# Masturbation: Do you take the short way or scenic route to Happy-town? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2007, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475 "2007-05-10T00:24:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/1 "2007-05-10T00:24:01Z")
I was talking to some friends about this the other day. The were giving me crap because I said I like to prolong the experience when I “spank the monkey” They all preferred the short cut method. I’m just wondering if I’m a freak of nature or what? (heh, heh) [shrugs] Hey what can I say? I love myself. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/2 "2007-05-10T00:28:56Z")
Sometimes I make love to myself, taking it slow, making things nice and sweet so I can respect myself in the morning. Other times, I just want to cut to the chase and fuck myself silly, orgasm, turn over and go to sleep. If I’m lucky, I’ll remember to turn off the vibrator and/or lights first, but usually not both. Not unlike my sex life with other people, actually. ---
**Author:** ![dgrdfd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@dgrdfd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dgrdfd)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/3 "2007-05-10T00:35:29Z")
I almost have to do it every day so when I’m not in the mood I will do it quick but I’d rather prolong it. ---
**Author:** ![nongoog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@nongoog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nongoog)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/4 "2007-05-10T00:38:20Z")
I like to prolong it a bit since my boyfriend has yet to perfect the “draw-it-out” technique. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/5 "2007-05-10T01:23:25Z")
If alone and have the time and in the mood, prolonged. If just want to get it done and go to bed, or there are people in the house who may catch me 😉 , I’ll make it quick. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/6 "2007-05-10T01:39:45Z")
your username and the topic. Beautiful. I normally do it as a sleeping aid. So shortcut it is. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/7 "2007-05-10T02:24:12Z")
Marvin Gaye and candle light. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/8 "2007-05-10T02:58:45Z")
My vibrator takes me out to dinner first, then cuddles with me after. Sadly, the government doesn’t recognize our love. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/9 "2007-05-10T03:06:21Z")
Sometimes it’s a quick scratch of the itch; sometimes it’s long and slow and accompanied by elaborate fantasies. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/10 "2007-05-10T03:07:00Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] My vibrator takes me out to dinner first, then cuddles with me after. Sadly, the government doesn’t recognize our love. ☹ [/QUOTE] Can we get pics of the happy couple? Hehehehe I tend to prolong, as it seems my orgasm is more powerful if I do that. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/11 "2007-05-10T04:03:10Z")
Why should I do it yet not do it very nicely and very well? I like to build up, and I also like to get right on the verge then call it quits for a few hours, repeat x several iterations before eventually going over. TMI? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/12 "2007-05-10T04:40:04Z")
[QUOTE=AHunter3] snip… I also like to get right on the verge then call it quits for a few hours, repeat x several iterations before eventually going over. [/QUOTE] You get right THERE and then quit? That’s discipline! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/13 "2007-05-10T04:56:18Z")
My motto is: “The longer, the longer.” ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/14 "2007-05-10T10:35:48Z")
It should be like a microwave fireplace and give you an entire romantic evening in 120 seconds. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/15 "2007-05-10T10:51:03Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] My vibrator takes me out to dinner first, then cuddles with me after. Sadly, the government doesn’t recognize our love. ☹ [/QUOTE] But you can now get married at Disney! Happy Town…heh. ---
**Author:** ![DellieM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@DellieM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DellieM)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/16 "2007-05-10T12:49:27Z")
Nice thread! What’s the most sensitive part of your body when masturbating? Your ears. I once had a boyfriend who would paint his fingernails so it looked like somebody else was doing it for him. Then he would lay on his side until his arm went numb. (not true - a stand up story that always got a laugh.) Basically, I’m too lazy to do it - I always fall asleep before the curtain call. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/17 "2007-05-10T13:03:34Z")
As Andrew Dice Clay once intoned, “One stroke - DONE!” An exaggeration for humors sake, but that is the idea. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/18 "2007-05-10T13:18:42Z")
Masturbation for me is pretty much a biological function. I don’t prolong it unnecessarily any more than I would take a slow, leisurely piss. On a good day, I’m capable of blowing a load in well under 30 seconds, thus enabling me to get back about my day\*. Please don’t draw conclusions about my sexual habits **with others** from this. - Of course, first I smoke a cigarette, give myself a nice perfunctory cuddle, and slip cab fare into my own pocket. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/19 "2007-05-10T14:20:30Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Masturbation for me is pretty much a biological function. [/QUOTE] I’m pretty much the polar opposite. It’s not a biological function, it’s a pleasurable passtime. I usually decide to die the little death when I realize “Holy mother of Og, look at the time!” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/20 "2007-05-10T14:56:16Z")
Scenic route all the way. I’d hire a tour guide and go up in a balloon if I could. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475.md?page=2)