toner.” “Just gonna go fill the ol’ water bottle.” “I’ll be back in a bit. I need to feed the meter.” ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/33 "2001-11-08T01:55:22Z")
sunbathing break ---
**Author:** ![Palve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a698b9/32.png) [@Palve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palve)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/34 "2001-11-08T02:03:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Niobium Knight \* > \*\*but could you actually admit you were going for a masturbation break? \*\* Sure…if you wanna get fired. Just imagine the expression on your boss’s face after you say “I’m gonna go jack off. I’ll be back in 2 minutes.” I don’t see why this couldn’t be done during lunch break tho. Just drive to a relatively secluded place, hop in the back seat and fire away! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/35 "2001-11-08T03:06:28Z")
I don’t know about the rest of you but I really need a ten minute work break every day. Many times I’ve found that after goofing off for seven hours and fifty minutes, a brief spell of productive work can be very refreshing. ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/36 "2001-11-08T05:00:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Little Nemo \* > \*\*I don’t know about the rest of you but I really need a ten minute work break every day. Many times I’ve found that after goofing off for seven hours and fifty minutes, a brief spell of productive work can be very refreshing. \*\* Reading the thread, reading the thread…alright, no one’s taken my idea so far…almost to the end…nothing yet…yes…yes…YES…NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!!! [sour grapes]I could have said it funnier.[/sour grapes] ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/37 "2001-11-08T05:19:35Z")
Sports break. I work with schools and I envy all them little buggers having gym class built into their day. Man, if I could take 1/2 hour to go shoot some hoops, play kickball, play bloodball with my boss (who’s 40 pounds lighter, 6 inches shorter and blind in one eye - sweet!) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ccd318/32.png) [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/38 "2001-11-08T07:18:07Z")
Masterbation break? Give me a break! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/39 "2001-11-08T07:36:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamlet \* > \*\*ALLRIGHT, WHO THE HELL BROKE MY MASTURBATION??? > > Was it you, whatmove? > > Damn Kids. > > KEEP YOU HANDS OFF MY MATURBATION PLEASE. \*\* Mom always said, don’t play ball in the house… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@The\_Tof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tof)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754/40 "2001-11-08T17:22:24Z")
Whenever smokers asked me if it was OK if I covered for them for a smoke break… I always said fine so long as they allow me a Twinkie break. To which I am given blank stares and I get to explain that so long as they are allowed frequent breaks during the day that make me have to work harder… I should also be allowed to randomly go and do nothing for 10 minutes every hour… just to be fair. This is usually followed by a berating over my lack of understanding of their NEED for a smoke… yada yada. Masterbation Break… What you don’t take them now? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-breaks/91754.md?page=3)