# Masturbation: Do you take the short way or scenic route to Happy-town? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2007, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475 "2007-05-10T00:24:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/21 "2007-05-10T17:38:52Z")
I barely have time for the EZ Pass lane most mornings, but when I have the time I like to take the back roads. Either way I get there though. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/22 "2007-05-10T17:41:22Z")
Take the long way home, Take the long way home. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/23 "2007-05-10T17:53:13Z")
Most of the time I slap some porno on the widescreen, jam a cattle prod up my ass and BAM! I’m done. Then I go get a samwich. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/24 "2007-05-10T18:44:15Z")
Depends on my mood. If I want to have a stronger orgasm, I don’t vary the stroke speed at all, just keep steady - It lasts a lot longer. If I want to just come and get it over with, I go as fast as I can - It can be under a minute, easily… Joe ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/25 "2007-05-10T19:01:55Z")
I must take a rental car because the interior looks different every single time. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/26 "2007-05-10T19:07:20Z")
[QUOTE=Leaffan] Take the long way home, Take the long way home. [/QUOTE] So, you bust out a pint of tadpole yogurt with Robert Frost poetry playing in the background? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/27 "2007-05-10T19:08:54Z")
> [@](#): > > So, you bust out a pint of tadpole yogurt with Robert Frost poetry playing in the background? I think it’s supposed to be **SuperTramp** , not Frost. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/28 "2007-05-10T19:11:40Z")
Hm. I was thinking “The Road Less Traveled”, but SuperTramp seems a little more apropos. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/29 "2007-05-10T21:22:19Z")
Depends. And no, it has nothing to do with wearing diapers. If it’s a late-night-can’t-sleep-pornsurf session, it’s the scenic route. I could go for a couple hours, varying the stroke speed and intensity depending on what I’m viewing and/or reading. When the moment comes, I could shoot it across the bathroom into the open toilet. Alternatively, if it’s a I’m-horny-gotta-get-rid-of-this-so-I-can-concentrate session, I could be done in two minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/30 "2007-05-10T21:39:40Z")
I like to practice my control and stamina, so I usually do kegels while I spank the monkey. I’ve gotten really good at it actually. I can orgasm without any emission, a so-called dry orgasm if you will. The resultant load-blowing afterwards feels like heaven. I really dont understand the quick and easy approach. It feels good so why not make it last longer? My current favorite is cuddling with my favorite Youtube video of Reon Kadena taking a shower. She’s clothed but in this case that just makes it sexier. **Warning, NSFW** , contains extreme sexiness. It’s not porn but it’s definitely erotic to the max. May produce a desire to jerk off in male viewers. [Shower Time](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQXxhbLwpIs) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/31 "2007-05-10T22:29:01Z")
[QUOTE=McNew] Alternatively, if it’s a I’m-horny-gotta-get-rid-of-this-so-I-can-concentrate session, I could be done in two minutes. [/QUOTE] Two minutes sounds quick, but it’s a really long two minutes if you’re worried about somebody walking past your cube. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2007, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/32 "2007-05-10T22:49:43Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] Hm. I was thinking “The Road Less Traveled”, but SuperTramp seems a little more apropos. [/QUOTE] “The Road Traveled Often and Regularly” more like it. 😉 Si ---
**Author:** ![Barrington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Barrington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrington)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475/33 "2007-05-11T14:06:53Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] My vibrator takes me out to dinner first, then cuddles with me after. Sadly, the government doesn’t recognize our love. ☹ [/QUOTE] Ah, the love that dare not buzz its name … For the OP, it depends on the circumstances. If it’s just a sleep aid, then quickly does it - other times, I draw it out. If you’ll pardon the expression. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-do-you-take-the-short-way-or-scenic-route-to-happy-town/403475.md?page=1)